DUEX

 

SPRING : FERTILITY IS IN : NMNK OUT : OMNK = ONCE MARRIED NO KIDS

 SPRING : FERTILITY IS IN : NMNK OUT : OMNK = ONCE MARRIED NO KIDS

SPRING HAS SUCH AN EMPHASIS ON FERTILITY, especially at Easter Time - all those hens and chicks, eggs, bunnies - symbols of reproduction and fertility - I wonder if this is the worst time for people who find themselves to be infertile.

The inability to have children when you want them is one of the unintentional causes for being a NMNK person, you could say it's FATE.

We're used to hearing about modern medical miracles and assume that because such things as invitro fertilization are possible that everyone has access (money / insurance) to receive these medical treatments and services.  We hear about all the children who are in need of being adopted and we think that is something anyone with enough love and maturity to raise a child can do.  Then we find out that it's usually expensive, at least if you want to adopt a baby, difficult, that you have to go to another country if you're older and older means 40ish!  (Foster care options may be better for the NMNK's who want to nurture another human being into adulthood.)

I was thinking of an old friend of mine the other day, Lori.  She was sure she didn't want children and her husband seemed to be OK with that.  Then, seven years into their marriage, after they had acquired a home and had a healthy savings account, suddenly, she very much wanted children. 

I've never had such a change of mind myself, but I wanted to be supportive of her.

Strangely, our friendship ended in part because she felt I was not sympathetic enough when their efforts to adopt were not successful.  I admit I didn't really understand but I did try to and anything I said was probably more in error because she didn't want to hear it.  I told her about someone I knew who adopted a child, about five at the time, a child who was then raised in typical family, without violence, had a lot of therapy anyway, and still turned into the kind of teenager that rages and physically abuses his own parents. 

Lori, I'll call her, was not all that happy in her marriage.  She was the wife who made much more than her husband, and who allowed him to continue in work that didn't support them.  Personally I have nothing against one person being a stay at home mom or dad, or one person paying more or all of the bills. 

One of the demands she made prior to trying for a baby was that he be the main breadwinner while she gave up her business.  He managed to get a job due to connections that his father had, and so he was able to support them.  However, Lori also didn't like the fact that he had to work overtime and she sometimes cooked dinner for them and he did a no- show.  I told her that he probably could not be the only man at the office that went home to his wife.  The man he worked for wanted to take the whole staff out a whole lot.  I guess I felt she couldn't have it all her way, so the hell with the cold meatloaf and be happy she had a husband who could support them.

Some time after she withdrew her friendship, which hurt me, I found out that SHE HAD DIED.  Now, if they had successfully adopted a child, that child might have suffered the loss of its adoptive mother.  How much really was her husband into this adoption?  Let's say that his BOSS even tried to help them get an attorney who would make their dreams of having a child come true.

Years later I realize that Lori was not happy in her life.  I'm not putting her down for this.  I'm just saying that was the case.  She didn't want the life she had.  She wanted ... more.  And she didn't get it before she died.

Has her husband remarried?  I don't think so.  At least I haven't found him on the Internet posing with a new wife or new woman.  OMNK = Once Married No Kids?

- Sister

(First published March 27, 2012)

VICIOUS SENIORS TARGET CHILDLESS BUT WIDOWED EX WOMAN EXECUTIVE - SHUN HER

VICIOUS SENIORS TARGET CHILDLESS BUT WIDOWED EX WOMAN EXECUTIVE - SHUN HER

Vicious?

I have a bad memory of visiting many times at an "exclusive" senior living building where the new resident was a ex woman executive from New York City, who had married late in life and then been widowed. 
The senior I was visiting was male and NMNK.  He was pitied.

The other women - her generational peers - were very mean spirited to this childless woman.  When their children and grandchildren came to visit this ex-executive was friendly and talkative with them.   She was trying to fit in and acknowledge their families.  After all, they all sat in the common area with the fancy decor much of the day.

The traditional stay at home mother senior citizens who were living there would accuse her of jealousy and resent her friendliness to their "loved ones."  I spoke to this woman several times before she moved elsewhere.  I HAD TO WONDER HOW MEAN THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN IF SHE HAD ALSO NEVER MARRIED.  WOULD THEY HAVE ASSUMED SHE WAS QUEER?

She was very proud of her career and had career advice for me.  She dressed very well compared to these other women, who were also coming from wealth, in that she still suited up every day.  Criticism of what she wore and pretty much anything she did was so prevalent, I doubt there was anything she could do right.  They despised her - her type - right away and it went downhill from there.
She had money, money she earned and put aside, as well as money from her husband's estate, enough to live elsewhere and she made that choice, and I felt sad for her that these other women were so unfair to her and hoped the next exclusive senior building she went to had kinder people.  She struck me as the most intelligent woman among them.

I also learned during my visits there that a lot of these women were still supporting some or all of their children and that many of them had been generous to their children but rarely got visits...  That reinforced for me that no person should be motivated to have children based on the idea that these children will "take care" of them in old age.

I WONDER IF THE RESENTMENT THAT TRADITIONAL STAY AT HOME MOTHERS OF THAT GENERATION FEEL IS WORSE than generations following when women overall have had more choices.

(First published October 13, 2012)

 

WHAT'S "WRONG" WITH YOU THAT YOU DON'T HAVE CHILDREN? NOTHING!

 WHAT'S "WRONG" WITH YOU THAT YOU DON'T HAVE CHILDREN?  NOTHING!

What's WRONG?  What's wrong is all those people who think that by PESTERING YOU, INVADING YOUR PRIVACY, and otherwise being RUDE or IGNORANT, think they deserve an answer to such a question?  But we know that most of them won't take "NONE OF YOUR (DAMN) BUSINESS" as an answer.  So we have to come up with an answer that is satisfying.  I know some of you take pride in not stooping to someone elses level, but when they aim to hurt, aim right for your sensitivities, do they really deserve to be treated with respect they won't give you?

First tactic.  Turn the question around!

 "What's wrong with you that... you have children?  You have many children (that you can't afford to give them a decent life)?  What's wrong with you that you not wait until you were married when you could not afford children / give them what they deserve / provide a family for them?"  "What's wrong with you that you did not use contraception when there are so many options these days?"

"What's wrong with you for asking? " 

"Do you lack social skills?"

"Do you need a personality transplant?"

You get the idea.  I would love to hear some real life RETORTS!

(First published May 21, 2011) 

DO NEVER MARRIED SINGLE WOMEN Attract Men FOR THE WRONG REASON ?

DO NEVER MARRIED SINGLE WOMEN Attract Men FOR THE WRONG REASON ?

One of my friends recently suggested to me that the great number of men who have been coming on to me - in various ways - over the last year and a half are doing so because word is out that I'm NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS! You see, she thinks I'm THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE YET. One of these men posed as my friend for months. One day he told me "All the guys figure that one day you are going to give in. Someone is going to get you. They figure they may as well try." Actually, that worried me. A competition for me? I suppose if a woman wants to be married she might find a way to exploit the competition. But I've never been that way and I don't trust people who only want you because it seems everyone does. Are there any men out there who would like to comment on this? 

Sister

(First published November 2, 2009)

LISA SMITH BRAVELY ADMITS SHE HATES SEX AND WANTS A HETERO RELATIONSHIP

 LISA SMITH BRAVELY ADMITS SHE HATES SEX AND WANTS A HETERO RELATIONSHIP

LISA SMITH ASEXUAL AND LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP  DAILY MAIL ARTICLE includes interview and video.

" After trying everything in the bedroom to rid her of her disgust for the act she still felt repulsed."

(First published March 22, 2013)

DID YOU STAY HOME ALONE FOR THANKSGIVING RATHER THAN DEAL WITH THE RELATIVES? WHAT ABOUT CHRISTMAS?

 DID YOU STAY HOME ALONE FOR THANKSGIVING RATHER THAN DEAL WITH THE RELATIVES? WHAT ABOUT CHRISTMAS?

Well friends, I did!  I got my turkey a week early and decided to thaw out and cook it the next day.  I stuck it in a crock pot and hours later I had a meal and a lot of left overs.  I remember the days when Turkey was only for holidays but now, due to low fat diets, more of us are eating it regularly.  Not as special.

Also not as special.  Going out shopping on Thanksgiving!  Is NOTHING sacred?

Not me.  There was not a chance in hell that I was going to do Thanksgiving as greed and materialism and Black Friday as more greed and materialism.  I know there were deals out there but in my town people were camping out in store parking lots over night to beat other consumers.

I went to the local library the day before and came home with a dozen DVD's.  Some films I wanted to watch, others to take a chance with, including documentaries.  Then, as I watched these over a FOUR DAY SELF IMPOSED HOLIDAY, I did some hand sewing. 

Over my holiday I took my doggie for a long walk and bathed her.  I started to read a really interesting book called YOUR DOG IS YOUR MIRROR, just out, that tells us that dogs are living in the moment and emotionally at all times. (Enough of this dog training via the dominance model!)

Actually I had a long list of things I hoped to accomplish, but hey, washing the windows and hanging new draperies I'd made by myself was fulfilling, and I can put the Halloween decorations away another time.

At no time did I feel sorry for myself or lonely!

In fact, I turned down an invitation to go to a friend's family for Thanksgiving.  My friend is always complaining about all the family members who would be there, so I saw no reason why I needed to meet these people who cause her so many issues all year.  I'm sure she meant well, but I preferred my own company.

Now the Christmas Holidays are upon us.  I plan to craft a very few personal gifts to give at year's end, along with a LOT OF THANKS for those people I really do appreciate. To me even Christmas is OPTIONAL when it comes to being social.  It's great to be able to do as I like rather than be socially obligated!

Sister

(First published November 26, 2012)

SPINSTERS WALTZ performed by EVAN LURIE

SPINSTERS WALTZ performed by EVAN LURIE

DEBBIE HARRY and FRANZ FERDINAND - LIVE ALONE

DEBBIE HARRY and FRANZ FERDINAND - LIVE ALONE

 

(First published August 29, 2012)

SUSAN JACOBY 'S NEVER SAY DIE TELLS THE TRUTH ABOUT BEING OLD ALONE BROKE and ILL : NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS BOOK REVIEW

SUSAN JACOBY 'S  NEVER SAY DIE TELLS THE TRUTH ABOUT BEING OLD ALONE BROKE and ILL

Linking to a YouTube video  (sorry but the video expired so I took it down Nov 2 2023) in which author Susan Jacoby explains her viewpoint. Will our old age be so different than that of our parents or grandparents? New Agism has taken over. Just read a devastating book, written by a secular humanist Susan Jacoby, who looks at the facts not the spin on old age. NEVER SAY DIE, THE MYTH AND MARKETING of THE NEW OLD AGE, put out by Pantheon Books this year, looks at issues like Baby Boomer finances (especially severe for old women), Alzheimer's, and other issues that the people promoting 80 as the new 50 don't want you to try on. While reading this book I was thinking of the recession we're in and the fact that many women never have the kind of employers who provide retirements. So many are already hurting, already working hard and unable to save. I was thinking that fear of being alone and broke in old age IS STILL NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO HAVE CHILDREN TO TAKE CARE OF YOU IN OLD AGE . In visiting seniors living in retirement homes, board and cares, and nursing homes, I already know that many of those who had children - and grandchildren - still do not get the visits they need. I notice those ads that have vital active and young looking grey haired seniors enjoying their retirement years. They rarely seem to show real residents, people with walkers and wheel chairs. This book is not light summer reading, but it is reading that will make you think and activate. '

Sister

(First published  August 30, 2011)

C 2011 - 2023 Never Married No Kids - BlogSpot 

LINDA RONSTADT AND DOLLY PARTON : I NEVER WILL MARRY

LINDA RONSTADT AND DOLLY PARTON : I NEVER WILL MARRY

  ... "I expect to live single all the days of my life..."

(First published December 2, 2012)

SOUL MATE : A FILM BY ANDREA WILEY : A DOCUMENTARY FILM ABOUT BLACK SINGLE WOMEN IN THE UNITED STATES

SOUL MATE: A DOCUMENTARY FILM ABOUT BLACK SINGLE WOMEN IN THE UNITED STATES

SOUL MATE a film by Andrea Wiley is C 2006 Clean Heart Production 

Review by Sister - NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS 

This is a documentary that focuses on successful, independent, beautiful, and Christian African American women, 40ish, who have never married and, listening to them speak, never had children. According to the stats which must have been from the 2000 U.S. census, 42.3% of Black women had never been married. Worse, and this is not according to the U.S. census, Black women are contracting HIV/AIDS from Black men on the low down (that means these men are also having sex with men, though they may be macho and not stereotypical or recognizable as gay), and bringing this home to their wives - a tragedy. First, the women in this film are exceptionally accomplished and well spoken about their thoughts and feelings about their lives. I don't know that they represent average African- American women. It's more like "if these women can't find husbands then who can?" One of the women who speaks is a Christian minister with a growing following while two of the men who speak are also Christian ministers. There is some take about "BC" as in Before Christian. Implied is that these women (and men) have taken a vow of celibacy until they are married. This is a vow to God and there is hope in these women that God will find them a husband or that they can accept His Will that they not be chosen for this role. Some are brave about their future. One breaks into tears of loneliness. Considering that so many African-American children are born outside marriage and don't have much fatherly presence in their lives, these women are holding out for a spiritual tradition and lifestyle that is less common than is being played out in the African-American communities where babies mamas and babies daddy are being played out. The African- American women I've met through the years expressed to me great frustration with African -American men, but also seemed to have a less entitled attitude than most Caucasian-American women I've met. I felt sorry for them because they seemed to have much less selection than Caucasian- American women. This is in part to the fact that African-American men marry Caucasian-American women at a rate five times higher than African-American women marry Caucasian-American men. This film also has a little bit about how slavery destroyed African-American families. However, personally, 150 years (a few generations from slavery) I think this has become an excuse. Many ethnic groups have had terrible struggles, for instance the Jewish-Americans who came as refugees due to the Holocaust, and simply, there has been time for African-Americans to address these issues in their culture. Coming from a heritage where poverty was no excuse for bad behavior of any sort, and certainly not for having children outside marriage, I think of this as a cultural problem that must be addressed within that culture. What I've heard about and observed is, sadly, African-American men taking full advantage of their rarity to exploit women who are desperate for them. I'm aware that telling a woman to hold out for a better sort of man in her life is telling her to remain celibate, single, and possibly childless. I personally think this is a better life than being married to Mr. Wrong or finding out you've been sharing a cheater with other women. The quality of this film was excellent. Watch it. You might have a different opinion!

(First published September 4, 2012)

Never Married No Kids - An Intentional Community,NMNK lifestyle,Andrea Wiley,United States of America,Sister Speaks,Black Woman,Never Married Women,Christianity,celibacy,

TO MY NMNK READERS AROUND THE WORLD : WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE NMNK IN YOUR CULTURE?

TO MY NMNK READERS AROUND THE WORLD : WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE NMNK IN YOUR CULTURE?

I was looking at my readership which Google Blogger provides free in Statistics. I noticed that readers have been checking in from around the world. I would like to hear from some of you about what it's like to be NMNK in your country and culture. 

I have readers from the English speaking countries of US, UK, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand. English speaking countries tend to have the most modern western "liberal" attitudes. I also have readers from Germany, Russia, Sweden and Denmark : MY GUESS IS THAT IN THESE COUNTRIES THERE IS NOT SO MUCH PRESSURE TO MARRY AND HAVE CHILDREN, especially not while still in your twenties. 

Of these it is most difficult to get contraception in Russia. In the west we hear Russians are having many painful abortions because contraception is not so easily available and that even the diaphragm is not to western standards and painful to use for the woman. I also have readers who I suspect are having a more difficult time living the life they choose. These readers are in Ireland, Serbia, and Romania, where the difficulties of obtaining contraception and attitudes against abortion would make celibacy the only way to surely avoid pregnancy until married. Even more difficult, I suspect, is being NMNK in the countries of South Korea, Philippines, India, and Indonesia where some of my readers also read NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS on the Internet. 

My western understanding of the attitudes in these countries, especially towards women who remain unmarried (and are not in convents, nunneries, or monasteries) is that they face hostility. I've installed the latest GOOGLE TRANSLATOR to help you read this blog. If you want to leave a comment in your language, I will try to translate it also! 

Sister

(First published on May 21 2012) 

 

CHILDFREE MUSEUM DAY - PLEASE!

CHILDFREE MUSEUM DAY - PLEASE!

This past weekend I went with a friend to a Natural History Museum. We paid twelve dollars each to get into the museum - less than a movie but not nothing. I hadn't been to a Natural History Museum in years and this one boasted a newly configured dinosaur exhibit. In order to control the numbers of people going through the exhibit, the Museum was controlling how many people could enter every hour with a special ticket. I wish instead they had staged a CHILDFREE MUSEUM DAY! The entire afternoon in the museum was a disaster! There were many small screens - computers and projections - with speakers on. But we couldn't HEAR any of them because of all the shrieking children. I got hit into three times by kids who were running around and not paying any attention, once hard enough to leave a bruise. And their rotten parents were not controlling them or disciplining them. Where were the security guards to put an end to this insanity? Yes, I think a CHILDFREE MUSEUM DAY is a great idea! Once a week, adults should be able to go to a museum and proceed quietly and with dignity. 

Sister

(First published September 6, 2011)

 

ARE YOUR PETS YOUR FAMILY OF CHOICE?

ARE YOUR PETS YOUR FAMILY OF CHOICE?

Recently I became aware of all the dog and cat rescue groups that are trying to find homes for pets who have been abandoned or picked up by the dog catcher. 

I toured a couple facilities in two different towns near me, both which were running "sales." I noticed that one shelter's web site had over 300 animals at any one time. I went there and saw maybe 50 dogs, mostly Pit Bulls and Chihuahuas. Although Pit Bulls have a bad rap, one of the Pit Bulls I saw was beautiful, healthy, expertly trained, and gentle - enough to sit with a baby. It was only two years old. But it had no collar, tags, or microchip on it, so it was listed by the street it had been picked up on. Why had no one come to pick it up? Well, the shelter employee I spoke with said something like "I've been here ten years and most of the time owners do not come in to pick up their pets, even when they are licensed and micro-chipped." 

The reason may not just be economics. Right now a lot of people are loosing homes - and backyard. People are becoming homeless. It costs to pick up your animal. Just like a car that's been impounded the fines ad up. Maybe the owner knows the dog has medical issues that will cost them. For some people getting a new animal may be less expensive. 

I think also that people are offended when a pet runs away from them, though many simply ran because they were startled by a loud sound - an earthquake, fireworks, a truck backfiring. 

(First published August 5 2012)

RUDE !

 RUDE !

Can you believe that some guy came up to me at a party and said "Are you queer? That you never married or had children? What's wrong with you?" HE WAS TOO IGNORANT TO EVEN RESPOND TO! But it stung because everyone looked my way...

(First published  October 7, 2009)

 

ALL THOSE DATING BOOKS ARE WORTHLESS TO THOSE WHO HATE DATING

ALL THOSE DATING BOOKS ARE WORTHLESS TO THOSE WHO HATE DATING

Those who are not interested in being married are sometimes not even interested in DATING.

There are so many books on the shelves of bookstores and libraries these days that are intended to help you get partnered.

Those of us who are taking a vacation from dating, for now or for life, find reading these books to be a bit amusing.

That's right! AMUSING!

We are thought of as rather without heart (though we can put love into our work, our volunteerism, our hobbies and sports, our friends and family.

I'm going to tell you one of my PET PEEVES. I can't stand it when people try to "make family" as if they need to prove they are not really unmarried or childless, by having their dogs and cats and other pets stand in as children. You see this often on the back flap of a book by certain authors. Never mind that this person has authored and published a book which is an accomplishment in itself. Their bio reads "She lives in Maine with her dog." Please! Stop the apologies already!

If the fact that the world is overpopulated, and that so many children are brought into this world by biological parents who think love is enough (and many don't even have that!) and that you may have been lucky or responsible enough NOT TO BE ONE MORE SINGLE MOTHER WITH A "BABIES PAPA" what is it going to take for you to stop apologizing for not being a breeder?

Sister

(First posted February 25, 2012)

 

BEING YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND...

 BEING YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND...

Have you ever had that terrible feeling at a wedding that you need to leave before the bride throws the bouquet - at you? (Men may feel this way about the garter being thrown at them!) It's happened to me. I was on my way out when the bride yelled my name and threw! How embarrassing. Especially because I had told this friend more than once that I had NO INTEREST IN GETTING MARRIED. Everyone in the place looked to find me! I suppose it's just silliness but for some it's superstition! And for some it's one of the many pagan - fertility enhancing - mini-rituals in the Western wedding tradition, along with throwing rice, confetti, popcorn, or bird seed at the bride and groom so they will soon be pregnant. In an overpopulated world fertility rituals should be the personal endeaver of the proven infertile. (Instead we should have a ritual that will prevent conception until we are ready to be parents.) 

Sister

(First posted October 21, 2011)

 

SOLOGAMY

 

ARE FAMILY MEMBERS USING YOUR NMNK LIFE AS A CAUTIONARY TALE TO YOUNGER FAMILY MEMBERS?

 ARE FAMILY MEMBERS USING YOUR NMNK LIFE AS A CAUTIONARY TALE TO YOUNGER FAMILY MEMBERS?

Have you ever had the experience of overhearing or otherwise finding out that certain family members are using you and your NMNK lifestyle as an example to others - maybe their children - of what not to be?

I've had this experience.  While I want to respect that other people choose marriage and/or children, I have never had the same respect - mutual respect - and that can make me feel defensive.

I HAVE BEEN SHOCKED BY THE WAY CERTAIN WOMEN DEMAND THEIR CHILDREN GIVE THEM GRANDCHILDREN!

(First posted October 20, 2012)

Note:  When the family you are related to through genetics does not approve of you simply because you are not marriage prone or have no children, sometimes it's best to separate from them and have a Family of Friends or a Family of Choice instead.

70 YEAR OLD VIRGIN AND CABARET SINGER PAM SHAW THINKS SHE'D LIKE TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE

 70 YEAR OLD VIRGIN AND CABARET SINGER PAM SHAW THINKS SHE'D LIKE TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE

What a fun article and a fun lady! Pam Shaw has been busy with her sexy cabaret act but is (still) a virgin! Pam Shaw was always too busy with her cabaret singing career to find herself a man. And, as she is against sex before marriage, a casual fling was out of the question.It's all a world away from her onstage person as The Sexational Pam, with her daring outfits having turned many a head during her years on Britain's club circuit.But, as she told the Sun, she's not looking for just any old man. She said:'Now's the time. I'm ready to take the plunge for the right bloke. 'My standards are still very high, though. I'm hoping to bag a tall, dark and handsome millionaire..." 

HUFFINGTONPOST UK 70 YEAR OLD VIRGIN PAM SHAW

(First posted May 11, 2012)

CYNDI LAUPER : GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN

CYNDI LAUPER : GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN

PLATONIC MALE FRIEND PROVES TO BE SELECTIVELY DEAF! : SISTER SPEAKS!

 PLATONIC MALE FRIEND PROVES TO BE SELECTIVELY DEAF

SELECTIVELY DEAF!  That's what I call my platonic friend who just recently landed a bouquet of flowers on me (secretly; no one seems to know how they got there) with a card that called me his "princess" and his "dream."  and was signed "your secret admirer."  When I made no reaction (at that point not sure who or where they came from!) he went and asked me if I had gotten them.  He turned pink. 

I said "Thank you, but that was really not necessary."  He asked "Well, who else would have sent them?" (The truth is there must be at least a half dozen men here and there who make passes at me or suggest that they would be interested in me and I could think of 5 men who might have.) My friend was on a "fishing expedition". 

HE ONCE SAID "When I woman doesn't talk about a boyfriend I figure she doesn't have one.  And I had said, "I don't talk a lot about boyfriends. Then I said that I had been dating someone for a year before I had mentioned this to anyone in our social group and first met him and I saw no reason to detail my encounters or my feelings. 

I don't have anything against getting a bouquet of flowers (you can tell that from my Meez avatar above!) but I DO HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST A MAN WHO APPARENTLY HAS NOT HEARD ME WHEN I HAVE SAID in recent times that I AM CELIBATE, THAT I AM NOT INTERESTED IN GETTING MARRIED, THAT I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A BOYFRIEND... When I have complained about one man or another looking for unwarranted hugs or a neighbor trying to practice foot massage therapy on me. When I have said that I would not want to live with or marry another person in our same profession...

It's true this man and I have long discussions about various intellectual subjects, but he drives me a little crazy because he's professorial and one of those people who thinks interrupting a discussion to correct pronunciation isn't unkind. He's interesting on his subjects but a bit of a know it all. I can only take so much of him and I don't confuse all this with a relationship developing more sexually. It's also true that I told him about the (above mentioned) relationship when it was well over, explaining to him that it had become long distance and thus unworkable but that this person still occupied my heart. I was not sure what would happen if he moved back to town.

JUST TO MAKE THE BOUQUET EVEN MORE EVIDENT OF SELECTIVE DEAFNESS, he had said that he could not imagine being with a woman who was not a devout Christian, which I am not.  So, of course, I thought he was declaring us incompatible on that basis.

I thought we were hanging out KNOWING that platonic friendship was the only possibility for us.

NOW I FEEL THAT TO EVEN TAKE HIS CALLS or GO ANYWHERE WITH HIM will be leading him on, since I have no interest or intention of taking this once upon a time friendship to another level!  

CAN YOU RELATE?

Sister

(First Published September 11, 2010)

C 2010  Never Married No Kids - BlogSpot

 

ASEXUALITY : A HOT TOPIC : HOW IT'S DIFFERENT FROM CELIBACY ?

ASEXUALITY : A HOT TOPIC : HOW IT'S DIFFERENT FROM CELIBACY ?

I get a whole lot of hits on my post about ASEXUAL CELEBRITIES. A person who is asexual feels as though they are devoid of sexual motivation or sexual nature. They may be a very loving person, a sensual person, but they just don't get into sex. They can love deeply but see no need or have little to no interest in taking that love into the physical. This is the perfect way to be if you're a person who is spiritually based and participating in religious life that requires celibacy. A person may be asexual for a while or for life. They may be married and have children but no longer be interested. CELIBACY is not participating in sexual contact with other people as a chosen lifestyle, at least temporarily (the sexual fast after a break up and before another involvement for instance.) The person might like sex, even love sex, but feel that for now it's time out. While many asexuals are celibate, many celibates struggle with attractions, despite their decisions. I think the difference is motivation or attitudes. NMNK is a blog for everyone who is NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS, and being asexual or celibate are two possible ways to be NMNK.

(First published June 12, 2012)

DAISY WREATH