SUSAN JACOBY 'S NEVER SAY DIE TELLS THE TRUTH ABOUT BEING OLD ALONE BROKE and ILL : NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS BOOK REVIEW

SUSAN JACOBY 'S  NEVER SAY DIE TELLS THE TRUTH ABOUT BEING OLD ALONE BROKE and ILL

Linking to a YouTube video  (sorry but the video expired so I took it down Nov 2 2023) in which author Susan Jacoby explains her viewpoint. Will our old age be so different than that of our parents or grandparents? New Agism has taken over. Just read a devastating book, written by a secular humanist Susan Jacoby, who looks at the facts not the spin on old age. NEVER SAY DIE, THE MYTH AND MARKETING of THE NEW OLD AGE, put out by Pantheon Books this year, looks at issues like Baby Boomer finances (especially severe for old women), Alzheimer's, and other issues that the people promoting 80 as the new 50 don't want you to try on. While reading this book I was thinking of the recession we're in and the fact that many women never have the kind of employers who provide retirements. So many are already hurting, already working hard and unable to save. I was thinking that fear of being alone and broke in old age IS STILL NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO HAVE CHILDREN TO TAKE CARE OF YOU IN OLD AGE . In visiting seniors living in retirement homes, board and cares, and nursing homes, I already know that many of those who had children - and grandchildren - still do not get the visits they need. I notice those ads that have vital active and young looking grey haired seniors enjoying their retirement years. They rarely seem to show real residents, people with walkers and wheel chairs. This book is not light summer reading, but it is reading that will make you think and activate. '

Sister

(First published  August 30, 2011)

C 2011 - 2023 Never Married No Kids - BlogSpot 

AT LAST! NO MORE PRINCES WILL COME FOR HER!

I made a new friend over the last few months, a woman who was in her 50's when she met the only man she has ever loved.  He died a couple years ago and she became very depressed.  He died after suggesting to her that she quit her job so they could be together and hang out.  He was retired.  She was in love and she wanted nothing more then to spend time with him.  When he died, it turned out that he had not favored her in his will.  His sister and her children came and put her out of the house she shared with him and even took the car she'd been driving away.  She was left with so little she was almost homeless.  Why he didn't take care of her is not certain.  Maybe he meant to.  But he did not.  She says she never asked what his plans were.
I'm sure certain people think she's been a fool.  The main thing is that she has no career and at 65 needs retraining.  She pays her rent and has little left for food.  A brother sends her what money he can.  She is a nice woman.  And she says she will never ever again be with another man.  There was no one like this man for her.

Because she's in poverty some of her other friends have suggested another man to take his place is what she really should do.  But no more Princes will come for her and she's not looking.

Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?

One of the main reasons marriage is considered a good idea is because it is still seen as financial protection for a spouse.  I tend to think that is true. This is why gay people have fought for the right to marry.

I respect that this woman is going for the retraining.
She's going to do a two year certificate at the community college.
Maybe a job will come out of it, maybe not

Sister

STILL UNMARRIED (and SANE) AFTER ALL THESE YEARS

Here between Christmas, New Years, and ... upcoming... Valentine's Day, I'm still unmarried after all these years.  This morning, learning from a senior citizen cousin that a widower in town has expressed the wrong kind of interest in me, I heard myself saying to her, "I'm convinced I was not fated to have a partner in his life."


That is true.
It's also true that I have done near nothing to find a husband or partner.


Valentine's Day is such as wistful holiday.
And I think that all these holidays, but most especially Valentine's Day is when NMNK are made to feel wrong to be alone - but not lonely!


If you are really truly lonely and do not esteem your own company, or the company of your relations, friends, coworkers, and strangers you meet here, there, and everywhere, then you will likely do something about it.

After all there are plentiful socializing networking opportunities on this Internet, if the local book club isn't doing it for you.


My senior citizen cousin is married over 50 years now, and though she met a few jerks before she married, this was all before the age of 21.  These days her 18 year old grand-daughter wants to marry her boyfriend and she is howling at her not to because she is too young.


I stay out of it, but I think love is love and that this 18 year old and her boyfriend do love each other.  Who am I to say that based on being too young she should give him up and get busy with education and a career instead?

TAYLOR SWIFT : GET OFF HER BACK ALREADY!

GET OFF TAYLOR SWIFT's BACK ALREADY!

Over the last few months I've been increasingly sensitized by the way that media - mostly magazines and tabloids - have been closely following the young singer-songwriter Taylor Swift's love life.  One article after another has put her on the spot about her love life, why she does or doesn't have a steady boyfriend, or is not heading towards (early) marriage and/or children.  It's almost as if they want her to explain or apologize.  Things got worse when she ended or he ended the relationship with a Kennedy. 

So many young women feel this pressure when they are decidedly career oriented or feel that marriage and children are commitments and responsibilities that they wish to delay or avoid all together.  In Taylor Swift's case THIS IS THE SAD SIDE OF FAME.

What's wrong with not being heavily invested in getting married?  Certainly Taylor is not the first or last young woman who wants to date for fun, or date for self-knowledge, rather than to date for marriage.

The hounding by the media of this extremely creative, capable, talented, possibly musical genius, as well as gorgeous woman, makes me sick.

Of course some of the problem here is not journalists desperate to make a story.  It's also the psychologists desperate to propagate their profession, pathologizing the choice to be NMNK - even when someone is only in their early 20's.

There is always some psychologist or MFCC who wants to appear to be the expert on record who takes a public jab at someone they will never see in their office, and if they did THEN THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE CONFIDENTIAL ISN'T IT!?

Meanwhile, look who went ahead and bred a couple children - and wants more - even though she is mentally ill, does not have a stable relationship or marriage, and is in fact under someone else's custody...and is no stay at home mom to raise them.

You know who I mean. 

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