SOUL MATE : A FILM BY ANDREA WILEY : A DOCUMENTARY FILM ABOUT BLACK SINGLE WOMEN IN THE UNITED STATES

SOUL MATE: A DOCUMENTARY FILM ABOUT BLACK SINGLE WOMEN IN THE UNITED STATES

SOUL MATE a film by Andrea Wiley is C 2006 Clean Heart Production 

Review by Sister - NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS 

This is a documentary that focuses on successful, independent, beautiful, and Christian African American women, 40ish, who have never married and, listening to them speak, never had children. According to the stats which must have been from the 2000 U.S. census, 42.3% of Black women had never been married. Worse, and this is not according to the U.S. census, Black women are contracting HIV/AIDS from Black men on the low down (that means these men are also having sex with men, though they may be macho and not stereotypical or recognizable as gay), and bringing this home to their wives - a tragedy. First, the women in this film are exceptionally accomplished and well spoken about their thoughts and feelings about their lives. I don't know that they represent average African- American women. It's more like "if these women can't find husbands then who can?" One of the women who speaks is a Christian minister with a growing following while two of the men who speak are also Christian ministers. There is some take about "BC" as in Before Christian. Implied is that these women (and men) have taken a vow of celibacy until they are married. This is a vow to God and there is hope in these women that God will find them a husband or that they can accept His Will that they not be chosen for this role. Some are brave about their future. One breaks into tears of loneliness. Considering that so many African-American children are born outside marriage and don't have much fatherly presence in their lives, these women are holding out for a spiritual tradition and lifestyle that is less common than is being played out in the African-American communities where babies mamas and babies daddy are being played out. The African- American women I've met through the years expressed to me great frustration with African -American men, but also seemed to have a less entitled attitude than most Caucasian-American women I've met. I felt sorry for them because they seemed to have much less selection than Caucasian- American women. This is in part to the fact that African-American men marry Caucasian-American women at a rate five times higher than African-American women marry Caucasian-American men. This film also has a little bit about how slavery destroyed African-American families. However, personally, 150 years (a few generations from slavery) I think this has become an excuse. Many ethnic groups have had terrible struggles, for instance the Jewish-Americans who came as refugees due to the Holocaust, and simply, there has been time for African-Americans to address these issues in their culture. Coming from a heritage where poverty was no excuse for bad behavior of any sort, and certainly not for having children outside marriage, I think of this as a cultural problem that must be addressed within that culture. What I've heard about and observed is, sadly, African-American men taking full advantage of their rarity to exploit women who are desperate for them. I'm aware that telling a woman to hold out for a better sort of man in her life is telling her to remain celibate, single, and possibly childless. I personally think this is a better life than being married to Mr. Wrong or finding out you've been sharing a cheater with other women. The quality of this film was excellent. Watch it. You might have a different opinion!

(First published September 4, 2012)

Never Married No Kids - An Intentional Community,NMNK lifestyle,Andrea Wiley,United States of America,Sister Speaks,Black Woman,Never Married Women,Christianity,celibacy,

NMNK CAN HAVE IMPACT ON VOTES FOR CHILDREN - SCHOOL BOARDS - COVID REMODELING - ETC.

I'll admit it.  Since I'm NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS - Childless by Choice - though I don't think too many women can chose to be single mothers responsibly - I know very little about schools in my city. 

I've never had to move to be in a better school district. I've never had to negotiate the private versus public versus charter schools dilemma.  I've never had to personally worry about the quality of education any child of mine might have.  I've never had to have a child tested for learning disabilities.  Or wonder how they might make it physically to a school. Or if they got along with their school peers. I never had to be part of a carpool to get children to events or sports. I can't imagine how frazzled I'd be having all this to deal with on top of everything I already deal with.

However, there's a perception out there that NMNK do not like or care about children.  Some don't but few people live a totally child-free existence.  If you're the member of a family, likely someone has children.  You may be an honorary aunt or uncle. And you may still care about children because they are the next generation.

There are so many child and school related issues to vote about, I urge you to study them.  Decisions such as who to vote for on a school board - ask a teacher or parents in your neighborhood what they think.  Funding for Covid rehab projects: I guess we can't afford not to go into debt over this.

The children in my neighborhood are all seemingly moping around.  Heck, I've been moping around too. They have had months of no school.  Some parents have been able to home school.  Others are not home or not qualified. You can ride your bike alone for only so long without wanting other kids to ride along with. You can skip birthday parties or be part of a car caravan - but hey, it's getting B O R I N G and there is worry in the air.  Will a generation be far behind in school?  In 18 years will colleges have trouble attracting enough students, if they are still in existence.

Already the rate of births is way down.  People who want children but are facing economic uncertainty are waiting to purposely have children.  This is noble of them.

Children really do need a whole lot.

Sister

ALL ABOUT ABORTION - THIS SITE DOES NOT MAKE YOU GUILT TRIP

Here's a link to a site that is clearly pro-abortion with lots of links that include testimonials.  Growing up in a time when most parents did not discuss contraception with their children I witnessed many of my classmates have babies and mostly give them up because they had no easy contraception options.  Then in my twenties I began to meet women who had abortions and I'll be honest, most of them WERE EMOTIONALLY UPSET about it at some point.  Still, unless you are really willing to go through a pregnancy and give the baby up for adoption, you must ask yourself if you are in a place in life where you can raise a child; do you have the wealth and the health? 

AND NO, LEAVING THE CHILD TO BE RAISED BY GRANDPARENTS ... THAT IS NOT FAIR TO THEM!

Sister

ABORTION RIGHTS : PLANNED PARENTHOOD

Want to know the latest about your right to abortion?  How about checking out this site by PLANNED PARENTHOOD ?

CAVEMAN DAVE DIES IN IDAHO

Here's an interesting article from Idahostatesman.com about a fellow who lived in a cave and had no regrets. Oh he did get married once... but we'll include him in with us as we learn more about hermits!

MORE WOMEN 40-44 remaining CHILDLESS

Here's a 2008 U.S. Today article on the stats of childless women in their early 40's. Let's face it. Just because it's news that some wealthy actress has gone ahead and adopted a child or had a child later in the usual fertility range without a husband doesn't mean anyone without wealth should follow in her footsteps. Do you really have the right to expect family and friends to compensate for your inability to provide child care? When you work a regular job or have a career you have little to no time for also raising children.

ABORTION IN DEMAND as UNITED STATES ECONOMY COLLAPSES

Reading in the news lately, Planned Parenthood and other clinics that provide contraception and abortion health services are getting a huge number of calls as women who used to have private health insurance require exams and contraception or turn to abortion because they can't imagine being able to afford a child.

To me this news is also about the economic aspect of having children which takes maturity and sophistication to understand and accept. While the economic crisis continues to put pressure on us, many women (and men) are coming to grips with the fact that bearing and raising a child to maturity is expensive.

No, Sister here is not for any government enforcement of the use of contraception or abortion as they do in c Communist China! However, more people I talk to are are getting irate about the fact that they feel overtaxed to support and raise the children of people who have as many children as God sends them while they can't afford their own.

In truth, if the only people who had children were the ones who would be guaranteed to want them, love them, and be able to afford them the population of the earth would plummet.

Sister

FOURTH OF JULY

THE BEST THING

ABOUT THE UNITED STATES

IS OUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH!