Showing posts with label contraception. Show all posts
Showing posts with label contraception. Show all posts

9/9/23

POPULATION SERVICES INTERNATIONAL

 POPULATION SERVICES INTERNATIONAL



Linking here to Population Services International, the organization that Ashley Judd works for and writes about so vividly in her new book, just out, called ALL THAT IS BITTER AND SWEET. 
Some people feel that we should be concentrating on the problems of our own country when we are in such deep doo-doo economically, and perhaps on our way to being a 3rd world country, others that spending billions to help other people in other countries out of desperate poverty; this book is also about children and women held as sex slaves (she uses the term enslaved prostitutes throughout) DO YOU DO VOLUNTEER?



7/13/22

IT USED TO BE NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTROL YOUR FERTILITY

Many women died in childbirth or after giving birth. While no contraception is 100% reliable, especially because human beings aren't reliable, THE FIRST THING WE SHOULD BE DOING IS PRACTICING SAFER SEX. But even if you are sure of your sex partner, and they of you, unless you are ready, willing, and able to bring a child into this world, raise it and support that child to maturity, using CONTRACEPTION is the way to go. DOUBLING UP ON METHODS can increase your chances of successfully preventing pregnancy and abortion. This means using condoms along with another method.  It requires the cooperation of both partners.

2/4/19

THE "IN LABOR" ABORTION CONTROVERSY

I'm Pro-Choice.
Pro-Choice means everyone gets to choose for themselves.
Being Pro-Choice isn't the same as being Pro-Abortion.
You can be Pro-Choice without ever wanting to have an Abortion yourself.
Being Pro-Choice means that you understand that other people have different values.

Since this blog is about NMNK - Never Married No Kids people, contraception and abortion is a fair topic.  Because if you're a sexual woman, there's always a chance that your contraception will fail, or that you will be raped some time when you are not using contraception.  And then you have the choice to have an abortion.

I met a young woman recently who was very responsible at 18, both on the pill, and using protection,
She was raped by a stranger and has PTSD.
If she got pregnant by rape and wanted an abortion, an early abortion, I could understand that.

Women should not be punished by pregnancy.

At the same time, I must admit to you, third term abortions are already legal in many places, so long as you can find a doctor willing and afford it.  I know someone who did this, at about 7 months.  She'd been having an affair.  She was close to 40.  The man she was having an affair with was blond.  She and her husband black haired.  I accepted her choice.  From what I was told later, her extremely expensive (wiped out their life savings) legal third term abortion was carried out without anesthetic in a high rise building office.  She got the doctor's name from a clinic that does only first term abortions.

Still, I must admit that the thought of aborting a viable fetus, a fetus that is called a baby once outside the body of the mother, that can live and breath on it's own and is not likely disabled in any way, is upsetting to me.  Because there have been all those months before to make a decision and do something about it.

In actuality I think few women ready to give birth would opt to have their fetus aborted.  And few doctors are willing to do so, especially not openly.

Listening to discussions on this issue over the weekend on radio stations that are conservatively biased, I must admit also that I think the law is a prescient for other changes that we as a society would not like.

For instance, what about the pressure put on someone without resources to have an abortion.  This pressure can be put on a woman by a governmental agency, such as a welfare agency social worker through disapproval.

Though it is my choice to be a NMNK person, I realize that most people do not idealize this option.

I've met the women who were shamed and embarrassed by abortion clinic personnel because they could not come up with the money for their abortion early on.  In fact, my friend who had her 3rd term abortion many years ago had no way to get the money for an earlier abortion.  The financing is what sometimes makes women wait.  I said that she used her and her husband's life savings to pay for the third term abortion.  She needed to get him on her side for this and he did.  He never spoke about it with her again.

She didn't tell him she was having an affair.
She said she had not suspected she was pregnant and thought she was going into menopause.
She said she was worn out from caring for their difficult child already and felt too old to do another 20 years of childcare.
She said she had been using cocaine and other illegal drugs.
All the doctor wanted to know, off hand, was why she waited.  She lied about the cocaine and other illegal drugs to him too.

Today there are so many contraception options.
Yet it is true that many women cannot take the pill or find certain methods difficult.
So unplanned pregnancies happen.  A lot.

If you're sexual, you MUST have communication and agreement on what happens if.

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All Rights Reserved


10/11/14

CHILDREN OUT OF WEDLOCK THE NEW NORMAL? THAT'S TERRIBLE!

I recently read two articles, one at NPR, which said the percentage of black children born out of wedlock in 2013 was 70%.  Another in The Atlantic, attempted to explain.  Written by Ta-Nehisi Coastes, a man, it was called "Understanding Out of Wedlock Births in Black America."  (Please understand that white children are also being born out of wedlock in unprecedented numbers and what I have to say here is not focused on just black people.)

THE ATLANTIC ARCHIVE

I carefully read the language of this second article, and the first issue I had with it was the apology that black women are CHOOSING NOT TO MARRY.  The Black women I've known through the years were not being asked to marry even when they got pregnant.  If a relationship was not a committed one with the potential to become marriage before the pregnancy occurred, then forget this idea of choice completely.  (And yes I know one white woman who told everyone that her sperm donor had asked her to marry him but that she had decided it wasn't a relationship to make a life out of and had said no.  It was a lie.  It turned out he was married.)

What the article should have said is WOMEN ARE CHOOSING TO HAVE SEX WITHOUT PROPER CONTRACEPTION or are unwilling to use it, or are unwilling to have abortions or have a baby and put it up for adoption IN RECORD NUMBERS.  It may now be a rite of passage into adulthood that a woman gets pregnant and becomes a single mom, which is often a struggling, stressed out, mom who can't give her children the things they need and is dependent on Social Services.

I know contraception is not perfect, in particular because people are not perfect. 

Believe it or not, I've always been Pro-Choice, but I couldn't tell someone they have to have an abortion. What worries me is that so many women are living life not by CHOOSING but by NOT CHOOSING.  Everything in life "just happens" to them, or is their fate, or is God's will.

I'm also willing to go anthropologist on this and say that maybe black American culture is basically matriarchal and there isn't much expected of men in the first place, that it's a culture where the women do the child begetting and birthing and raising without the idea that a man should be involved too.  But women, what has happened to your desire to, if you really want children, date with the idea that finding a husband first?  I'm sorry but some of you just lack self esteem and are letting men off easy as they betray you.  You also have more options for contraception than ever before in the history of this planet, but don't use it.  And if you're so religious that you don't believe in contraception or abortion, what are you doing having sex without being married first then?

When a woman has, through luck, inheritance, or (most often) hard and long work, becoming educated, establishing a career, and is making very good money, and she wants to have a child on her own, if she has several persons in her life committed to helping her parent, especially if she is getting older and may soon no longer be fertile, that is a CHOOSING.  There is maturity involved and rationality and I understand it.  Some of our famous actresses, such as say Sandra Bullock, who have millions in the bank, have adopted children because they are in the position to have a trust fund in place for their child so that if they die the child will still be supported.  That's not most people.  Elton John and his partner having children using a surrogate are not most people.  They are famous and rich.  They are not to be imitated.

Going out, partying, sleeping with whomever (maybe because you think a man is owed sex in exchange for taking you out), remaining unqualified to make decent money, being poor and without resources, and just going ahead with having a baby because you say "Well I want one"  or "Everyone else is doing it" is just not good enough.

How do I know?

Well, I meet these single mothers who regard men as not much more than sperm donors  (Why aren't men protesting?) and who are raising children with the help of their mothers (who really ought to be retiring to something other than childcare after having done their own child-raising bit) everywhere.  They are in my neighborhood working, rushing back and forth to drop their child off here, there, and everywhere, but especially Day Care, looking like they are about to drop, aged ten years in five.  Some of them are bitter.  Most of them are in ongoing arguments with the sperm donor daddy, begging him to spend some time with their child.  Children are supposed to have more than one role model in their lives, and someone admirable.

Maybe another person will come into these women's lives, love them truly - and their child, provide financial support, become a real husband or partner and a real co-parent, but when the rates of no dad births go all the way up to 70% tell me, where are the Good Guys?  Or are you just making a life with a man who is not the father to your child but the father to some other women's child?  I've even met (in passing) two men who had five children each, each child with a different woman. What a tangled web of a family tree and relationships that is! (One by the way was an ex gang member of Hispanic roots.  The other Black.  They were bragging.)

I do think it is better to be NM than in a bad marriage.  But I'm NMNK.  Through my life I've made countless CHOICES to not get pregnant including celibacy, not continuing relationships that weren't going well, and using contraception.  No contraception isn't perfect.  I've met women who got pregnant using just about every contraception there is, even an IUD.  One woman even claimed a third pregnancy after having her tubes tied. I've met married women who didn't want another child who got pregnant anyway.  Still, statistics like these are not all about broken rubbers, forgotten pills, and misplaced diaphragms.  These stats are much higher than contraceptive failure rates. Some women can even have a once in three year implant that will prevent pregnancy but if you read the ads it's mentioned THIS DOES NOT PREVENT STD's.

What does? 

Using rubbers so you don't get STD's is a must unless you are PLANNING TO HAVE A BABY!  What does using rubbers entail, besides being able to afford them?  A MAN WHO USES THEM!

When a woman has a child before she is "ready" and that means relationship-wise and financially too, she puts her own future in jeopardy.

OFF THE SOAP BOX NOW!

THINK!

Sister

5/18/11

NMNK SISTER CAN'T FIGURE THE ARNOLDS OF THIS WORLD

Sister here:  I'm listening to all the breaking news about ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER (official site linked above - I note that he is NOT wearing a WEDDING RING) and asking myself WHY when he was PLAYING he didn't use contraception!  If a man who has fathered four children (and knows he's fertile) and a woman who has mothered three children (and knows she's fertile) engage in an affair, an affair which could ruin a marriage (or two), careers, etc, etc, etc, WHY WOULD THEY NOT VERY CAREFULLY and ON PURPOSE choose to PREVENT a conception? 

This is a true mystery to me!

Yes I know contraception isn't perfect.  But it's nearer perfect when  you combine methods.  Such as using condoms along with any other method.

I feel for the child who is now going to be hunted by the media!

5/14/11

ALTERNET on WOMEN WHO CHOSE STERILIZATION BEFORE THEY HAD ANY CHILDREN

You can link to a good 2006 article here about women who tied their tubes before they ever had any children, knowing they were not the mommy type.  I wonder how many men do so!  More ought to! There are just too many men who are irresponsible about their sexuality and their fertility and as a result their parental duty.

8/2/10

IS POPULATION GROWTH MONTH - POPULATION INSTITUTE LINK

POPULATION INSTITUTE link here!  This has a lot of good information and it's scary but up on the right hand top of their page you can see the population of the world increasing, a woman giving birth every... well it appears to be every second...

Welcome to the Population Institute



The Population Institute is an international non-profit that educates policymakers and the public about population, and seeks to promote universal access to family planning information, education, and services. Through voluntary family planning, we strive to achieve a world population in balance with a healthy global environment and resource base.

7/25/10

ALL ABOUT ABORTION - THIS SITE DOES NOT MAKE YOU GUILT TRIP

Here's a link to a site that is clearly pro-abortion with lots of links that include testimonials.  Growing up in a time when most parents did not discuss contraception with their children I witnessed many of my classmates have babies and mostly give them up because they had no easy contraception options.  Then in my twenties I began to meet women who had abortions and I'll be honest, most of them WERE EMOTIONALLY UPSET about it at some point.  Still, unless you are really willing to go through a pregnancy and give the baby up for adoption, you must ask yourself if you are in a place in life where you can raise a child; do you have the wealth and the health? 

AND NO, LEAVING THE CHILD TO BE RAISED BY GRANDPARENTS ... THAT IS NOT FAIR TO THEM!

Sister

7/23/10

ABORTION RIGHTS : PLANNED PARENTHOOD

Want to know the latest about your right to abortion?  How about checking out this site by PLANNED PARENTHOOD ?

7/5/10

FIFTY YEARS OF THE CONTRACEPTION THE PILL

NOT "BIRTH CONTROL"  (How did it ever get that stupid name?)  but CONTRACEPTION... has never been more perfect than "the pill."  But it's still not perfect for everyone.  I've known women who got pregnant despite practicing every kind of contraception there is..

Link to this news story about the pill's 50th anniversary - this year!

8/8/09

NO CHILDREN MEANS CONTRACEPTION, ABORTION, CELIBACY, ADOPTION, OR LUCK

If you don't want children, then you usually don't have the luck to be naturally infertile. Instead, you have to use contraception, be willing to have an abortion - or be willing to bear a child and give it up for adoption.

You're always hearing about people who are "trying" to get pregnant. It's really no one's business, but couples today like to tell you anyway that they are or were "trying." Making love to each other seems to have turned into "trying!" (Yeesh!) But with the cost of raising children today, requiring two incomes almost always (this is not necessarily a feminist move), MORE PEOPLE ARE TRYING NOT TO GET PREGNANT THAN EVER!

BUT THE POINT OF THIS POST IS TO ASSURE YOU, that you CAN BE A NMNK having become a biological mother or father and given up the child for adoption. And we are NOT holding that against you!

6/2/09

ABORTION IN DEMAND as UNITED STATES ECONOMY COLLAPSES

Reading in the news lately, Planned Parenthood and other clinics that provide contraception and abortion health services are getting a huge number of calls as women who used to have private health insurance require exams and contraception or turn to abortion because they can't imagine being able to afford a child.

To me this news is also about the economic aspect of having children which takes maturity and sophistication to understand and accept. While the economic crisis continues to put pressure on us, many women (and men) are coming to grips with the fact that bearing and raising a child to maturity is expensive.

No, Sister here is not for any government enforcement of the use of contraception or abortion as they do in c Communist China! However, more people I talk to are are getting irate about the fact that they feel overtaxed to support and raise the children of people who have as many children as God sends them while they can't afford their own.

In truth, if the only people who had children were the ones who would be guaranteed to want them, love them, and be able to afford them the population of the earth would plummet.

Sister

3/21/09

EASTER - THE PAGAN FERTILITY HOLIDAY - ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS ?

Rabbits - eggs - symbols of male and female fertility make it into our Spring Equinox / Easter Basket. What does this have to being and remaining a NMNK? Well, we take contraception seriously... If you're superstitious, don't carry an Easter Basket ! Sister

11/13/08

IF YOU DON'T WANT CHILDREN USE CONTRACEPTION!

Ladies and Gentleman, if you do not want a child right now, if you are unable to go through a pregnancy healthy or do not have reason to believe you can support that child, USE CONTRACEPTION!

Through my lifetime I have known women who became pregnant while using contraception - the pill, the IUD, diaphragms, spermicides, condoms, and even one woman who had her tubes "tied" but somehow they grew back together! I pitied these women who had to make the hard decision of adoption or abortion, having a child before they were ready, forcing a relationship between the man who provided the sperm when he was not ready for marriage.

CONTRACEPTION IS NOT PERFECT.
Not every woman can use every method! Still, not using contraception at all is downright craziness if you don't want a child. You have to at least try to prevent becoming pregnant !

So before you are forced into a tough decision that probably will only get more expensive, USE CONTRACEPTION.


THAT GOES FOR YOU MEN OUT THERE DOUBLE !

If you are not using a rubber every time you have sex, you are asking for fatherhood!

Use condoms every time, even if you know or believe your lover is using contraception.



IT'S SAFE SEX TOO !



Sister

8/8/08

ADSENSE BLOOPER - THE JOKES ON ME ?

This blog was originally opened with an open-heartedness to signing up for Adsense and seeing what happens. Well, I noted yesterday that in the CATEGORIES BELOW there were three that seemed inappropriate - kids/children's products and services?! This is the hilarity of a computer reading material that apparently NO HUMAN BEING HAS EVER LOOKED AT. ah.... Google Adsense, this blog is called NEVER MARRIED NO CHILDREN and is pro the unmarried unencumbered-with-children lifestyle...
I'm not saying every reader here cringes when they see those parents at the mall with their kids on leashes... but some do!

This is not the favorite blog of people like Michelle Pfeiffer who thinks there is something wrong with people who don't have children. Or Sylvia Plath who had them and then stuck her head in an oven and commit suicide! So you gotta do something like start featuring ads for CONTRACEPTION !

THE LAST THING FANS OF THIS BLOG WANT IS ADS FOR CHILDREN'S PRODUCTS AND SERVICES. WE DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN HERE!