NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS - An Intentional Community: Childless by Choice

Showing posts with label Childless by Choice. Show all posts

3/17/23

LINDA RONSTADT AND DOLLY PARTON : I NEVER WILL MARRY

... "I expect to live single all the days of my life..."

(First published December 2, 2012)

3/5/23

70 YEAR OLD VIRGIN AND CABARET SINGER PAM SHAW THINKS SHE'D LIKE TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE

What a fun article and a fun lady! Pam Shaw has been busy with her sexy cabaret act but is (still) a virgin! Pam Shaw was always too busy with her cabaret singing career to find herself a man. And, as she is against sex before marriage, a casual fling was out of the question.It's all a world away from her onstage person as The Sexational Pam, with her daring outfits having turned many a head during her years on Britain's club circuit.But, as she told the Sun, she's not looking for just any old man. She said:'Now's the time. I'm ready to take the plunge for the right bloke. 'My standards are still very high, though. I'm hoping to bag a tall, dark and handsome millionaire..."

HUFFINGTONPOST UK 70 YEAR OLD VIRGIN PAM SHAW

(First posted May 11, 2012)

3/2/23

ASEXUALITY : A HOT TOPIC : HOW IT'S DIFFERENT FROM CELIBACY ?

I get a whole lot of hits on my post about ASEXUAL CELEBRITIES. A person who is asexual feels as though they are devoid of sexual motivation or sexual nature. They may be a very loving person, a sensual person, but they just don't get into sex. They can love deeply but see no need or have little to no interest in taking that love into the physical. This is the perfect way to be if you're a person who is spiritually based and participating in religious life that requires celibacy. A person may be asexual for a while or for life. They may be married and have children but no longer be interested. CELIBACY is not participating in sexual contact with other people as a chosen lifestyle, at least temporarily (the sexual fast after a break up and before another involvement for instance.) The person might like sex, even love sex, but feel that for now it's time out. While many asexuals are celibate, many celibates struggle with attractions, despite their decisions. I think the difference is motivation or attitudes. NMNK is a blog for everyone who is NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS, and being asexual or celibate are two possible ways to be NMNK.

(First published June 12, 2012)

2/28/23

UNMARRIED IN JAPAN

In countries such as Japan where the pressure to marry is immense because singlehood is so unacceptable, I've read that the rates of earlier death for single people are higher than for marrieds. Such statistics are often used to show how wonderful marriage is, how normal. Get married and you will be so happy you'll live a longer, healthier life is the story. But you have to look at how many of those never married Japanese commit suicide because of the social stigma of being unmarried. Japan is the most Westernized country in Asia and we hope that the attitudes against Never Married No Kids are changing! ARE YOU A JAPANESE MAN OR WOMAN WHO HAS NO INTEREST IN MARRYING OR HAVING CHILDREN? We'd like to hear your story!

(First published November 10, 2008)

2/22/23

NEIL DIAMOND : SOLITARY MAN

2/21/23

NMNK LINKED TO IMMATURITY? HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THE ECONOMICS?

Recently I heard about an article on the Internet from Britain which said that the reason so many young people are NMNK is that they refuse to grow up!

The number one reason I feel is that economic times are difficult. It's not easy to be in your twenties and have the kind of job that allows you to be self-supporting and put money away for the day you can be married - especially not if you want to be married, have children, and have a stay-at-home mom or dad! So many young people graduate college, and after that bout of freedom and responsibility from family, come home and move back into their bedroom in their parents' home. Then what?

I think there is another consideration besides economics though, and that is these days families are smaller and parents and children are optioning for an extended family. Instead of children leaving the family home permanently after college graduation (or the age of 18), and perhaps living so independently that they rarely see their parents, instead parents are helping raise grandchildren and children are staying to do elder care for their parents, sometimes inheriting the house a result. The interdependency is what family is all about.

Whatever the case, I object to the idea that it is never mature to live with your parents, return to your parents after college, and so on. It takes maturity to make it through four or more years of grinding college classes, to succeed at that. It also takes maturity to know that you cannot afford to live in an apartment even with roommates, or that you don't want the lifestyle that having roommates often brings. It takes maturity to know that you do not want marriage, or marriage and children at any time in your life, that you cannot afford to do so and that you would not want to burden other people as a result of your behavior.

Sister

(First posted December 15, 2012)

C 2012 Never Married No Kids - BlogSpot

2/20/23

TRACY MCMILLAN : WHY YOU'RE NOT MARRIED : A REVIEW OF STEREOTYPES SHE BELIEVES IN (THIS WILL MAKE YOU ANGRY!)

TRACY MCMILLAN : WHY YOU'RE NOT MARRIED : A REVIEW OF STEREOTYPES SHE BELIEVES IN

This article, linked here, is by Tracy McMillan, and appeared in the Huffington Post, is called "WHY YOU'RE NOT MARRIED." Mcmillan is a single mother living in Los Angeles and the Huffington Post is owned by a woman who has been suspected of marrying a homosexual so that when the divorce came (inevitable) she'd be rich. The Quick List: You're a Bitch, You're Shallow, You're a Slut, You're a Liar, You're Selfish, You're Not Good Enough. (Ready to vomit?) If anger hasn't moved from your feet into your head by now, nothing will provoke you. McMillan is presenting all the worst "reasons" while holding out hope for us. NO SHE'S NOT A HUMORIST.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-youre-not-married_b_822088

(First published April 10, 2012)

2/18/23

SUSAN JACOBY 'S NEVER SAY DIE TELLS THE TRUTH ABOUT BEING OLD ALONE BROKE and ILL

VIDEO EXPIRED taken down Nov 2023

Linking to a YouTube video in which author Susan Jacoby explains her viewpoint. Will our old age be so different than that of our parents or grandparents? New Agism has taken over. Just read a devastating book, written by a secular humanist Susan Jacoby, who looks at the facts not the spin on old age. NEVER SAY DIE, THE MYTH AND MARKETING of THE NEW OLD AGE, put out by Pantheon Books this year, looks at issues like Baby Boomer finances (especially severe for old women), Alzheimer's, and other issues that the people promoting 80 as the new 50 don't want you to try on. While reading this book I was thinking of the recession we're in and the fact that many women never have the kind of employers who provide retirements. So many are already hurting, already working hard and unable to save. I was thinking that fear of being alone and broke in old age IS STILL NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO HAVE CHILDREN TO TAKE CARE OF YOU IN OLD AGE . In visiting seniors living in retirement homes, board and cares, and nursing homes, I already know that many of those who had children - and grandchildren - still do not get the visits they need. I notice those ads that have vital active and young looking grey haired seniors enjoying their retirement years. They rarely seem to show real residents, people with walkers and wheel chairs. This book is not light summer reading, but it is reading that will make you think and activate.

Sister

(First published August 30, 2011)

2/17/23

S IS FOR SINGLE!

2/12/23

HUMOR : HOW TO LOOSE YOUR VIRGINITY : HUMOR

HUMOR : HOW TO LOOSE YOUR VIRGINITY
I thought this was funny and I bet you will too...

2/11/23

W.C. FIELDS HUMOR

This one was relayed to me the other day. Someone asked W.C. Fields, the Old Hollywood comedian, "DO YOU LIKE CHILDREN?" And he said "ONLY WELL DONE, MY DEAR !"

(First published August 14, 2009)

2/10/23

JOAN ARMITRADING : ME MYSELF I

(First posted March 25, 2012)

2/9/23

GOING SOLO BY ERIC KLINENBERG : NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS BOOK REVIEW

C 2012 Eric Klinenberg The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone Published by Penguin Press

This is the best book I've read about being single and living alone that has come out in a long time. The approach the author, Eric Klinenberg takes, is to look at singles in society and he did a lot of interviewing to get his information. Going Solo includes chapters on aging alone, and the poor who are living alone in Single Room Occupancy type apartments who don't socialize with their neighbors, hoping to protect themselves. It is that chapter that I found most impressive. (Pages 111 -112) ...

"Some of the affluent and middle-class people we interviewed acknowledged that they'd sought out a place of their own to avoid toxic relationships, or to escape from a community that took more than it gave. The disadvantaged men we interviewed were even more likely to report motivations like this. For them, living alone can easily lead to a dangerous extremes, resulting not only in domestic autonomy but also in reclusiveness, hoarding, and other antisocial behaviors that turn one's safe house into a tomb. Even more judicious forms of social withdrawal may lead to a kind of miserable security, as in the case of many of the ex-convicts, substance abusers, and the unemployed men who take refuge in single-room-occupancy hotels and cheap efficiency apartments to avoid friends and family whose company brings more trouble that it's worth. Living alone is a way to protect the self, yet it also risks imperiling it, and it;'s no surprise that people in good physical, emotional, and financial health, are better able to find the right balance than those who are sick or poor. For those with financial security, a busy schedule, and a dense social network, living alone can be productive because it offers access to privacy, restoration, and personal development. But for the vulnerable it more often leads to what Berkeley sociologist Sandra Smith calls "defensive individualism," a dangerous state that fosters distrust toward other people and institutions, and ultimately toward the self as well." As the author points out early in the book (Page 3)

"During the past half century , our species has embarked on a remarkable social experiment. For the first time in human history, great numbers of people - at all ages, in all places, of every political persuasion - have begun settling down as singletons." (Page 5)

"Today more than 50 percent of American adults are single, and 31 million - roughly one out of eery seven adults - live alone. (This figure excludes the 8 million Americans who live in voluntary and non-voluntary group quarters, such as assisted living facilities, nursing homes, and prisons.) People who live alone make up 28% of all U.S. households, which means that they are not tied with childless couples as the most prominent residential type - more common than the nuclear family, the multi-generational family, and the roommate or group home. Surprisingly, living alone is also one of the most stable household arrangements... Contemporary solo dwellers are primarily women; about 17 million, compared to 14 million men... This one is worth your spare time to read!

(First published on September 24, 2012)

2/8/23

I MEET A 71 YEAR OLD VIRGIN AT THE GROCER! (AND THE 22 YEAR OLD VIRGIN MASS MURDERER - UC SANTA BARBARA!)

She was one of several of us who were in the back of the grocer looking at discounted products. We got to talking about the latest mass murderer (not serial killer) the 22 year old virgin who killed 6 and then himself, and left another dozen or so wounded in the town Isla Vista near UC Santa Barbara. I said "SO WHAT HE WAS A 22 YEAR OLD VIRGIN! Used to be that just about everyone who wasn't married by 22 was a virgin. Plenty of really intelligent people wait until they are old enough for responsibility to have sex!"

She blurted "Well, I'm a 71 year old virgin!"

I said, " CONGRATULATIONS!"

She said "I never married because I was always someone's CAREGIVER! Now that I'm retired my income is too low to go out and meet people."

I suggested a senior center in the next town that has some good inexpensive trips for 55 and over.

YOU KNOW SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST FEEL LIKE SHARING WITH FRIENDLY STRANGERS!

By the way, she looked 10 years younger at least. This is something I've observed in the NMNK. Many look much younger than they are. Having and raising children, especially if you also work full time, is stressful and aging.

I supposed we will have to include the 22 year old virgin mass murderer as NMNK!

(First posed on June 7, 2014)

2/7/23

LIZA MINNELLI : OLD FRIEND and LIVE ALONE AND LIKE IT

(First published September 14, 2012)

2/4/23

ELLEN PECK'S BABY TRAP HELPED ME DECIDE

MINNESOTA PUBLIC RADIO - ABOUT ELLEN PECK AND THE BABY TRAP link

She used the term "non-parent."

I once had a brochure by the group Ellen founded, the non-parents, that was full of questions a person should ask themselves to help themselves decide if they wanted a baby now or at all. I can't recall how I came to possess it. One of the questions was "Do I want a child only if it is a girl or only if it is a boy child?"

I realized early that I was not ready to parent. Realizing the responsibility - especially financial - that I was not up to, I decided to either use contraception or avoid sex because abortion was not an option. (Today I am pro-Choice. I know contraception is not perfect. I've met people who got pregnant anyway, despite using the Pill, the Diaphram, the IUD, even someone who got pregnant after a Tubal!)

I left the option open that maybe if I married, and had a good marriage, after some time I might change my mind, but I always told men I was dating that I didn't think I wanted any children. That may have hurt my prospects, but so be it.

As the years went by, I realized that I did not want to be a mother, even if I married someone who could afford a nanny.

2/3/23

KYLIE MINOGUE : FINER FEELINGS

2/2/23

LET THE LADIES AGAINST WOMEN REMIND YOU...

A YouTube presentation, film by Tim Wessel.

Let the Ladies Against Women REMIND YOU of some of the reasons MARRIAGE has been a raw deal for women, and what feminism is about. This is a 2003 performance of the Ladies Against Women, who also perform in parades such as the Do Da Parade that is held in Pasadena, California - a remedy for the Rose Bowl.

Seriously though, did you form a bad opinion about marriage due to feminist enlightenment?

(First posted on Feb 2, 2008)

2/1/23

STRANGE BUT TRUE : MOST OF MY FRIENDS ARE FIRST OR ONLY CHILDREN! DOES BIRTH ORDER HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH BEING AN NMNK?

Sister here : Recently I realized that most of my friends are first or only children - and they were born mostly before have 2.5 children was the norm! (I wonder what the psychologists who believe in birth order are going to do about that "middle child" in their analysis?)

As a child- those first five years that they say are so vital - I had lots of neighbor children and cousins to play with. But as much as I liked playing with other children I also started honing quiet time for myself because I took to reading early and also loved making art projects.

I WONDER IF THERE ARE ANY STATS ON BIRTH ORDER AND NMNK?!

(First published July 25, 2011)

1/31/23