ELLEN PECK'S BABY TRAP HELPED ME DECIDE

ELLEN PECK'S BABY TRAP HELPED ME DECIDE

MINNESOTA PUBLIC RADIO - ABOUT ELLEN PECK AND THE BABY TRAP link

 She used the term "non-parent."

I once had a brochure by the group Ellen founded, the non-parents, that was full of questions a  person should ask themselves to help themselves decide if they wanted a baby now or at all.  I can't recall how I came to possess it.  One of the questions was "Do I want a child only if it is a girl or only if it is a boy child?" 

I realized early that I was not ready to parent.  Realizing the responsibility - especially financial - that I was not up to, I decided to either use contraception or avoid sex because abortion was not an option.  (Today I am pro-Choice.  I know contraception is not perfect.  I've met people who got pregnant anyway, despite using the Pill, the Diaphram, the IUD, even someone who got pregnant after a Tubal!) 

I left the option open that maybe if I married, and had a good marriage, after some time I might change my mind, but I always told men I was dating that I didn't think I wanted any children.  That may have hurt my prospects, but so be it. 

As the years went by, I realized that I did not want to be a mother, even if I married someone who could afford a nanny.