Showing posts with label Never Married No Kids BlogSpot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Never Married No Kids BlogSpot. Show all posts

6/3/23

ALTERNATIVES TO MARRIAGE PROJECT

PHILANTHROPY NEWS DIGEST: ALTERNATIVES TO MARRIAGE PROJECTS 

Excerpt:  Founded 1998

Mission: The Alternatives to Marriage Project is a national nonprofit organization advocating for equality and fairness for unmarried people, including people who chose not to marry, cannot marry, or live together before marriage.  While ATMP opposes marital status discrimination it is  not anti-marriage...  Essentially, it believes that everyone should have the option of choosing to marry or not...

3/24/23

WHAT'S "WRONG" WITH YOU THAT YOU DON'T HAVE CHILDREN? NOTHING!

 WHAT'S "WRONG" WITH YOU THAT YOU DON'T HAVE CHILDREN?  NOTHING!


What's WRONG?  What's wrong is all those people who think that by PESTERING YOU, INVADING YOUR PRIVACY, and otherwise being RUDE or IGNORANT, think they deserve an answer to such a question?  But we know that most of them won't take "NONE OF YOUR (DAMN) BUSINESS" as an answer.  So we have to come up with an answer that is satisfying.  I know some of you take pride in not stooping to someone elses level, but when they aim to hurt, aim right for your sensitivities, do they really deserve to be treated with respect they won't give you?

First tactic.  Turn the question around!

 "What's wrong with you that... you have children?  You have many children (that you can't afford to give them a decent life)?  What's wrong with you that you not wait until you were married when you could not afford children / give them what they deserve / provide a family for them?"  "What's wrong with you that you did not use contraception when there are so many options these days?"

"What's wrong with you for asking? " 

"Do you lack social skills?"

"Do you need a personality transplant?"

You get the idea.  I would love to hear some real life RETORTS!

(First published May 21, 2011) 

3/22/23

LISA SMITH BRAVELY ADMITS SHE HATES SEX AND WANTS A HETERO RELATIONSHIP

 LISA SMITH BRAVELY ADMITS SHE HATES SEX AND WANTS A HETERO RELATIONSHIP


LISA SMITH ASEXUAL AND LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP  DAILY MAIL ARTICLE includes interview and video.

" After trying everything in the bedroom to rid her of her disgust for the act she still felt repulsed."

(First published March 22, 2013)


7/19/22

MOTHERS REPORT THEIR REGRET OVER HAVING CHILDREN

DAILY MAIL (UK) ONLINE : FEMALE : WOMEN REPORT REGRET AT HAVING CHILDREN 

The reluctant parents, from around the world, have shared their stories anonymously in a Facebook group called I REGRET HAVING CHILDREN...

Loss of freedom, difficult decisions, feeling trapped, having children they didn't want...

I feel for them, but not having children, if you want them, is probably worse,


5/22/21

I CRY AT WEDDINGS - LABELEING YOURSELF NMNK

The other day I was reading a British publication - celebrity driven - and to get to the point here, the writer of an article basically said that the fact that Prince Albert II of Monaco's bride, Charlene, appeared to be holding back tears at her wedding proved she didn't want to go through with it and was regretting it already. Well, I thought that was ridiculous. I thought about how I am often stirred with emotion at weddings and shed some tears and how tears of happiness or feeling overwhelmed can be mistaken for tears of sadness or fear or regret. I imagine I would cry at my own wedding (though I have never had one.)

Yes, even though I personally have not married and don't think I ever will, I have been known to cry at weddings, even of weddings depicted in fictive films or on television. I'm capable of having empathy for someone else's happiness - or sadness.

I recently watched the film Four Weddings and a Funeral and enjoyed the humor.

Apparently in Britain one can attend a lot of weddings in a season, one after another.  I enjoyed that attending weddings - the whole business of it - was depicted as boring and also that some wedding guests do NOT mind their manners.

I suppose the theme of the film is that even though weddings themselves can be awful and finding the right person to marry can be awful it happens all the time.

In real life I think that the idea that everyone gets married - that everyone finds love - is omnipresent. You can love and be loved in many ways and not live with someone or marry them. You can also make a commitment and find yourself in an experience where you can not or should not go forwards. Yet there are many people who might want to marry who never get the chance to for various reasons starting with:

DISABILITY : Sorry to say but mental illness and many other disabilities prevent some people from being economically viable or being a partner. 

LOOKS  (Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder but there are also trends. Cosmetic surgery wouldn't be as big as it is if it were not for the fact that people don't want their looks to stand in the way of their success. For most people the expense of it makes it not an option) 

RELIGIOUS VOWS : While it seems that there are far fewer people joining priesthoods and nunneries that require celibacies, more people are taking celibacy as an option due to their own spiritual explorations, or as a "time out" after a break up or dating hell.

LACK OF OPPORTUNITY :  A person may live in a place where there are few options or the girl or boy next door is already taken. Long gone is the village mentality that matchmakes widows and widowers or where everyone has to be married in order to exist. The matchmaker used to be an option and now it's using the internet to meet people.

*****

The main reason I cry at real weddings is that I see the chance taking involved, the idealism and the hope for a good and happy life that the couple are making. This is especially the case because we all know the rate of success, if we think of it in terms of the vows of "till death" that so many marriages are NOT successful. If we count long term relationships in which people do or do not live together without having a wedding or a legal marriage, we all know people who have been "married" many times. I've worked with or had friends who have had three to five long term relationships and have basically never in adult life been without a partner.  I consider some of them to be OVERMARRIED.

As a result of all this, it's difficult to DEFINE who is NMNK

Do I consider someone who marries for the first time at 38 and, in the last moments of their fertility has a child, NMNK?  Not any more, but I did before.

Someone who was long married but childless, has been divorced for a decade and has not re-partnered?  Probably.

Ultimately a person should APPPLY the NMNK to THEMSLEVES, rather than on others.

The label has a lot to do with you NOW.

For me, no "spinster's prayer" to find a husband. No dating clubs or meet ups. I have never worn a wedding band to tell the world I'm not available. 

Am I capable of falling in love?  If the past counts, apparently so. 


C 2021 Never Married No Kids BlogSpot

5/18/21

REVAMP of NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS BLOGSPOT - AN INTENTIONAL COMMUNITY

There have been so many changes to this BlogSpot  (And to Google Bloggers) since I began this blog in 2008!  One thing that has not changed is that I'm still NMNK - Never Married No Kids.

I just made a major change in color. What looked good on a cell phone looked a bit much on the bigger screen. 

 As I looked through hundreds of posts, I knew that both FlashVortex animations and Meez Avatar had long ago expired. But I took them out of the html code anyway. I especially miss the excitement of FlashVortex banners but they just aren't working here.

Replacing expired videos is an ongoing process and not always possible

I'm hoping you'll go through the archives and find some interesting posts!

Sister




 

8/15/18

WHAT IF MEGHAN and HARRY NEVER HAVE CHILDREN?

Although I think Meghan and Harry, The Duchess and Duke of Sussex, want to have children, it's not lost on me that at 37, the Duchess might not surprise us if she doesn't become pregnant right away.  Their lives are full and they are united in their desire to make positive impact on the world.

Already I'm readying speculative stories about the names of their children and other assumptions.  You know what they say abut assumptions!  They make an as* out of you and me.  So, WHY DOES ANY ASPECT OF THE MEDIA PUT PRESSURE ON THIS COUPLE to procreate?

BECAUSE IT IS SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE to put pressure on any couple to do so, and the pressure starts in some cases before a couple marries.  Grandmothers to be a big problem with this.  When a woman get's pregnant and is not married, some grandmothers tell their daughters it is time to GIVE THEM a grandchild.  Sometimes these women are bored and eagerly wish to raise the child.  Some just say this trying to prevent an abortion of an unplanned for child.

I say let's get the pressure of the royal couple and off everyone.  For us commoners, WANTING a child is one thing, being able to raise the child to adulthood is another consideration.

Sister

UPDATE FEB 2019  Well, Meghan is pregnant and due in a couple months - April, maybe May and so having a child was top of the couple's agenda.  At least they are mature adults who made a decision and very capable of affording children.
U{DATE May 2021 - Again.

UPDATE  JUNE 2022  Well, and it is clear they did have two.  At least these two were wanted and can be afforded.