PLATONIC MALE FRIEND PROVES TO BE SELECTIVELY DEAF! : SISTER SPEAKS!

 PLATONIC MALE FRIEND PROVES TO BE SELECTIVELY DEAF

SELECTIVELY DEAF!  That's what I call my platonic friend who just recently landed a bouquet of flowers on me (secretly; no one seems to know how they got there) with a card that called me his "princess" and his "dream."  and was signed "your secret admirer."  When I made no reaction (at that point not sure who or where they came from!) he went and asked me if I had gotten them.  He turned pink. 

I said "Thank you, but that was really not necessary."  He asked "Well, who else would have sent them?" (The truth is there must be at least a half dozen men here and there who make passes at me or suggest that they would be interested in me and I could think of 5 men who might have.) My friend was on a "fishing expedition". 

HE ONCE SAID "When I woman doesn't talk about a boyfriend I figure she doesn't have one.  And I had said, "I don't talk a lot about boyfriends. Then I said that I had been dating someone for a year before I had mentioned this to anyone in our social group and first met him and I saw no reason to detail my encounters or my feelings. 

I don't have anything against getting a bouquet of flowers (you can tell that from my Meez avatar above!) but I DO HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST A MAN WHO APPARENTLY HAS NOT HEARD ME WHEN I HAVE SAID in recent times that I AM CELIBATE, THAT I AM NOT INTERESTED IN GETTING MARRIED, THAT I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A BOYFRIEND... When I have complained about one man or another looking for unwarranted hugs or a neighbor trying to practice foot massage therapy on me. When I have said that I would not want to live with or marry another person in our same profession...

It's true this man and I have long discussions about various intellectual subjects, but he drives me a little crazy because he's professorial and one of those people who thinks interrupting a discussion to correct pronunciation isn't unkind. He's interesting on his subjects but a bit of a know it all. I can only take so much of him and I don't confuse all this with a relationship developing more sexually. It's also true that I told him about the (above mentioned) relationship when it was well over, explaining to him that it had become long distance and thus unworkable but that this person still occupied my heart. I was not sure what would happen if he moved back to town.

JUST TO MAKE THE BOUQUET EVEN MORE EVIDENT OF SELECTIVE DEAFNESS, he had said that he could not imagine being with a woman who was not a devout Christian, which I am not.  So, of course, I thought he was declaring us incompatible on that basis.

I thought we were hanging out KNOWING that platonic friendship was the only possibility for us.

NOW I FEEL THAT TO EVEN TAKE HIS CALLS or GO ANYWHERE WITH HIM will be leading him on, since I have no interest or intention of taking this once upon a time friendship to another level!  

CAN YOU RELATE?

Sister

(First Published September 11, 2010)

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