DID YOU STAY HOME ALONE FOR THANKSGIVING RATHER THAN DEAL WITH THE RELATIVES? WHAT ABOUT CHRISTMAS?

 DID YOU STAY HOME ALONE FOR THANKSGIVING RATHER THAN DEAL WITH THE RELATIVES? WHAT ABOUT CHRISTMAS?

Well friends, I did!  I got my turkey a week early and decided to thaw out and cook it the next day.  I stuck it in a crock pot and hours later I had a meal and a lot of left overs.  I remember the days when Turkey was only for holidays but now, due to low fat diets, more of us are eating it regularly.  Not as special.

Also not as special.  Going out shopping on Thanksgiving!  Is NOTHING sacred?

Not me.  There was not a chance in hell that I was going to do Thanksgiving as greed and materialism and Black Friday as more greed and materialism.  I know there were deals out there but in my town people were camping out in store parking lots over night to beat other consumers.

I went to the local library the day before and came home with a dozen DVD's.  Some films I wanted to watch, others to take a chance with, including documentaries.  Then, as I watched these over a FOUR DAY SELF IMPOSED HOLIDAY, I did some hand sewing. 

Over my holiday I took my doggie for a long walk and bathed her.  I started to read a really interesting book called YOUR DOG IS YOUR MIRROR, just out, that tells us that dogs are living in the moment and emotionally at all times. (Enough of this dog training via the dominance model!)

Actually I had a long list of things I hoped to accomplish, but hey, washing the windows and hanging new draperies I'd made by myself was fulfilling, and I can put the Halloween decorations away another time.

At no time did I feel sorry for myself or lonely!

In fact, I turned down an invitation to go to a friend's family for Thanksgiving.  My friend is always complaining about all the family members who would be there, so I saw no reason why I needed to meet these people who cause her so many issues all year.  I'm sure she meant well, but I preferred my own company.

Now the Christmas Holidays are upon us.  I plan to craft a very few personal gifts to give at year's end, along with a LOT OF THANKS for those people I really do appreciate. To me even Christmas is OPTIONAL when it comes to being social.  It's great to be able to do as I like rather than be socially obligated!

Sister

(First published November 26, 2012)

THANKSGIVING PLANS FOR THE NMNK

Most NMNK have family or friends who they spend THANKSGIVING with.
But if you think you may be alone this coming holiday, here are some ideas for you.


1) Be the person who invites other people who also have nowhere to go to a a THANKSGIVING potluck.
2) Volunteer to cook or serve at a senior center, homeless shelter, or church.
3) Stay home and cook your personal pan turkey.  (Seriously, I did this one year by purchasing Trader Joe's turkey, already sliced breasts.  I also made an acorn squash and some stuffing and poured myself some wine.  It was delicious.  And I enjoyed myself.)
4) Make some long distance phone calls to people you haven't spoken to in a while.
5) Take a walk in the park, at the sea coast, in the rain - be out in nature.
6) Think of those things you really are very appreciative of.

COMMITMENT PHOBIC ???? THE THANKSGIVING A RELATIVE TRIED TO MATCHMAKE ME WITHOUT SHOWING RESPECT FOR ME FIRST

I'll never forget the Thanksgiving that I showed up at a relatives for dinner and discovered that she had invited a single man to match make me.  No she never mentioned this to me when she was extending the invitation or at any time before I walked in there.  The man was a nice man, a good man, and he had a good income.  All that was true and perhaps for her that was ENOUGH to make him eligible.  But she never asked me if I had a boyfriend, if I was seeing anyone, if I was involved, or at all interested in being match made.

And when I couldn't hide my displeasure I heard her go to him and explain that I had a problem with commitment.

BULLSHIT!

It might not surprise you to know that I no longer keep a relationship with this relative who I discovered to be dishonest in the sense that she was always manipulating and designing rather than being straightforward and candid. 

Besides all this, the fact was that this man was very interested in getting married and having a family.
She told him I was family oriented.  That was true.  To my existing family.  I had no interest in actually becoming pregnant, giving birth, breastfeeding, or raising children though.  Still don't.

One thing that didn't happen?
I did not go out with him to please her.
I did not go out with him against my own instincts or wishes, where I would feel ensnared and possibly feel I had to come up with explanations and apologies for not being interested.
And though he possibly felt he had wasted HIS time and been duped, I didn't worry so much about his feelings in the moment to spend time talking to him; possibly he knew that she had made an error.

So you may wonder, HAVE I EVER MATCHMADE ANYONE?

The answer is no.

A STAY AT HOME THANKSGIVING - ME AND MY RECENTLY ATTACKED DOG

Maybe it's because these days it's not uncommon to eat turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and green beans any time of the year, when you have a taste for it, but I'm in no mood for THANKSGIVING.

A few days ago I felt up for it, but now I want to stay home with my dog.

What happened to change my mind or my mood?

My dog, a small dog, was attacked while we were on an early morning walk by a big black dog, a dog unleashed.

As we approached the usual cross over from cement to wood chips, an area my dog gets stickies on from time to time and so goes cautiously on, I noticed the dogs were looking at each other and appeared stalled.  I attributed my dog's caution to wanting to survey the area and go slow over it, so I continued and she followed.  Suddenly the big black dog was upon her and since she was leashed she couldn't get away.  She tried to duck as he growled and tried to chew up her snout and head.  I was screaming out loud!  The owner of the black dog called him off to no avail.  I pushed the big black dog away, fearless in the moment, which was a little crazy.  He went for another round at her. Finally he pulled her away.  This big black dog had hatred in its eyes.

"There's a leash law in this town and a $1200 fine for having your dog off leash for starters, " I said.  Your dog wanted to maul my dog and kill her.  She's small and timid.  She doesn't defend herself.  She has a hard time imagining anyone - any dog - wouldn't like her."

The man seemed quiet and maybe remorseful.

I checked for wounds and blood and miraculously saw none.  I like to think that the big black dog got mostly her long hair in its mouth.

No I didn't get his ID etc.  I don't know him or where he lives.  (Only later by description did I realize that this may be the man who the neighborhood is looking for, a man with a big dog that never bends to pick up his dog's shit!)

I picked up my dog and walked her about 30 feet and then set her back down to walk home.  At home I put her under the bed covers with me.  She seemed OK.  I hoped what they say is true, that a dog is forgetful, but within the hour she had thrown up on the carpet.  It was nerves - trauma.  Her little body holds this memory.

I had to leave her for the day.

Later, after talking to a friend who has three dogs smaller than mine, I decided to take her advice and feed my dog baby food incase her stomach was upset.  Indeed it was.  For a week she'd ignored the wheatgrass I have planted on the doorstep in a pot.  Now she was avid to eat the wheatgrass.  She ate only half a jar of the beef baby food puree and then snuggled right next to me in bed.

It's my turn to try and cry out the inner hysteria I felt when unthinkingly trying to rescue her from attack.  I've been on the verge of tears since, angry, and scared.

What if she had been mauled and this owner had run off and instead of having her next to me she was DEAD?  What if I'd had to put her asleep?

So I am THANKFUL that I have my dog alive and well.

THANKSGIVING DINNER ! THOSE NASTY RELATIVES !

Don't know about you but I've had some real nasty "Family" Thanksgiving Dinners!

BECAUSE I BROUGHT A FRIEND WHO HAD NOWHERE ELSE TO GO ALONG, it was assumed that this man was an important relationship... LIKE, "MAYBE SHE'S GOING TO GET MARRIED!" The poor guy endured a lot of personal questions, like he was being interviewed to see if he was husband material. A relative had the nerve to tell him I had "Commitment Phobia" which isn't true at all. So here are some things to be thankful for! THAT THOSE KIDS RUNNING AROUND THE HOUSE get to go home with someone else at the days end!