Here we are closing into the last cluster of Holidays - Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve, and New Years, and I haven't got a date and I don't care. I'm not depressed. I don't feel bad for myself. I like being single and unattached. I have freedom compared to most people I know who are overworked from having jobs and having families. Many of these people say they do it all for their children, but rarely have quality time for those children. Everything they do is in a rush. It's chaos most of the time. Most of them overdose their children with gifts to make up for the time they don't have to spend with them. Most of these children are spoiled.
As far as visiting other people goes, me and my doggie are planning on a three mile walk that will allow us to visit my 92 year old senior citizen friend some time soon. He lost a wife he met while a young teenager and thus knew for over 60 years when she died and has children and grandchildren but is mostly alone most of the time. I respect him because he reads and writes, keeping his intellect. He gets out of the house more than most people his age and refuses to use a cane. At the senior living home he's in there are 10 women for every one man and he's still keeping all of them at arm's length. His wife was it for him and I get that.
I feel happy that I have all my (minimal) shopping done. That my cupboards are stocked with food. That I have a bunch of old movies I want to watch and a plan to eat healthy while I watch them, doggie at my side. Wishing my readers Happy Holiday for ONE! Sister
12/21/13
11/26/13
A STAY AT HOME THANKSGIVING - ME AND MY RECENTLY ATTACKED DOG
Maybe it's because these days it's not uncommon to eat turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and green beans any time of the year, when you have a taste for it, but I'm in no mood for THANKSGIVING.
A few days ago I felt up for it, but now I want to stay home with my dog.
What happened to change my mind or my mood?
My dog, a small dog, was attacked while we were on an early morning walk by a big black dog, a dog unleashed.
As we approached the usual cross over from cement to wood chips, an area my dog gets stickies on from time to time and so goes cautiously on, I noticed the dogs were looking at each other and appeared stalled. I attributed my dog's caution to wanting to survey the area and go slow over it, so I continued and she followed. Suddenly the big black dog was upon her and since she was leashed she couldn't get away. She tried to duck as he growled and tried to chew up her snout and head. I was screaming out loud! The owner of the black dog called him off to no avail. I pushed the big black dog away, fearless in the moment, which was a little crazy. He went for another round at her. Finally he pulled her away. This big black dog had hatred in its eyes.
"There's a leash law in this town and a $1200 fine for having your dog off leash for starters, " I said. Your dog wanted to maul my dog and kill her. She's small and timid. She doesn't defend herself. She has a hard time imagining anyone - any dog - wouldn't like her."
The man seemed quiet and maybe remorseful.
I checked for wounds and blood and miraculously saw none. I like to think that the big black dog got mostly her long hair in its mouth.
No I didn't get his ID etc. I don't know him or where he lives. (Only later by description did I realize that this may be the man who the neighborhood is looking for, a man with a big dog that never bends to pick up his dog's shit!)
I picked up my dog and walked her about 30 feet and then set her back down to walk home. At home I put her under the bed covers with me. She seemed OK. I hoped what they say is true, that a dog is forgetful, but within the hour she had thrown up on the carpet. It was nerves - trauma. Her little body holds this memory.
I had to leave her for the day.
Later, after talking to a friend who has three dogs smaller than mine, I decided to take her advice and feed my dog baby food incase her stomach was upset. Indeed it was. For a week she'd ignored the wheatgrass I have planted on the doorstep in a pot. Now she was avid to eat the wheatgrass. She ate only half a jar of the beef baby food puree and then snuggled right next to me in bed.
It's my turn to try and cry out the inner hysteria I felt when unthinkingly trying to rescue her from attack. I've been on the verge of tears since, angry, and scared.
What if she had been mauled and this owner had run off and instead of having her next to me she was DEAD? What if I'd had to put her asleep?
So I am THANKFUL that I have my dog alive and well.
A few days ago I felt up for it, but now I want to stay home with my dog.
What happened to change my mind or my mood?
My dog, a small dog, was attacked while we were on an early morning walk by a big black dog, a dog unleashed.
As we approached the usual cross over from cement to wood chips, an area my dog gets stickies on from time to time and so goes cautiously on, I noticed the dogs were looking at each other and appeared stalled. I attributed my dog's caution to wanting to survey the area and go slow over it, so I continued and she followed. Suddenly the big black dog was upon her and since she was leashed she couldn't get away. She tried to duck as he growled and tried to chew up her snout and head. I was screaming out loud! The owner of the black dog called him off to no avail. I pushed the big black dog away, fearless in the moment, which was a little crazy. He went for another round at her. Finally he pulled her away. This big black dog had hatred in its eyes.
"There's a leash law in this town and a $1200 fine for having your dog off leash for starters, " I said. Your dog wanted to maul my dog and kill her. She's small and timid. She doesn't defend herself. She has a hard time imagining anyone - any dog - wouldn't like her."
The man seemed quiet and maybe remorseful.
I checked for wounds and blood and miraculously saw none. I like to think that the big black dog got mostly her long hair in its mouth.
No I didn't get his ID etc. I don't know him or where he lives. (Only later by description did I realize that this may be the man who the neighborhood is looking for, a man with a big dog that never bends to pick up his dog's shit!)
I picked up my dog and walked her about 30 feet and then set her back down to walk home. At home I put her under the bed covers with me. She seemed OK. I hoped what they say is true, that a dog is forgetful, but within the hour she had thrown up on the carpet. It was nerves - trauma. Her little body holds this memory.
I had to leave her for the day.
Later, after talking to a friend who has three dogs smaller than mine, I decided to take her advice and feed my dog baby food incase her stomach was upset. Indeed it was. For a week she'd ignored the wheatgrass I have planted on the doorstep in a pot. Now she was avid to eat the wheatgrass. She ate only half a jar of the beef baby food puree and then snuggled right next to me in bed.
It's my turn to try and cry out the inner hysteria I felt when unthinkingly trying to rescue her from attack. I've been on the verge of tears since, angry, and scared.
What if she had been mauled and this owner had run off and instead of having her next to me she was DEAD? What if I'd had to put her asleep?
So I am THANKFUL that I have my dog alive and well.
10/23/13
THE LIE THAT YOU CAN'T MAKE A COMMITMENT
ARE PEOPLE WHO CHOOSE TO BE NMNK really unable to make a commitment to another person. Is that the "real reason" the person is unmarried, maybe even unable to venture into relationships?
This idea is popular among THERAPISTS who at this point believe that everyone is diagnosable and with every diagnosis there is a medication to take, though in this case "fear of commitment" will likely respond to an antidepressant!
Here is how it goes. You seek therapy because you are unhappy. Most often you are unhappy because of your relationships. The therapist wants to dig first of all into your relationship with your parents, then your siblings, and so on. But you know, there are some situations that are not worth fixing, that are best to give up on, though that may be painful.
As I see it, anyone who ruins their own life blaming their parents for it, is probably just using that as an excuse. Maybe in your twenties but when is the turning point? I know someone who is now near 60 who is still explaining to women he goes on dates with about his parent's bad marriage. Please!
This idea, that you may not want to be married as a problem with commitment, is also popular among family members and friends who want to be embarrassed by their children and friends who are living what they consider to be an unconventional lifestyle. I would guess there are those who would rather say their son or daughter is in a committed gay relationship than say that there child is simply NMNK!
Yes, I believe these things because over time I've experienced hearing people make excuses for me, when no excuses are/were needed. I've heard things - usually not to my face - but around.
For instance, a relative of mine, someone who in the end proved to be deceitful, decided to introduce me to a man who while educated and handsome was looking for a wife so he could stay in the United States. Yes, he was "age appropriate."
Since then I have been approached just walking down the street by men from Israel, India, Iran, who must be looking for women who are not wearing wedding rings, looking for someone to marry their friend, to keep him in the country! These people who are from more traditional religions or cultures actually have tried to sell me on marrying them as if this marriage of convenience would be good for me! Excuse me?
She invited him to a THANKSGIVING DINNER that she knew I would attend and didn't even have the respect to ask me if I wanted an introduction before hand, so there I went and it was so embarrassing! First of all, I'm not a pawn in her schemes and secondly, she showed no respect for what I had said about myself and my interests in conversations with her previously. I said I was not interested in having children. She told this man I was "family oriented."
SO SHE APOLOGIZED TO THIS MAN SAYING THAT I HAD A FEAR OF COMMITMENT!
I don't believe that people who really have a fear of commitment are able to commit to much at all. Me, I've been committed to jobs, pet ownership, and my family of origin.
This idea is popular among THERAPISTS who at this point believe that everyone is diagnosable and with every diagnosis there is a medication to take, though in this case "fear of commitment" will likely respond to an antidepressant!
Here is how it goes. You seek therapy because you are unhappy. Most often you are unhappy because of your relationships. The therapist wants to dig first of all into your relationship with your parents, then your siblings, and so on. But you know, there are some situations that are not worth fixing, that are best to give up on, though that may be painful.
As I see it, anyone who ruins their own life blaming their parents for it, is probably just using that as an excuse. Maybe in your twenties but when is the turning point? I know someone who is now near 60 who is still explaining to women he goes on dates with about his parent's bad marriage. Please!
This idea, that you may not want to be married as a problem with commitment, is also popular among family members and friends who want to be embarrassed by their children and friends who are living what they consider to be an unconventional lifestyle. I would guess there are those who would rather say their son or daughter is in a committed gay relationship than say that there child is simply NMNK!
Yes, I believe these things because over time I've experienced hearing people make excuses for me, when no excuses are/were needed. I've heard things - usually not to my face - but around.
For instance, a relative of mine, someone who in the end proved to be deceitful, decided to introduce me to a man who while educated and handsome was looking for a wife so he could stay in the United States. Yes, he was "age appropriate."
Since then I have been approached just walking down the street by men from Israel, India, Iran, who must be looking for women who are not wearing wedding rings, looking for someone to marry their friend, to keep him in the country! These people who are from more traditional religions or cultures actually have tried to sell me on marrying them as if this marriage of convenience would be good for me! Excuse me?
She invited him to a THANKSGIVING DINNER that she knew I would attend and didn't even have the respect to ask me if I wanted an introduction before hand, so there I went and it was so embarrassing! First of all, I'm not a pawn in her schemes and secondly, she showed no respect for what I had said about myself and my interests in conversations with her previously. I said I was not interested in having children. She told this man I was "family oriented."
SO SHE APOLOGIZED TO THIS MAN SAYING THAT I HAD A FEAR OF COMMITMENT!
I don't believe that people who really have a fear of commitment are able to commit to much at all. Me, I've been committed to jobs, pet ownership, and my family of origin.
9/14/13
IS THERE SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR YOU?
Sister here!
Reading over the article from AARP that I recently put up a link to, an article which says that one out of three Baby Boomers never married, I began to think about statistics.
I wonder if the people who are running those numbers about how many have never married have kept track of how many Baby Boomers never married, but who did have long term relationships living separate, or how many people were "just living together" without the "benefit of marriage." (How about how many of these people who never married have children?)
In truth I believe the long term celibate and long term alone-but-not-lonely who are also childless is a much smaller number, but yes, alone in old age can be difficult without a lot of money to buy the care you need and that just may be where a whole lot of us who used to think of ourselves as middle class are heading, speaking of years of economic downturn here in the USA.
Our society is accommodating these changes first by recognizing that the old roles of husband and wife are pretty much only sentimental favorites and then questioning what makes a marriage.
Marriage is first of all, despite all the romance that may move two people to make a legal commitment, an economic partnership which, for hundreds of years, had a lot to do with raising children who had your genes. The role of women has been and continues to be the CAREGIVER, if not of children then parents.
Today I'm also thinking about the idea, which I still see in print quite a bit, an idea both Old Fashioned and New Age, and that is the idea that FOR EVERY ONE THERE IS SOMEONE and that you will find your soul mate, your perfect partner.
I'm sorry, but I think the numbers of people who actually have a marriage with a Soul Mate are very few, and then they are, though it may be ridiculous, the envy of most everyone else.
The idea that there is someone out there "for" you, if only you could find them, is true has EVEN BEEN PROPAGATED BY PEOPLE WHO THEMSELVES HAD MARRIAGES THAT WERE ARRANGED by family, parents, or friends, even if it was simply an introduction for the purposes of marriage.
So you may ask yourself, how could people who married someone chosen for them could tell their grandchildren and great-grandchildren, especially when a romance fails and there is heartbreak, "Don't worry, there is some one out there for you. There is some one for everyone and he/she will move the earth to find you."
The truth is, their expectations about what makes a marriage are very different than yours and they may be honestly satisfied with how things worked out or were in the end. The truth is that they compromised by "making do" with someone who was "good enough" even if not perfect. THEY LEARNED TO LOVE THIS PERSON and ignore or accommodate their faults, after all who doesn't have faults? These people are also the ones who say things like "Lower your expectations. Or "Everyone settles."
If you're one of the Lonely Hearts out there, this may be very good advice, especially if you really want and need to be married. Because holding out for the impossible stops you from living and loving right here and now. It postpones marriage or partnership to the point where waiting for perfection is just foolery.
TO BE NMNK happily, is not to be NMNK on hold for marriage due to unrealistic and impossible expectations.
If you are reading this and you WANT AND NEED TO BE MARRIED, it's OK, I may be writing a blog about the NMNK experience and lifestyle as a positive, but I do understand that for some people it's a matter of Fate and Others Choice and for some an Accident or No Choice At All!
AN HONEST SELF EVALUATION IS THE FIRST STEP. You might ask yourself how it is you meet people, you might do a little research into your past relationships and ask yourself how they started and ended and what the issues were. I find the Rules For Dating books by Ellen and Sherrie to be interesting though I don't think all men are one way and all women are another. Taking the hint from these women, who have updated their dating philosophy to embrace on-line dating, it would seem that women are doing too much pursuing, too much making a relationship more than it is, and hanging in to a going nowhere relationship when they should be out there meeting more men. In other words, desperate.
If you are desperate in the dating stage you'll probably desperately hold onto a bad marriage too.
Is there something wrong with just having fun? If you have fun when dating, and then you do marry, that sense of humor may be just the thing when you have hard times and we all have hard times.
C 2013 Never Married No Kids - An Intentional Community / Sister
Reading over the article from AARP that I recently put up a link to, an article which says that one out of three Baby Boomers never married, I began to think about statistics.
I wonder if the people who are running those numbers about how many have never married have kept track of how many Baby Boomers never married, but who did have long term relationships living separate, or how many people were "just living together" without the "benefit of marriage." (How about how many of these people who never married have children?)
In truth I believe the long term celibate and long term alone-but-not-lonely who are also childless is a much smaller number, but yes, alone in old age can be difficult without a lot of money to buy the care you need and that just may be where a whole lot of us who used to think of ourselves as middle class are heading, speaking of years of economic downturn here in the USA.
Our society is accommodating these changes first by recognizing that the old roles of husband and wife are pretty much only sentimental favorites and then questioning what makes a marriage.
Marriage is first of all, despite all the romance that may move two people to make a legal commitment, an economic partnership which, for hundreds of years, had a lot to do with raising children who had your genes. The role of women has been and continues to be the CAREGIVER, if not of children then parents.
Today I'm also thinking about the idea, which I still see in print quite a bit, an idea both Old Fashioned and New Age, and that is the idea that FOR EVERY ONE THERE IS SOMEONE and that you will find your soul mate, your perfect partner.
I'm sorry, but I think the numbers of people who actually have a marriage with a Soul Mate are very few, and then they are, though it may be ridiculous, the envy of most everyone else.
The idea that there is someone out there "for" you, if only you could find them, is true has EVEN BEEN PROPAGATED BY PEOPLE WHO THEMSELVES HAD MARRIAGES THAT WERE ARRANGED by family, parents, or friends, even if it was simply an introduction for the purposes of marriage.
So you may ask yourself, how could people who married someone chosen for them could tell their grandchildren and great-grandchildren, especially when a romance fails and there is heartbreak, "Don't worry, there is some one out there for you. There is some one for everyone and he/she will move the earth to find you."
The truth is, their expectations about what makes a marriage are very different than yours and they may be honestly satisfied with how things worked out or were in the end. The truth is that they compromised by "making do" with someone who was "good enough" even if not perfect. THEY LEARNED TO LOVE THIS PERSON and ignore or accommodate their faults, after all who doesn't have faults? These people are also the ones who say things like "Lower your expectations. Or "Everyone settles."
If you're one of the Lonely Hearts out there, this may be very good advice, especially if you really want and need to be married. Because holding out for the impossible stops you from living and loving right here and now. It postpones marriage or partnership to the point where waiting for perfection is just foolery.
TO BE NMNK happily, is not to be NMNK on hold for marriage due to unrealistic and impossible expectations.
If you are reading this and you WANT AND NEED TO BE MARRIED, it's OK, I may be writing a blog about the NMNK experience and lifestyle as a positive, but I do understand that for some people it's a matter of Fate and Others Choice and for some an Accident or No Choice At All!
AN HONEST SELF EVALUATION IS THE FIRST STEP. You might ask yourself how it is you meet people, you might do a little research into your past relationships and ask yourself how they started and ended and what the issues were. I find the Rules For Dating books by Ellen and Sherrie to be interesting though I don't think all men are one way and all women are another. Taking the hint from these women, who have updated their dating philosophy to embrace on-line dating, it would seem that women are doing too much pursuing, too much making a relationship more than it is, and hanging in to a going nowhere relationship when they should be out there meeting more men. In other words, desperate.
If you are desperate in the dating stage you'll probably desperately hold onto a bad marriage too.
Is there something wrong with just having fun? If you have fun when dating, and then you do marry, that sense of humor may be just the thing when you have hard times and we all have hard times.
C 2013 Never Married No Kids - An Intentional Community / Sister
8/29/13
CHILDLESS MOTHERS CONNECT SITE - FREE MEMBERSHIP - FOR ALL WOMEN EVEN THOSE WHO HAVE NOT HAD CHILDREN
CHILDLESS MOTHERS CONNECT web site link here. VERY EXCITING! VERY PROACTIVE! Are YOU an ADORING AUNTIE?
8/27/13
AARP : BABY BOOMERS WHO NEVER MARRIED and SOCIAL SUPPORT
CHILDLESS WOMEN FUTURE CARE - SALLY ABRAHMS link to article
EXCERPT : As boomers care for their parents, or at least watch their friends in the throes, those with no children often wonder, “who will be there for me when I need help?”
With one in three boomers never married and some wed without kids, that’s a big question. Typically, it’s the spouse who does much of the caregiving, but with the growing rate of late-life divorce–saying “see ya, partner” after 20+ years of marriage—and women outliving men, that source of support may not be available.
So Marcy Cole, a Los Angeles social worker, conceived of an idea: to create a website for women childless by choice or circumstance. (The idea is that even if you don’t have your own child, you are a mother to someone—a sibling or other relative or friend, perhaps.)
EXCERPT : As boomers care for their parents, or at least watch their friends in the throes, those with no children often wonder, “who will be there for me when I need help?”
With one in three boomers never married and some wed without kids, that’s a big question. Typically, it’s the spouse who does much of the caregiving, but with the growing rate of late-life divorce–saying “see ya, partner” after 20+ years of marriage—and women outliving men, that source of support may not be available.
So Marcy Cole, a Los Angeles social worker, conceived of an idea: to create a website for women childless by choice or circumstance. (The idea is that even if you don’t have your own child, you are a mother to someone—a sibling or other relative or friend, perhaps.)
8/23/13
FUN FUN FUN IN THE SUMMERTIME
Summer is the expand out season of the year, even in places where the climate is less radical from season to season. It took me some years, coming from the wintery snowy weather, to notice the change of seasons in Southern California, but I took a lot of docent lead hikes in the mountains and soon enough I knew the difference between a native plant and an invader. By walking frequently I began to see the more subtle but beautiful changes in scenery. Summertime is the season for outdoor exercise - walking, swimming, sailing, and barbecues and picnics. It's the time of the year when the most flirtations happen because there is so much social going on. Summertime is CASUAL compared to all the other seasons, in clothing and attitudes. SUMMER IS THE TIME WHEN NMNK's WHO TEND TO ENJOY A LOT OF ALONE TIME CAN GO AND DO THINGS ALONE BUT IN GROUPS and MAKE NEW FRIENDS.
THE BEST EVENT OF ALL FOR NMNK's in SUMMER IS A NATURE HIKE OR SWIM UNDER A FULL MOON!
THE BEST EVENT OF ALL FOR NMNK's in SUMMER IS A NATURE HIKE OR SWIM UNDER A FULL MOON!
8/10/13
SATURDAY NIGHT ISN'T DATE NIGHT FOR THE NMNK!
Some of you are more COMMITTED to the NMNK lifestyle than others. For some dating, sex, relationships are part of life but getting married and having kids is not the goal. Having fun, getting to know others - and yourself - better, focusing on creating and establishing a business, making it through Grad School, or focusing on volunteer work may be the established goal of your life. You might think of being NMNK as temporary.
As always I find NMNK - An Intentional Community - gets lost in dating clubs and woe-is-me web sights, all focusing on what is wrong with life as is (or else why would someone spend time complaining?). I only wish those who are desperate to be in a relationship were as RESPECTFUL to my lifestyle and choices as I must be to them. That is simply not the case even though record numbers of individuals are not getting married or having kids, which just might be GOOD FOR THE WORLD when it comes to limiting the population.
For many MARRIED WITH KIDS means there will hardly ever be a date night for the spouses. Which shows it can be done.
For me Saturday night has long ago ceased to be a night that I plan to be out. I prefer in, especially because I have so many interests and hobbies that I like to pursue. Sometimes I ask a friend over.
Alone but not Lonely,
Sister
As always I find NMNK - An Intentional Community - gets lost in dating clubs and woe-is-me web sights, all focusing on what is wrong with life as is (or else why would someone spend time complaining?). I only wish those who are desperate to be in a relationship were as RESPECTFUL to my lifestyle and choices as I must be to them. That is simply not the case even though record numbers of individuals are not getting married or having kids, which just might be GOOD FOR THE WORLD when it comes to limiting the population.
For many MARRIED WITH KIDS means there will hardly ever be a date night for the spouses. Which shows it can be done.
For me Saturday night has long ago ceased to be a night that I plan to be out. I prefer in, especially because I have so many interests and hobbies that I like to pursue. Sometimes I ask a friend over.
Alone but not Lonely,
Sister
7/16/13
DAN BROWN'S INFERNO FOCUSES ON WORLD OVER POPULATION
Dan Brown's latest best seller, "Inferno", has all the plot pretzels we've come to expect from this author, and also, as he did in his previous best seller, "Angels and Demons", the confusion of which characters are good and which are bad until the very end. As expected Professor Robert Langdon, the expert on Symbolism in art and architecture and the Art Masters who has a reoccuring role in Brown's stories, has an attractive and intelligent female side kick who gets into the game early on.
Like the title says, the art history focus in "Inferno" is on the artist Dante whose painting The Inferno, and long poem "The Divine Comedy", gave medieval Christians a version of hell.
With an eye always to his books going to film, Brown seems to be willing to create some strong and intelligent female characters and Langdon is always having flirtations but holding himself in Professorial check. There will be no acts of procreation here.
I'm writing about this book for NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS - An Intentional Community because in this book, Brown focuses on the overpopulation of the world and the people who want to depopulate by any means as way of preserving humans as a species.
A brilliant scientist has set up the chase through art and architecture under deadline pressure by hiding a virus he created in a place where it can be carried around the world airborn and leaving clues as to where it might be found before he himself commits suicide.
In this case the means to solve world overpopulation is a virus that will make 2/3rds of the population sterile. The virus changes some people's DNA. As it spreads the infected suffer no illnesses and are unaware they've been changed. It will take a couple years before already living begin to die out naturally and some of the already living discover there is a sterility epidemic.
Is this the compassionate way when the alternative is for so many children to be born to suffering and death as happens today? Is it time to take the decision or choice away from humans since so much currently in place is not having a profound effect and better health care and the extension of life is in conflict with the realities of starvation and disease?
In "Inferno" you'll find more than one female character who is NMNK !
If Brown has an agenda in his writing overall, it just may be the attack on the Catholic Church which he was first accused of when he became famous with his book "The DaVinci Code." In "Angels and Demons" he took us to the Vatican, and here we are in Italy and Turkey, racing around the worlds art and architecture treasures where tourist season is always on.
I'm not going to attack the Catholic Church. It wouldn't be right since the Catholic Church is not the cause for overpopulation. Sure, you will have more children if you don't use contraception. The Church is against artificial methods but not against celibacy, abstinence, or the rhythm method (for which there is now a small bedside machine that used daily alerts a woman to when she is ovulating.) Women of other religions and varieties of Christianity also have many children - think the Latter Day Saints, the Southern Baptists, Hindus, Muslims. Really, many cultures think women are meant to be mothers.
The Catholic Church also recommends marrying for the right reasons (premarital classes), staying married (marriage is an oath to God and a Blessed Sacrament), and having children within marriage. It emphasises personal responsibility. In the ever more secular United States most Catholics are using contraception. And as a nation, though it is being challenged, we are lucky to have abortion as a choice, unlike in China where abortions are forced.
So, if Brown has a thing against the Catholic Church in his writing that comes from his personal belief system, then here I must discuss it only as a literary theme in his work, and in this book where indeed the Church is blamed for some of the overpopulation of the world; he must mean by Catholics outside the United States.
Knowing that you're not contributing to the over population of the world can be nice, but knowing that we may be reaching to point where we can no longer support all the human life on earth and that there is so much suffering is not so.
Like the title says, the art history focus in "Inferno" is on the artist Dante whose painting The Inferno, and long poem "The Divine Comedy", gave medieval Christians a version of hell.
With an eye always to his books going to film, Brown seems to be willing to create some strong and intelligent female characters and Langdon is always having flirtations but holding himself in Professorial check. There will be no acts of procreation here.
I'm writing about this book for NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS - An Intentional Community because in this book, Brown focuses on the overpopulation of the world and the people who want to depopulate by any means as way of preserving humans as a species.
A brilliant scientist has set up the chase through art and architecture under deadline pressure by hiding a virus he created in a place where it can be carried around the world airborn and leaving clues as to where it might be found before he himself commits suicide.
In this case the means to solve world overpopulation is a virus that will make 2/3rds of the population sterile. The virus changes some people's DNA. As it spreads the infected suffer no illnesses and are unaware they've been changed. It will take a couple years before already living begin to die out naturally and some of the already living discover there is a sterility epidemic.
Is this the compassionate way when the alternative is for so many children to be born to suffering and death as happens today? Is it time to take the decision or choice away from humans since so much currently in place is not having a profound effect and better health care and the extension of life is in conflict with the realities of starvation and disease?
In "Inferno" you'll find more than one female character who is NMNK !
If Brown has an agenda in his writing overall, it just may be the attack on the Catholic Church which he was first accused of when he became famous with his book "The DaVinci Code." In "Angels and Demons" he took us to the Vatican, and here we are in Italy and Turkey, racing around the worlds art and architecture treasures where tourist season is always on.
I'm not going to attack the Catholic Church. It wouldn't be right since the Catholic Church is not the cause for overpopulation. Sure, you will have more children if you don't use contraception. The Church is against artificial methods but not against celibacy, abstinence, or the rhythm method (for which there is now a small bedside machine that used daily alerts a woman to when she is ovulating.) Women of other religions and varieties of Christianity also have many children - think the Latter Day Saints, the Southern Baptists, Hindus, Muslims. Really, many cultures think women are meant to be mothers.
The Catholic Church also recommends marrying for the right reasons (premarital classes), staying married (marriage is an oath to God and a Blessed Sacrament), and having children within marriage. It emphasises personal responsibility. In the ever more secular United States most Catholics are using contraception. And as a nation, though it is being challenged, we are lucky to have abortion as a choice, unlike in China where abortions are forced.
So, if Brown has a thing against the Catholic Church in his writing that comes from his personal belief system, then here I must discuss it only as a literary theme in his work, and in this book where indeed the Church is blamed for some of the overpopulation of the world; he must mean by Catholics outside the United States.
Knowing that you're not contributing to the over population of the world can be nice, but knowing that we may be reaching to point where we can no longer support all the human life on earth and that there is so much suffering is not so.
6/16/13
SISTER SPEAKS : BABY BUMPS ARE THE HOT ACCESSORY FOR WOMEN
SISTER SPEAKS : BABY BUMPS ARE THE HOT ACCESSORY FOR WOMEN!
My first instinct is that men (still) have it better in every way than women. But since this blog is about NMNKS's and intends to be supportive or people who have chosen not to marry or have children, I want to give consideration to my men readers, who are of both gay and straight sexuality.
I think gay men have it worse than men in general.
But I think gay women have it worse than gay men.
The reason I think that a NMNK heterosexual male has it easier than a NMNK heterosexual female is that there is historical support for the bachelor, who is seen as someone justifiably busy with this career, be that the military or rock and roll, or his avocation - even if that is a Player.
The world is still sexist enough to assume that when a man does something it has to be more important than if a woman does the same something - except when it comes to parenting.
But hey, men are becoming sperm doners (and nothing but) in record numbers, stranding their conquests and making those few minutes of loving or fucking a career of (single) motherhood for the woman. Some have even 22 children with many different women and are on the Public Dole, and not getting too much hell for it. A man can still claim bachelorhood and be cool even when he has children because he deposited them with his BABY MAMA.
WHEN A WOMAN HAS CHILDREN HER LIFE IS DEFINED BY MOTHERHOOD. WHEN A MAN HAS CHILDREN HIS LIFE IS STILL DEFINED BY WHAT ELSE HE DOES! I'm sorry, but while things have been s l o w l y improving for women, not much. Women are still burdened by more parenting, care-giving, and housework.
It seems I lived my life trying to prove to myself and others that YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO BE DEFINED BY YOUR BIOLOGY, THAT BEING BORN IN A FEMALE BODY DOESN'T MEAN THAT I AM OR AM NOT GOOD AT CERTAIN BEHAVIORS OR ACTIVITIES, THAN BEING BORN FEMALE SHOULD NOT EXCLUDE ME FROM OPPORTUNITIES OR LIFE EXPERIENCES TAKEN FOR GRANTED BY MALES.
When I was in my twenties television shows such as the one that promotes gay males as having an INNATE ABILITY TO DESIGN like "Queer Eye" would have been an outrage. But now we are tolerant of the idea that this is so BIOLOGICAL.
Occupations such as Hairdressing, Interior Design, Cooking, occupations that were once PINK GHETTO because women were thought to be good innately are DOMINATED by men who usually get paid more or have more successful businesses doing what women used to be choose from.
BIOLOGY HAS BECOME THE REASON AND EXCUSE for a lot of things.
PMS for murder, for instance. (P l e e z e !)
30 years ago we would have been very upset about all the products for kids that are either girly pink or boyly blue out there. We would not have wanted to raise our children with toys that would limit their experiences. We would have let our boys play with dolls and are girls with guns, if we were not against violence.
Now I talk to teenage women and they talk to me about their nails. They seem to be more interested in nails (and getting men) then anything else. That has to be RETRO but they think its MOD!
I never met anyone in my high school who was obsessed with their nails. Even the females (and one male) who polished theirs had better things to do with their lives than obsess about their nails as a fashion statement that would clue the world into WHO THEY ARE. Nails were just part of GROOMING!
Today, going back 50 years to magazines focused on celebrities, Babies - Pregnancies - and CELEBRITY MOMS (the Kardashians as a big example) make the headlines. ALL THOSE BABY BUMPS. YES BABIES ARE THE ACCESSORY ITEM FOR WOMEN.
We NMNK don't do babies as accessories!
But we're still HOT!
Sister
C 2013 All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights
My first instinct is that men (still) have it better in every way than women. But since this blog is about NMNKS's and intends to be supportive or people who have chosen not to marry or have children, I want to give consideration to my men readers, who are of both gay and straight sexuality.
I think gay men have it worse than men in general.
But I think gay women have it worse than gay men.
The reason I think that a NMNK heterosexual male has it easier than a NMNK heterosexual female is that there is historical support for the bachelor, who is seen as someone justifiably busy with this career, be that the military or rock and roll, or his avocation - even if that is a Player.
The world is still sexist enough to assume that when a man does something it has to be more important than if a woman does the same something - except when it comes to parenting.
But hey, men are becoming sperm doners (and nothing but) in record numbers, stranding their conquests and making those few minutes of loving or fucking a career of (single) motherhood for the woman. Some have even 22 children with many different women and are on the Public Dole, and not getting too much hell for it. A man can still claim bachelorhood and be cool even when he has children because he deposited them with his BABY MAMA.
WHEN A WOMAN HAS CHILDREN HER LIFE IS DEFINED BY MOTHERHOOD. WHEN A MAN HAS CHILDREN HIS LIFE IS STILL DEFINED BY WHAT ELSE HE DOES! I'm sorry, but while things have been s l o w l y improving for women, not much. Women are still burdened by more parenting, care-giving, and housework.
It seems I lived my life trying to prove to myself and others that YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO BE DEFINED BY YOUR BIOLOGY, THAT BEING BORN IN A FEMALE BODY DOESN'T MEAN THAT I AM OR AM NOT GOOD AT CERTAIN BEHAVIORS OR ACTIVITIES, THAN BEING BORN FEMALE SHOULD NOT EXCLUDE ME FROM OPPORTUNITIES OR LIFE EXPERIENCES TAKEN FOR GRANTED BY MALES.
When I was in my twenties television shows such as the one that promotes gay males as having an INNATE ABILITY TO DESIGN like "Queer Eye" would have been an outrage. But now we are tolerant of the idea that this is so BIOLOGICAL.
Occupations such as Hairdressing, Interior Design, Cooking, occupations that were once PINK GHETTO because women were thought to be good innately are DOMINATED by men who usually get paid more or have more successful businesses doing what women used to be choose from.
BIOLOGY HAS BECOME THE REASON AND EXCUSE for a lot of things.
PMS for murder, for instance. (P l e e z e !)
30 years ago we would have been very upset about all the products for kids that are either girly pink or boyly blue out there. We would not have wanted to raise our children with toys that would limit their experiences. We would have let our boys play with dolls and are girls with guns, if we were not against violence.
Now I talk to teenage women and they talk to me about their nails. They seem to be more interested in nails (and getting men) then anything else. That has to be RETRO but they think its MOD!
I never met anyone in my high school who was obsessed with their nails. Even the females (and one male) who polished theirs had better things to do with their lives than obsess about their nails as a fashion statement that would clue the world into WHO THEY ARE. Nails were just part of GROOMING!
Today, going back 50 years to magazines focused on celebrities, Babies - Pregnancies - and CELEBRITY MOMS (the Kardashians as a big example) make the headlines. ALL THOSE BABY BUMPS. YES BABIES ARE THE ACCESSORY ITEM FOR WOMEN.
We NMNK don't do babies as accessories!
But we're still HOT!
Sister
C 2013 All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights
5/11/13
YOU CAN LOVE YOUR MOM WITHOUT WANTING TO BE ONE
It's True, you can love your mom and be Happily Infertile, Childfree By Choice, Celibate... or simply NOT READY TO HAVE CHILDREN. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT MARRIED. Yes you can be a NMNK and still love your mom.
But you may not like your mom much if she's one of those pushy women who is trying to get you married so you can have "her" grandchildren. ...Matchmaking you when you don't want to be, telling other people that you have a problem with commitment when you don't...nagging at you...
I have a cousin with a mother like that. (Luckily she isn't the side of the family that supplies me my genes!)
I told my cousin, "She has no right to demand or expect that of you."
But Mom Z. does.
It's time for this mom to go find something else to do with her elder years than wait around to be a grandma or live her life through others, even if it's her own daughter.
Not only does Mom Z. have her daughter's life planned out for her daughter, she has her daughters life planned out for herself! SELFISH!
Mom Z. has been a control freak and overly involved in her daughter's life for a long time.
As some of you know I haven't posted for several weeks, which is probably an all-time record of absence since I began this blog. I noticed it slip down in rank because I wasn't posting and - to my horror - I saw so very many more sites that are ALL ABOUT WHAT'S "WRONG" with a person that they are 30 and still not married, 40 and still not married, 50 and still not married... It's pathetic!
But you may not like your mom much if she's one of those pushy women who is trying to get you married so you can have "her" grandchildren. ...Matchmaking you when you don't want to be, telling other people that you have a problem with commitment when you don't...nagging at you...
I have a cousin with a mother like that. (Luckily she isn't the side of the family that supplies me my genes!)
I told my cousin, "She has no right to demand or expect that of you."
But Mom Z. does.
It's time for this mom to go find something else to do with her elder years than wait around to be a grandma or live her life through others, even if it's her own daughter.
Not only does Mom Z. have her daughter's life planned out for her daughter, she has her daughters life planned out for herself! SELFISH!
Mom Z. has been a control freak and overly involved in her daughter's life for a long time.
As some of you know I haven't posted for several weeks, which is probably an all-time record of absence since I began this blog. I noticed it slip down in rank because I wasn't posting and - to my horror - I saw so very many more sites that are ALL ABOUT WHAT'S "WRONG" with a person that they are 30 and still not married, 40 and still not married, 50 and still not married... It's pathetic!
2/26/13
TAYLOR SWIFT : GET OFF HER BACK ALREADY!
GET OFF TAYLOR SWIFT's BACK ALREADY!
Over the last few months I've been increasingly sensitized by the way that media - mostly magazines and tabloids - have been closely following the young singer-songwriter Taylor Swift's love life. One article after another has put her on the spot about her love life, why she does or doesn't have a steady boyfriend, or is not heading towards (early) marriage and/or children. It's almost as if they want her to explain or apologize. Things got worse when she ended or he ended the relationship with a Kennedy.
So many young women feel this pressure when they are decidedly career oriented or feel that marriage and children are commitments and responsibilities that they wish to delay or avoid all together. In Taylor Swift's case THIS IS THE SAD SIDE OF FAME.
What's wrong with not being heavily invested in getting married? Certainly Taylor is not the first or last young woman who wants to date for fun, or date for self-knowledge, rather than to date for marriage.
The hounding by the media of this extremely creative, capable, talented, possibly musical genius, as well as gorgeous woman, makes me sick.
Of course some of the problem here is not journalists desperate to make a story. It's also the psychologists desperate to propagate their profession, pathologizing the choice to be NMNK - even when someone is only in their early 20's.
There is always some psychologist or MFCC who wants to appear to be the expert on record who takes a public jab at someone they will never see in their office, and if they did THEN THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE CONFIDENTIAL ISN'T IT!?
Meanwhile, look who went ahead and bred a couple children - and wants more - even though she is mentally ill, does not have a stable relationship or marriage, and is in fact under someone else's custody...and is no stay at home mom to raise them.
You know who I mean.
C Sister 2013 / Never Married No Kids Blog. All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights
Over the last few months I've been increasingly sensitized by the way that media - mostly magazines and tabloids - have been closely following the young singer-songwriter Taylor Swift's love life. One article after another has put her on the spot about her love life, why she does or doesn't have a steady boyfriend, or is not heading towards (early) marriage and/or children. It's almost as if they want her to explain or apologize. Things got worse when she ended or he ended the relationship with a Kennedy.
So many young women feel this pressure when they are decidedly career oriented or feel that marriage and children are commitments and responsibilities that they wish to delay or avoid all together. In Taylor Swift's case THIS IS THE SAD SIDE OF FAME.
What's wrong with not being heavily invested in getting married? Certainly Taylor is not the first or last young woman who wants to date for fun, or date for self-knowledge, rather than to date for marriage.
The hounding by the media of this extremely creative, capable, talented, possibly musical genius, as well as gorgeous woman, makes me sick.
Of course some of the problem here is not journalists desperate to make a story. It's also the psychologists desperate to propagate their profession, pathologizing the choice to be NMNK - even when someone is only in their early 20's.
There is always some psychologist or MFCC who wants to appear to be the expert on record who takes a public jab at someone they will never see in their office, and if they did THEN THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE CONFIDENTIAL ISN'T IT!?
Meanwhile, look who went ahead and bred a couple children - and wants more - even though she is mentally ill, does not have a stable relationship or marriage, and is in fact under someone else's custody...and is no stay at home mom to raise them.
You know who I mean.
C Sister 2013 / Never Married No Kids Blog. All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights
1/16/13
CANADA NMNK! LIVING IN BACHELOR TOWNHOUSES IN TORONTO? FREEDOM OR EROSION OF SOCIETY
LIVING ALONE : A TESTAMENT TO FREEDOM OR AN EROSION OF SOCIETY article by Zosia Bielski from the Globe and Mail link here!
EXCERPT: There are now, for the first time, more one-person households in Canada than those populated by couples who have children. (Only two-person households are more common.)
EXCERPT: There are now, for the first time, more one-person households in Canada than those populated by couples who have children. (Only two-person households are more common.)
1/14/13
2013 BRINGS US A NEW OPPORTUNITY TO DESIGN OUR OWN WHOLE LIVES? WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Sister here!
Although I know we can decide at any time to make resolutions, or new goals, I'm probably like you. I look to the new year to be the time to start.
I was reading that the number one goal of Americans is to loose weight (especially the weight recently acquired due to holiday over eating!) Well, I could probably loose ten pounds, but I'm not worrying over it. Overall I'm satisfied with my life.
Sure there are a few things I'd like to do that I'm not. I'd like more time and energy and money. (Are you laughing with me?)
Hmm. What to do first?
Today I'm thinking about the people who swear they are going to redesign their entire lives. Basically, they are unhappy with just about everything. Thus the whole life makeover in contemplation!
If your life as a NMNK is not happy, and you know the source of that unhappiness is that you ARE a NMNK, well, you may be able to focus on getting married and/or having a child. Being more traditional than many, I think the married should come first. However, some of you may have 8 days in your week, extreme energy and loads of money in the bank as well as a huge extended family that provides free child care or raising the child in a "village." (Woops! I forgot to mention easy fertility!)
Most people I know are very busy earning a living and feel that they do not have enough time to focus on themselves. They scramble to get things done on work nights so that once in a while they can take an entire weekend and go out of town. Make that scramble and lie to their boss about being sick on a Friday, so they can take off 3 whole days in a row! (Some people love to travel alone too!)
Sometimes it seems to me that economics - money - earning it - spending it - having enough - feeling that we have enough - is the key issue for the majority.
But I have to ask. DO YOU DREAD MONDAY?
It's easy to say to someone quite young that they can just change jobs and be done with the bad boss, or the bad business, or whatever. Not so easy for most people. It's true that a NMNK may be totally unencumbered with the issue of having to support other people, though some are caregivers for their parents.
When it comes right down to it, what is the one thing that you want that will make all the difference in your life?
Although I know we can decide at any time to make resolutions, or new goals, I'm probably like you. I look to the new year to be the time to start.
I was reading that the number one goal of Americans is to loose weight (especially the weight recently acquired due to holiday over eating!) Well, I could probably loose ten pounds, but I'm not worrying over it. Overall I'm satisfied with my life.
Sure there are a few things I'd like to do that I'm not. I'd like more time and energy and money. (Are you laughing with me?)
Hmm. What to do first?
Today I'm thinking about the people who swear they are going to redesign their entire lives. Basically, they are unhappy with just about everything. Thus the whole life makeover in contemplation!
If your life as a NMNK is not happy, and you know the source of that unhappiness is that you ARE a NMNK, well, you may be able to focus on getting married and/or having a child. Being more traditional than many, I think the married should come first. However, some of you may have 8 days in your week, extreme energy and loads of money in the bank as well as a huge extended family that provides free child care or raising the child in a "village." (Woops! I forgot to mention easy fertility!)
Most people I know are very busy earning a living and feel that they do not have enough time to focus on themselves. They scramble to get things done on work nights so that once in a while they can take an entire weekend and go out of town. Make that scramble and lie to their boss about being sick on a Friday, so they can take off 3 whole days in a row! (Some people love to travel alone too!)
Sometimes it seems to me that economics - money - earning it - spending it - having enough - feeling that we have enough - is the key issue for the majority.
But I have to ask. DO YOU DREAD MONDAY?
It's easy to say to someone quite young that they can just change jobs and be done with the bad boss, or the bad business, or whatever. Not so easy for most people. It's true that a NMNK may be totally unencumbered with the issue of having to support other people, though some are caregivers for their parents.
When it comes right down to it, what is the one thing that you want that will make all the difference in your life?
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