THE LIE THAT YOU CAN'T MAKE A COMMITMENT

ARE PEOPLE WHO CHOOSE TO BE NMNK really unable to make a commitment to another person. Is that the "real reason" the person is unmarried, maybe even unable to venture into relationships?

This idea is popular among THERAPISTS who at this point believe that everyone is diagnosable and with every diagnosis there is a medication to take, though in this case "fear of commitment" will likely respond to an antidepressant! 

Here is how it goes.  You seek therapy because you are unhappy.  Most often you are unhappy because of your relationships.  The therapist wants to dig first of all into your relationship with your parents, then your siblings, and so on.  But you know, there are some situations that are not worth fixing, that are best to give up on, though that may be painful. 

As I see it, anyone who ruins their own life blaming their parents for it, is probably just using that as an excuse.  Maybe in your twenties but when is the turning point?  I know someone who is now near 60 who is still explaining to women he goes on dates with about his parent's bad marriage.  Please! 

This idea, that you may not want to be married as a problem with commitment, is also popular among family members and friends who want to be embarrassed by their children and friends who are living what they consider to be an unconventional lifestyle. I would guess there are those who would rather say their son or daughter is in a committed gay relationship than say that there child is simply NMNK!

Yes, I believe these things because over time I've experienced hearing people make excuses for me, when no excuses are/were needed. I've heard things - usually not to my face - but around.

For instance, a relative of mine, someone who in the end proved to be deceitful, decided to introduce me to a man who while educated and handsome was looking for a wife so he could stay in the United States. Yes, he was "age appropriate."

Since then I have been approached just walking down the street by men from Israel, India, Iran, who must be looking for women who are not wearing wedding rings, looking for someone to marry their friend, to keep him in the country!  These people who are from more traditional religions or cultures actually have tried to sell me on marrying them as if this marriage of convenience would be good for me!  Excuse me?

She invited him to a THANKSGIVING DINNER that she knew I would attend and didn't even have the respect to ask me if I wanted an introduction before hand, so there I went and it was so embarrassing! First of all, I'm not a pawn in her schemes and secondly, she showed no respect for what I had said about myself and my interests in conversations with her previously. I said I was not interested in having children. She told this man I was "family oriented."

SO SHE APOLOGIZED TO THIS MAN SAYING THAT I HAD A FEAR OF COMMITMENT!

I don't believe that people who really have a fear of commitment are able to commit to much at all.  Me, I've been committed to jobs, pet ownership, and my family of origin.