I MEET A 71 YEAR OLD VIRGIN AT THE GROCER! (AND THE 22 YEAR OLD VIRGIN MASS MURDERER - UC SANTA BARBARA!)

 I MEET A 71 YEAR OLD VIRGIN AT THE GROCER!  (AND THE 22 YEAR OLD VIRGIN MASS MURDERER - UC SANTA BARBARA!)

She was one of several of us who were in the back of the grocer looking at discounted products.  We got to talking about the latest mass murderer (not serial killer) the 22 year old virgin who killed 6 and then himself, and left another dozen or so wounded in the town Isla Vista near UC Santa Barbara.  I said "SO WHAT HE WAS A 22 YEAR OLD VIRGIN! Used to be that just about everyone who wasn't married by 22 was a virgin.  Plenty of really intelligent people wait until they are old enough for responsibility to have sex!"

She blurted "Well, I'm a 71 year old virgin!"

I said, " CONGRATULATIONS!"

She said "I never married because I was always someone's CAREGIVER!  Now that I'm retired my income is too low to go out and meet people."

I suggested a senior center in the next town that has some good inexpensive trips for 55 and over.

YOU KNOW SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST FEEL LIKE SHARING WITH FRIENDLY STRANGERS!

By the way, she looked 10 years younger at least.  This is something I've observed in the NMNK.  Many look much younger than they are.  Having and raising children, especially if you also work full time, is stressful and aging.

I supposed we will have to include the 22 year old virgin mass murderer as NMNK!

(First posed on  June 7, 2014)

LIZA MINNELLI : OLD FRIEND and LIVE ALONE AND LIKE IT

LIZA MINNELLI : OLD FRIEND and LIVE ALONE AND LIKE IT

(First published September 14, 2012)

VALENTINES DAY NIGHTMARE? OR A CELEBRATION OF FRIENDSHIP?

(first posted February 6, 2008)

Valentines Day is a nightmare for many NMNK. It's the height of the season for romance and you don't have any, not that you really mind, but you can feel acute condemnation about now from all those people who think your Big Mistake was not getting married.

Fortunately Valentines Day is NOT JUST FOR THE COUPLES. It is a day to express love and appreciation for ANYONE in our lives who is special.

Why Not Send Out a Dozen Valentines to Friends?

NEVER MARRIED WOMEN FACE SOCIAL STIGMA STILL

  NEVER MARRIED WOMEN FACE SOCIAL STIGMA STILL

"In 2009, approximately 40 percent of adults were single, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. In a new study, "I'm a Loser, I'm Not Married, Let's Just All Look at Me," a University of Missouri researcher examined the familial and societal messages given to women who are not married by their mid-30's. Although the number of single women has increased, the stigma associated with being single at that age has not diminished, according to the women in this study. "We found that never-married women's social environments are characterized by pressure to conform to the conventional life pathway," said Larry Ganong, co-chair of Human Development and Family Studies in the College of Human Environmental Sciences." LINK to the article by clicking on the title of this post!

(First published August 11, 2011) 

Note that if you put I'm a Loser, I'm Not Married, Let's Just All Look at Me into a search engines, a number of academic/research abstracts re this article will come up.)

ELLEN PECK'S BABY TRAP HELPED ME DECIDE

ELLEN PECK'S BABY TRAP HELPED ME DECIDE

MINNESOTA PUBLIC RADIO - ABOUT ELLEN PECK AND THE BABY TRAP link

 She used the term "non-parent."

I once had a brochure by the group Ellen founded, the non-parents, that was full of questions a  person should ask themselves to help themselves decide if they wanted a baby now or at all.  I can't recall how I came to possess it.  One of the questions was "Do I want a child only if it is a girl or only if it is a boy child?" 

I realized early that I was not ready to parent.  Realizing the responsibility - especially financial - that I was not up to, I decided to either use contraception or avoid sex because abortion was not an option.  (Today I am pro-Choice.  I know contraception is not perfect.  I've met people who got pregnant anyway, despite using the Pill, the Diaphram, the IUD, even someone who got pregnant after a Tubal!) 

I left the option open that maybe if I married, and had a good marriage, after some time I might change my mind, but I always told men I was dating that I didn't think I wanted any children.  That may have hurt my prospects, but so be it. 

As the years went by, I realized that I did not want to be a mother, even if I married someone who could afford a nanny. 

KYLIE MINOGUE : FINER FEELINGS

KYLIE MINOGUE : FINER FEELINGS

LET THE LADIES AGAINST WOMEN REMIND YOU...

A YouTube presentation, film by Tim Wessel.

Let the Ladies Against Women REMIND YOU of some of the reasons MARRIAGE has been a raw deal for women, and what feminism is about. This is a 2003 performance of the Ladies Against Women, who also perform in parades such as the Do Da Parade that is held in Pasadena, California - a remedy for the Rose Bowl.

Seriously though, did you form a bad opinion about marriage due to feminist enlightenment?

(First posted on Feb 2, 2008)

STRANGE BUT TRUE : MOST OF MY FRIENDS ARE FIRST OR ONLY CHILDREN! DOES BIRTH ORDER HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH BEING AN NMNK?

STRANGE BUT TRUE : MOST OF MY FRIENDS ARE FIRST OR ONLY CHILDREN!  DOES BIRTH ORDER HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH BEING AN NMNK?

Sister here : Recently I realized that most of my friends are first or only children - and they were born mostly before have 2.5 children was the norm! (I wonder what the psychologists who believe in birth order are going to do about that "middle child" in their analysis?)

As a child- those first five years that they say are so vital - I had lots of neighbor children and cousins to play with. But as much as I liked playing with other children I also started honing quiet time for myself because I took to reading early and also loved making art projects.

I WONDER IF THERE ARE ANY STATS ON BIRTH ORDER AND NMNK?!

(First published July 25, 2011)

 

ASEXUALITY : A HOT TOPIC : HOW IT'S DIFFERENT FROM CELIBACY ?

 ASEXUALITY : A HOT TOPIC : HOW IT'S DIFFERENT FROM CELIBACY ?

I get a whole lot of hits on my post about ASEXUAL CELEBRITIES. A person who is asexual feels as though they are devoid of sexual motivation or sexual nature. They may be a very loving person, a sensual person, but they just don't get into sex. They can love deeply but see no need or have little to no interest in taking that love into the physical. This is the perfect way to be if you're a person who is spiritually based and participating in religious life that requires celibacy. A person may be asexual for a while or for life. They may be married and have children but no longer be interested. CELIBACY is not participating in sexual contact with other people as a chosen lifestyle, at least temporarily (the sexual fast after a break up and before another involvement for instance.) The person might like sex, even love sex, but feel that for now it's time out. While many asexuals are celibate, many celibates struggle with attractions, despite their decisions. I think the difference is motivation or attitudes. NMNK is a blog for everyone who is NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS, and being asexual or celibate are two possible ways to be NMNK.

(First published June 12, 2012)