GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

Hello everyone.

I want to assure you I am well.

And still NMNK.

What happened is that I stepped away because of all the changes in my life due to the pandemic, which I hope is on the verge of being over.

What happened also is that I've had a bit too much time to think.

I thought about why I'm not interested in dating.

I thought about various things idiots (including sexist women) have said to me, simply because I'm not married.

For some people being divorced is better publicity than being never married.

For some people being married repeatedly is better than realizing marriage is not for them.

For some people, proving you're "normal" even if it means being with a bad man, is better than seeming to be "abnormal" because you would rather have no man than a bad man.

As a heterosexual woman, I speak for myself, but I do know that men face similar issues, even though Bachelors are rather admired.  I think men's families put pressure on them too.

I'm not against sex, good relationships, or commitment.

I am for being self aware and honest in relationships.

This is all for now.

Thanks for reading!

NMNK as VOTERS

It's my guess that NMNK's tend to be a liberal group because we are discriminated against and that has to make a person sensitive to discrimination in general.

Though many more people are CHOOSING to not marry and/or have children these days, there is still a stigma.  How intensely you experience it may have  LOT TO DO WITH YOUR ETHNIC BACKGROUND, RELIGIOUS UNBRINGING and HOW CONSERVATIVE YOUR FAMILY IS.

I'd love to hear from you NMNKs!

Did you vote?  Who did you vote for and WHY.  What party are you part of?

What legislation and laws do you think are needed to free NMNBK from discrimination?

Sister

NMNK CAN HAVE IMPACT ON VOTES FOR CHILDREN - SCHOOL BOARDS - COVID REMODELING - ETC.

I'll admit it.  Since I'm NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS - Childless by Choice - though I don't think too many women can chose to be single mothers responsibly - I know very little about schools in my city. 

I've never had to move to be in a better school district. I've never had to negotiate the private versus public versus charter schools dilemma.  I've never had to personally worry about the quality of education any child of mine might have.  I've never had to have a child tested for learning disabilities.  Or wonder how they might make it physically to a school. Or if they got along with their school peers. I never had to be part of a carpool to get children to events or sports. I can't imagine how frazzled I'd be having all this to deal with on top of everything I already deal with.

However, there's a perception out there that NMNK do not like or care about children.  Some don't but few people live a totally child-free existence.  If you're the member of a family, likely someone has children.  You may be an honorary aunt or uncle. And you may still care about children because they are the next generation.

There are so many child and school related issues to vote about, I urge you to study them.  Decisions such as who to vote for on a school board - ask a teacher or parents in your neighborhood what they think.  Funding for Covid rehab projects: I guess we can't afford not to go into debt over this.

The children in my neighborhood are all seemingly moping around.  Heck, I've been moping around too. They have had months of no school.  Some parents have been able to home school.  Others are not home or not qualified. You can ride your bike alone for only so long without wanting other kids to ride along with. You can skip birthday parties or be part of a car caravan - but hey, it's getting B O R I N G and there is worry in the air.  Will a generation be far behind in school?  In 18 years will colleges have trouble attracting enough students, if they are still in existence.

Already the rate of births is way down.  People who want children but are facing economic uncertainty are waiting to purposely have children.  This is noble of them.

Children really do need a whole lot.

Sister

CRAZY WOMAN WANTS CHILDLESS WOMEN BANNED FROM DISNEYLAND

DAILY MAIL : VIRAL MOTHER'S RANT - WANTS CHILDLESS WOMEN BANNED FROM DISNEYLAND

It started a few years ago but picked up speed recently.  A bigoted crazy person wanted childless WOMEN (what, no mention of MEN?) BANNED FROM DISNEYLAND? She was especially targeting "immature millennials."

There are times when you just feel like blowing up at MOTHERS (and FATHERS) who act like they need special attention and praise for their parenting.

My guess is that this particular mother was impatient, demanding, and spoiled herself.

As for immature millennials, when you PLAN on bringing children into the world - when you are ready to in every way - that is selfless - that is mature. I realize that some millennials never want to leave home, but when you're brought up on Disney, DISNEYLAND can be a good time.

Geeeeez!

RADIO TALK SHOW HOSTS SEE NOT HAVING FAMILY AND CHILDREN AS PROOF OF MENTAL INSTABILITY AND CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR

Damn!  I'm so glad I have this blog to rant on.
By the way, I'm fine. 

I was listening to a talk show on the radio, station KFI, for a short while the other day.  The hosts (men) actually were talking against people who do not have marriages and families.  These men are conservative over all, however, what I was hearing was disgusting.

I THOUGHT, what if every NMNK person who reads this called the station and said that this anti singleton, anti childless by choice rhetoric is bigotry and discrimination. ???

These men were trying to figure out what kind of people indulge themselves in violent protests.

I'll admit that not having a spouse or partner or children to think of might make a person feel that if they get hurt physically or die or get arrested and make themselves unemployable, it wouldn't hurt those people.  But just about everyone has some family - is a child or parents, a sibling, has nieces or nephews, had friends, or is connected to others in some way.

Some people are better at loving humanity than individuals.
Some find working and raising a family so exhausting they have nothing left to give when it comes to volunteer work, civic duties, or any form of protest.

I myself am NMNK and do not regret it.  I have never been involved in any violent protests.  I actually think protests may be ineffective, especially because there are so many ways to use the e-media to get your opinions out there and voice heard.

If you are truly independent, not able to count on anyone but yourself for financial support, you're going to think about becoming unemployable.

These talk show hosts are simply out of touch with reality.

They're especially out of touch with women who have put their careers first as if you look into it you're going to see that for the first generations of feminists many did not have children because career building took all they had and they knew it.

Never have a child to prove to anyone that you are "normal."

I CAN BET NMNKs CAN DEAL WITH THE CORONAVIRUS-19 PANDEMIC BETTER THAN MOST PEOPLE

Dear Readers,

If you've just come to this BlogSpot for the first time or after a long while, I encourage you to read posts from the very beginning.  You'll find my personal experiences and opinions of course, but also links of interest.  This blog is a labor of love - and empathy - for others who have chosen the Never Married No Kids lifestyle.  Though it's more common than ever, I feel NMNK need support. It's here.

I'm betting that those NMNKs who are self quarantined or forced to stay at home are doing better than those who don't live alone or who are in relationships that require maintenance.  That's because I think people who are childless and never married - or perhaps alone because the house has cleared out of children and are widowed or divorced - can deal with all that aloneness much better.

Consider my friend who I called recently who started out by telling me she has not had a television in years, has a pile of books to read, meditates, and otherwise has a lot of small projects to complete.  Recently retired, this woman has not been married for many years, plans not to remarry again, never had children, and has only one relative alive to check in on her.  But she feels no concern because her chances of catching Corona-19 are slim, especially because she doesn't feel the need to go out, and she loves the time alone.

I recently heard a broadcast on the radio - I think it was a PBS station and if not a Public Radio or College station - that was of interest.  One person in Los Angeles out of five has no one to look in on them.  Some people were startled to hear that.  

The virus has forced the issue of Who To Call if it's an emergency.  Though some NMNK still have family or friends to look after them, there are those who have no plan of action, no one to call.  For some this is scary, for others who have had the money to pre-plan, not so much.  For those with no money and no plan, well - you are not alone. You might even be thinking that you don't want a funeral, you don't want fuss, you don't even want an obituary in the paper.  You love your privacy and wouldn't want an expensive funeral anyway.

I personally am not worried.  Concerned yes.  Concerned for humanity.

Am I fighting depression?  A little.  It's because I was concerned for humanity before the virus forced us to conduct ourselves in a way that is not natural or human and because in my brief time out of the house, when I accompany a senior friend of mine on outings, we have encountered domestic violence occurring in the vehicle ahead of us.  I've also heard a Hispanic man call a man who was driving without a mask a "Nigger."  The Hispanic man was not wearing a mask.  He was walking with earphones on. I really do not want the tension people feel to result in domestic violence or racial violence.

That I have a dog and walk daily makes a difference.  

I too have long lists of things I want to do with my time and have been doing with my time - especially trying new recipes challenged by the ingredients I already have in the house since I didn't want to be part of the hoarding and saw so many people not compliant with wearing masks around.  So I find new recipes on the Internet or YouTube and try them - some are delicious and worth keeping.

I'm sewing.  

I'm listening to audio books.  

I'm reading the news - maybe too much - but OK. 

I wrote a long letter to a public personality that I've been meaning to write for over a year and mailed it.

And so on.

How are you doing?

Sister

WOMEN WHO DON'T WANT TO BE MOTHERS - DOCUMENTARY

THE VIDEO HAS BEEN REMOVED on YouTube
**********************************
From DW DOCUMENTARY 

EXCERPT: Women and mother - the two words are often used interchangeably.  Amid a widespread belief that women who aren't mothers are missing something, there's a stigma attached to being childless.  This documentary lets women in Germany, France, and Spain sound off about why they rejected motherhood and questions the existence of the widely accepted "Maternal instinct."

I believe the stats are that one woman in five is childless these days.

And if you raise your children right, to leave home and have their own lives, you will be "childless" most of your life.  (I understand that a family may have to get back together to help each other in times of distress.  Sadly, too many parents, and I think especially single mothers, do not raise their children to leave them.)

WHY DO MORE MEN SUICIDE THAN WOMEN?

PSMAGAZINE : SOCIAL JUSTICE : WHY MEN KILL THEMSELVES

SOCIAL PERFECTIONISM is the reason why.

Check out this article from 2015.

Men, at least take charge of your reproductivity.  Be a CO-NONPARENT!

PAUL DOLAN's BOOK HAPPY EVERY AFTER SAYS WOMEN ARE HAPPIER NOT MARRIED

VOX : MARRIED WOMEN MISERABLE? DON'T BELIEVE IT

EXCERPT:  Women should be wary of marriage - because while married women say they're happy, they're lying.  According to behavioral scientist Paul Dolan promoting his recently released book HAPPY EVER AFTER, they'll; be much happier if they steer clear of marriage and children entirely.

"Married people are happier than other population subgroups,but only when their spouse is in the room when they're asked how happy they are.  When the spouse is not present" f***ing miserable." Dolan said, citing the AMERICAN TIME USE SURVEY, a national survey available from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and used for academic research on how Americans live their lives.