10/8/10
10/5/10
SISTER SPEAKS : DEATH OF A (LONG AGO LOST) FRIEND REMINDS ME OF WHY MARRIAGE CAN BE A BAD IDEA
The other day I thought of a woman who I had been friends with for over a decade. I had some time to spend so I decided to look her up on the Internet. To my surprise I learned she had died an early death a year ago, leaving behind a teenage daughter, a husband (still), and a skeleton crew of relatives and friends. I found a picture of her, a testimonial that she had survived a new innovative treatment, and reason to believe that at least some of the things she wanted out of life had been achieved.
BUT HER ROTTEN MARRIAGE was one of those marriages that reinforced my feeling that marriage was not a lifestyle I was very interested in.
If you think she married for all the wrong reasons, she didn't. At least at the time she told me she liked, loved, and was in love with her husband to be. And my friend was an only child, not spoiled, but used to having her way. She married another only child who was spoiled, and used to having his way. It became a battle of wills, and because she was "not a feminist," slowly but surely this bright, talented woman, who held an executive position (the irony!) was doing everything his way, including not having sex most of the time because he didn't want it.
I could go on and on, but the point is, when I found out she had died, I found myself swearing at her husband. What kind of life did she have, living around you and your wants and needs (and not needs)... My friend should have known better but she even forked over her executive paycheck and let him invest it and most of the time had no idea where their money was.
I found her daughter's MY SPACE, and there was a sad, "I just lost my mother" look in her eyes. My friend had wanted children, but he wouldn't let her until she had put 20 years in at her company and had the big retirement.
It's really easy for women - wives - like these to not face the reality that their relationship is UNDESIREABLE - and that the Never Married No Kids life is not all bad and in fact can be very good.
Most of us do not say that to the parties involved. We'll say to ourselves "It's their relationship, so stay out of it." But when we go home from the party alone, sometimes as we shut out the light to go to sleep we say to ourselves "I am just lucky I'm not in a marriage like that!"
Sister
C Sister/Never Married No Kids 2010 All Rights including International and Internet Rights Reserved
BUT HER ROTTEN MARRIAGE was one of those marriages that reinforced my feeling that marriage was not a lifestyle I was very interested in.
If you think she married for all the wrong reasons, she didn't. At least at the time she told me she liked, loved, and was in love with her husband to be. And my friend was an only child, not spoiled, but used to having her way. She married another only child who was spoiled, and used to having his way. It became a battle of wills, and because she was "not a feminist," slowly but surely this bright, talented woman, who held an executive position (the irony!) was doing everything his way, including not having sex most of the time because he didn't want it.
I could go on and on, but the point is, when I found out she had died, I found myself swearing at her husband. What kind of life did she have, living around you and your wants and needs (and not needs)... My friend should have known better but she even forked over her executive paycheck and let him invest it and most of the time had no idea where their money was.
I found her daughter's MY SPACE, and there was a sad, "I just lost my mother" look in her eyes. My friend had wanted children, but he wouldn't let her until she had put 20 years in at her company and had the big retirement.
It's really easy for women - wives - like these to not face the reality that their relationship is UNDESIREABLE - and that the Never Married No Kids life is not all bad and in fact can be very good.
Most of us do not say that to the parties involved. We'll say to ourselves "It's their relationship, so stay out of it." But when we go home from the party alone, sometimes as we shut out the light to go to sleep we say to ourselves "I am just lucky I'm not in a marriage like that!"
Sister
C Sister/Never Married No Kids 2010 All Rights including International and Internet Rights Reserved
10/2/10
AFRICAN AMERICAN NMNK MONTH
This month I'm going to try and explore African American NMNK. Recent reports are that African American women have very little chance of ever marrying. And though these statistics represent many who would like to be married there are those who are OK with life as is. It seems to me that African-American woman have a special challenge, and it's not about skin color as much as it is about culture, for African-American women are very matriarchal!
WHY IS EVERY STATISTIC ABOUT NEVER MARRIED WOMAN LACED WITH IMPLIED FRUSTRATION?
WHY IS EVERY STATISTIC ABOUT NEVER MARRIED WOMAN LACED WITH IMPLIED FRUSTRATION?
9/28/10
YERUSHA.COM ANNA OLSWANGER supports CHILDLESS JEWISH PEOPLE
A BRAND NEW WEBSITE FOR SUPPORT OF THE CHILDLESS!
According to the September 10-16th JEWISH JOURNAL, Anna Olswanger, 56 and childless, married only recently, has started Yersha.com to give SUPPORT to JEWS who DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN.
"Yerusha means legacy, and part of Olswanger's mission is to help childless Jews leave a legacy without having children. A PAGE OF NOTEABLE PEOPLE WITHOUT CHILDREN is there for the reading. She's addressing the PAIN AND SHAME MANY FEEL FOR NOT HAVING CHILDREN...?
Maybe Jewish people have more problems with these issues than people from other faiths?
HERE IS THE MESSAGE I LEFT FOR ANNA and HER FRIENDS!
I have a blog NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS on Google. I am a NMNK myself. I wish to give support to the childless life, without apology for choosing not to have children (though the pressure to have children when you can't or won't sometimes makes some of us defensive.) Since I'm not Jewish nor especially religious, but was raised with the option of the nunnery or other religious holy order as another dignified way to live, perhaps it is easier for me. PEOPLE WHO ARE WITHOUT CHILDREN HAVE SO MUCH MORE TIME TO BE BUSY IN THE WORLD as activists, and are able to take risks (such as having your own business) that those with children do not. I think many NMNKs leave the legacy of being excellent examples as human beings for a life that is worthy.
Sister
ANNA THANK YOU and WE LINK TO YOU WITH PRIDE!
According to the September 10-16th JEWISH JOURNAL, Anna Olswanger, 56 and childless, married only recently, has started Yersha.com to give SUPPORT to JEWS who DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN.
"Yerusha means legacy, and part of Olswanger's mission is to help childless Jews leave a legacy without having children. A PAGE OF NOTEABLE PEOPLE WITHOUT CHILDREN is there for the reading. She's addressing the PAIN AND SHAME MANY FEEL FOR NOT HAVING CHILDREN...?
Maybe Jewish people have more problems with these issues than people from other faiths?
HERE IS THE MESSAGE I LEFT FOR ANNA and HER FRIENDS!
I have a blog NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS on Google. I am a NMNK myself. I wish to give support to the childless life, without apology for choosing not to have children (though the pressure to have children when you can't or won't sometimes makes some of us defensive.) Since I'm not Jewish nor especially religious, but was raised with the option of the nunnery or other religious holy order as another dignified way to live, perhaps it is easier for me. PEOPLE WHO ARE WITHOUT CHILDREN HAVE SO MUCH MORE TIME TO BE BUSY IN THE WORLD as activists, and are able to take risks (such as having your own business) that those with children do not. I think many NMNKs leave the legacy of being excellent examples as human beings for a life that is worthy.
Sister
ANNA THANK YOU and WE LINK TO YOU WITH PRIDE!
9/1/10
SPINSTER MONTH
THAT'S WHAT I AM!
SISTER HERE! SPINSTERS started out as women who spun yarn ; It must have been one of the first ways a woman could make some money to support herself, or at least earn money she didn't have to ask a father, brother, or husband for though very likely she was not supposed to actually live alone. Maybe these women just LIKED their relative independence. Maybe they made enough money to be free of marriage, childbearing, and all that.
TODAY SPINSTERS ARE HAVING A MUCH BETTER TIME OF IT! Visit again because we are going to have a lot of fun with spinsterhood!
SISTER HERE! SPINSTERS started out as women who spun yarn ; It must have been one of the first ways a woman could make some money to support herself, or at least earn money she didn't have to ask a father, brother, or husband for though very likely she was not supposed to actually live alone. Maybe these women just LIKED their relative independence. Maybe they made enough money to be free of marriage, childbearing, and all that.
TODAY SPINSTERS ARE HAVING A MUCH BETTER TIME OF IT! Visit again because we are going to have a lot of fun with spinsterhood!
8/15/10
MOTHER JONES MAGAZINE and WHY IS POPULATION CONTROL A RADIOACTIVE TOPIC
Paul R. Ehrlich wrote the controversial 1968 book The Population Bomb and co-founded the group Zero Population Growth: "Overpopulation, combined with overconsumption, is the elephant in the room. We don't talk about overpopulation because of real fears from the past—of racism, eugenics, colonialism, forced sterilization, forced family planning, plus the fears from some of contraception, abortion, and sex. We don't really talk about overconsumption because of ignorance about the economics of overpopulation and the true ecological limits of Earth."
LINK HERE TO A MAGAZINE ARTICLE WITH LOTS OF EXPERT OPINIONS...
LINK HERE TO A MAGAZINE ARTICLE WITH LOTS OF EXPERT OPINIONS...
8/10/10
POPULATION CONTROL - A SENSITIVE SUBJECT
POPULATION CONTROL is a SENSITIVE SUBJECT. When you start talking about nations controlling population you enter into discussions that can seem to be about RACIAL, ETHNIC, and RELIGIOUS identity and the people who we think there are too many of. The truth is that China has achieved population stabilization through forced contraception and abortion, something I don't think most Western women want to have to deal with. In India and China using medical tests to determine which fetus are female and sex selecting for abortion is troubling for us feminists.
FOR US in the West, SELF CONTROL IS THE KEY. But when we SELF CONTROL and do not bring any children into the world, or just a few, because that is what we can afford, we may become resentful of paying for other people who have many more children than they can afford to receive government benefits! Let's face it: It is TRUE! It may not be politically correct to pick on one ethnic group or religion or another, but you hear it all the time, when you are NOT a member of that other ethnic or religious group.
Those of us who are NMNK are often thought of as the odd because we do not create new families of blood-line relatives. (Of course most of us are attached to our family of origin somehow.) Are we odd if we are self responsible, and if the effect of our self responsibility is to influence the worlds resources favorably? SISTER
C by Sister/ Never Married No Kids Blogspot. All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights
FOR US in the West, SELF CONTROL IS THE KEY. But when we SELF CONTROL and do not bring any children into the world, or just a few, because that is what we can afford, we may become resentful of paying for other people who have many more children than they can afford to receive government benefits! Let's face it: It is TRUE! It may not be politically correct to pick on one ethnic group or religion or another, but you hear it all the time, when you are NOT a member of that other ethnic or religious group.
Those of us who are NMNK are often thought of as the odd because we do not create new families of blood-line relatives. (Of course most of us are attached to our family of origin somehow.) Are we odd if we are self responsible, and if the effect of our self responsibility is to influence the worlds resources favorably? SISTER
C by Sister/ Never Married No Kids Blogspot. All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights
8/2/10
IS POPULATION GROWTH MONTH - POPULATION INSTITUTE LINK
POPULATION INSTITUTE link here! This has a lot of good information and it's scary but up on the right hand top of their page you can see the population of the world increasing, a woman giving birth every... well it appears to be every second...
Welcome to the Population Institute
The Population Institute is an international non-profit that educates policymakers and the public about population, and seeks to promote universal access to family planning information, education, and services. Through voluntary family planning, we strive to achieve a world population in balance with a healthy global environment and resource base.
Welcome to the Population Institute
The Population Institute is an international non-profit that educates policymakers and the public about population, and seeks to promote universal access to family planning information, education, and services. Through voluntary family planning, we strive to achieve a world population in balance with a healthy global environment and resource base.
7/25/10
ALL ABOUT ABORTION - THIS SITE DOES NOT MAKE YOU GUILT TRIP
Here's a link to a site that is clearly pro-abortion with lots of links that include testimonials. Growing up in a time when most parents did not discuss contraception with their children I witnessed many of my classmates have babies and mostly give them up because they had no easy contraception options. Then in my twenties I began to meet women who had abortions and I'll be honest, most of them WERE EMOTIONALLY UPSET about it at some point. Still, unless you are really willing to go through a pregnancy and give the baby up for adoption, you must ask yourself if you are in a place in life where you can raise a child; do you have the wealth and the health?
AND NO, LEAVING THE CHILD TO BE RAISED BY GRANDPARENTS ... THAT IS NOT FAIR TO THEM!
Sister
AND NO, LEAVING THE CHILD TO BE RAISED BY GRANDPARENTS ... THAT IS NOT FAIR TO THEM!
Sister
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)