SINGLE BY FATE? GOD'S PLAN FOR YOU TO BE ALONE AND LONELY?

Have you ever met someone who was convinced that GOD has a PLAN for their life and interprets every bad thing as some part of a grand plan that will end OK for them?  Have you ever met someone who talks this belief aloud and interprets everything that has happened and is happening for you the same way?

Recently I met such a person, a woman, while waiting for a bus with her after just missing one.  It was a too hot day, I was tired, and worried that my dog had been home alone too long. 

At first I appreciated the empathy but as she began to throw on the GOD'S PLAN interpretation of being stranded for a half hour and then my life, I felt sorry that I had been so frustrated that I'd spewed information aloud.

I felt uncomfortable and was unable to be honest and tell her that I personally DO NOT BELIEVE THAT GOD HAS PLANNED THE MICRODETAILS OF MY LIFE, and certainly not a GRANDE SCHEME.  I think it is a very passive interpretation of life, and I think we should be striving towards goals, even if we are not so successful.

When I got home I began to think about how many people think that if they marry or not it's up to GOD.  So many of these people are also so fatalistic that they actually think Mr. or Mrs. Right is going to knock on their door, introduce themselves, and proceed towards marriage.  These people are maybe shy, or afraid to take risks, or took risks and lost.  This is why it is best to STRIVE!

C 2021

Sister

YOU OVER POPULATE MY HEART

THOMAS ROBERT MATHUS is the man in the picture. He was an economist.

NOT BEING A MOTHER (OR PARENT) - IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU DON'T NURTURE OR CARE GIVE

Alas, today is MOTHER's DAY, and along with FATHER'S DAY coming up next month, it is a day to celebrate those who PARENT.

Well, if you are here on this earth you probably had a MOTHER and if she was a good mother then sure, you should acknowledge her today - as well as her birthday.

But for NMNK's under pressure to procreate by their own mothers, fathers, families, because these people are traditional, conservative, religious, or simply think that's how life is done, today is just one more day in which a person can be put down for being unconventional, not ready, aging out, or simply not being "lucky" which means fertile.

For those who are faulted for not bearing a child or bringing another soul into this very overpopulated, often starving, world, let me remind you to remind THEM that this does not mean you are not a nurturing person, and that in fact you may be or will be caregiving, in particular caregiving your own parents.

I want to point this out because those hostile to a NMNK lifestyle often find fault with our character, personality, values, more so than our possibly uncooperative bodies.

When I hear about a parent who thinks their children owe them grandchildren it makes me crazy.  Some of these grand parents need to figure out something else worthwhile to do with their own retirements. 

2011 INTERNATIONAL FAMILY PLANNING CONFERENCE in DAKAR SENEGAL

Dakar Senegal is the location of this conference which is entitled FAMILY PLANNING.

I'm not comfortable with that term because it is QUAINT. Family Planning assumes first of all that you are a person who is going to have a family. Family Planning assumes that you are thus a person who does not have sex unless contraception is a family planning issue (that you are married or going to wait until married), rather than an issue of having sex without bringing children into the world.
I think they are trying to be non controversial using this quaint FAMILY PLANNING term when this is a very controversial subject!

In many parts of the world - and still here in the United States in most families - those who do not want any children and do something about it - especially if you have yourself sterilized when you are young - are considered to be abnormal human beings. Even abortion here is understood as "not the right time" to have a child rather than "Never Wanted A Child In The First Place, and Probably Never Will."

NEVER MARRIED CHILDLESS WOMEN IN AUSTRALIA

The data is from about 2006:

"A growing proportion of women reach older age without having married or having children. Assumptions that these older women are lonely, impoverished, and high users of social and health services are based on little evidence. This paper uses data from the Older cohort of the Australian Longitudinal Study on Women's Health to describe self-reported demographics, physical and emotional health, and use of services among 10,108 women aged 73-78, of whom 2.7% are never-married and childless. The most striking characteristic of this group is their high levels of education, which are associated with fewer reported financial difficulties and higher rates of private health insurance. There are few differences in self-reported physical or emotional health or use of health services between these and other groups of older women. Compared with older married women with children, they make higher use of formal services such as home maintenance and meal services, and are also more likely to provide volunteer services and belong to social groups. Overall, there is no evidence to suggest that these women are a "problem" group. Rather, it seems that their life experiences and opportunities prepare them for a successful and productive older age. "

BITCH MAGAZINE BECAUSE YOU USE YOUR BRAINS OPINION ON WHERE ARE THE CHILDFREE ROLE MODELS

Brittany writes about a recent movie's portrayal of the choice to be childfree...  Bitch Magazine... ?  Go ahead and link to her opinion piece (with video) and a stream of comments...

OK I never did like it when a woman called herself a "chick" or a "bitch."  No more than I like it when I hear black people calling each other "nigger."  Sister

MAY IS HAPPY TO BE INFERTILE MONTH

Are you HAPPY that you are infertile? 

Is this your natural state or did you do it on purpose? 

Happily Infertile defies all the emphasis on Motherhood at (almost) any cost.  These days there is so much focus on celebrities and their adoptions and baby bumps.  There are endless sites on the web determined to ease your pain of being infertile ("Can your marriage survive infertility."  "Is this God's will? - a Cross to Bear?")

THIS IS TO LET THOSE OF YOU DESPERATE TO HAVE A BABY that there are people on this planet who are INFERTILE and HAPPY ABOUT IT.  (Some of them think this is God's will too!)

Are you happy and you know it, never mind?

CONNECTING TO AWAKENING FROM THE DREAM BLOG on CELIBACY LIFESTYLE

"As I recently wrote about on the Spiritual Seduction website, at the end of the day, sex just SEX feels like a big nothing to me.

I actually remember thinking that the very first time I had sex. "Really?" I said to myself. "All this hoopla, this huge big deal and all these taboos, and ... that's it? THAT is what the big deal was all about??"

In a way, this is very liberating. So much ridiculousness can be dispensed with when sex is no longer a priority."  Erica
 
FOLLOW ERICA'S BLOG!

YERUSHA.COM ANNA OLSWANGER supports CHILDLESS JEWISH PEOPLE

A BRAND NEW WEBSITE FOR SUPPORT OF THE CHILDLESS!


According to the September 10-16th JEWISH JOURNAL, Anna Olswanger, 56 and childless, married only recently, has started Yersha.com to give SUPPORT to JEWS who DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN.

"Yerusha means legacy, and part of Olswanger's mission is to help childless Jews leave a legacy without having children. A PAGE OF NOTEABLE PEOPLE WITHOUT CHILDREN is there for the reading.  She's addressing the PAIN AND SHAME MANY FEEL FOR NOT HAVING CHILDREN...?

Maybe Jewish people have more problems with these issues than people from other faiths?

HERE IS THE MESSAGE I LEFT FOR ANNA and HER FRIENDS!

I have a blog NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS on Google. I am a NMNK myself. I wish to give support to the childless life, without apology for choosing not to have children (though the pressure to have children when you can't or won't sometimes makes some of us defensive.) Since I'm not Jewish nor especially religious, but was raised with the option of the nunnery or other religious holy order as another dignified way to live, perhaps it is easier for me. PEOPLE WHO ARE WITHOUT CHILDREN HAVE SO MUCH MORE TIME TO BE BUSY IN THE WORLD as activists, and are able to take risks (such as having your own business) that those with children do not. I think many NMNKs leave the legacy of being excellent examples as human beings for a life that is worthy.

Sister




ANNA THANK YOU and WE LINK TO YOU WITH PRIDE!

WHAT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE THE BABYSITTER FOR YOUR NEICE OR NEPHEW ?

How about you? Have you begun to think that your brother or sister, or brother-in-law or sister-in-law is using you as an unpaid babysitter, using a guilt trip on you, expecting YOU MS. or MR. UNMARRIED AND CHILDLESS, because they think you OUGHT TO WANT TO BE A GREAT AUNTIE OR UNCLE since they do not approve of your child-free lifestyle?

HAVE THEY TOLD YOU THAT IF ONLY YOU SPENT MORE TIME WITH CHILDREN YOU WOULD CHANGE YOUR MIND AND WANT SOME OF YOUR OWN?

WHY IS IT ASSUMED THAT YOU WANT TO HAVE A "RELATIONSHIP" WITH THEIR CHILDREN?

WHAT IF YOU DON'T PARTICULARLY LIKE CHILDREN, and ESPECIALLY NOT YOUR NIECE AND NEPHEW who (if truth be known) you would not raise the way they're being raised if you did?!

DO YOU REALLY WANT SOMEONE ELSE'S KIDS TO BE YOUR RESPONSIBILITY?

DO THEY EXPECT YOU TO SPEND YOUR OWN MONEY, CANCEL YOUR OWN PLANS, OR IN ANY WAY BE A CO-PARENT?

Hey, has some relative of yours gone ahead and HAD A CHILD THEY CANNOT AFFORD maybe WITHOUT THE FATHER'S INVOLVEMENT in the kids life, and NOW YOU HAVE TO COMPENSATE ?

WHAT PRESSURE DO YOU FEEL FROM YOUR FAMILY TO BE THE "BABYSITTING SPINSTER SISTER or BROTHER?"

NANNY AD TELLS THE TRUTH - KIDS ARE A PAIN IN THE YOU KNOW WHAT!

Happened upon this article on the Yahoo news today... click on the title above...
Isn't it great to not have children and not have to hire anyone to take over your own responsibility to raise them?! Nanny Diaries indeed!

IS YOUR FRIEND'S CHILD HER EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE or A NO SHOW?

My Yoga Teacher did it AGAIN this morning. I got up with the alarm (instead of sleeping in), and I spent the gas money and drove 20 minutes to be on time for class. Then we were left waiting for 15 minutes (not the first time) and then another teacher came in to tell us that ours had an "emergency" with her three year old and would not be able to make it. Some sub came in and did a class he made up as he went along - stretch exercises focused on ab development - like who gives a crap? I was laying there on the mat furious.

DO YOU HAVE A FRIEND or COWORKER or BOSS WHO USES HER CHILD AS AN EXCUSE for why SHE IS UNPROFESSIONAL? Are you always being asked to UNDERSTAND and FORGIVE because (Damn it!) her kid is just sooooooo cute ? Are you supposed to assume that her parenting responsibilities should be her priority over professional commitments? Are you asked to baby sit at no charge because you got elected to be "AN AUNT?" (Or is this now part of your ever expanding job description for which you will not be paid more because child care - when you like a kid - really ISN'T WORK? Is the kid always especially rude and obnoxious when she has company - you - which is distracting? (In other words she (and her partner) ARE NOT GOOD PARENTS BECAUSE THEY ARE RAISING DEMANDING BRATS!?) ADMIT IT! The kids are the biggest excuse ever!

"PEOPLE WHO HAVE CHILDREN STAY YOUNG...

...And all my friends who never had children are looking much older," a middle aged woman said to me last night. She was encouraging me to take on the mentorship and motherly discipline of two wayward teenage girls who are in my apartment building and who I have been concerned about. I didn't say it, because she is a mother, but IT'S JUST THE OPPOSITE IN MY EXPERIENCE. The ones with the children, especially the single mothers, look ten years older than the ones who are deliberately happily childless, like me. I'm frequently guessed to be five to ten years younger than I am, and that's without makeup, fashion, or hairstyles to help the cause...

MARRIED WITH CHILDREN EMPOYEES TAKE ADVANTAGE OF CHILDLESS COWORKERS

This issue was really burning me up this morning.

You're the one who has not had children. Maybe you can't afford it. Maybe you're infertile. Maybe you just never wanted children.

HERE COMES YOUR SOCCER MOM BOSS expecting you to cover for her, make up work for her, stay late for her, so she can go see her son or daughter play. Did you know your job description includes making up lies to her boss about where she is when she's taking an afternoon off to shop at the mall, get her nails done for a party, or running her children to the dentist? Or maybe she has you doing a little extra work running errands that are home and children related for her?

This woman is a business woman. A career woman. Educated. But now that she has children she expects you to UNDERSTAND that her children should come first - well, maybe not first, but a close second. And if you don't want to? If you refuse? Why that would make you downright anti-children, right? Anti-children, UnAmerican, Unnatural.

Think about it.

Have you actually gone to the home of your boss to provide free or low cost CHILD CARE for her?