NEVER MARRIED WOMEN FACE SOCIAL STIGMA STILL

  NEVER MARRIED WOMEN FACE SOCIAL STIGMA STILL

"In 2009, approximately 40 percent of adults were single, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. In a new study, "I'm a Loser, I'm Not Married, Let's Just All Look at Me," a University of Missouri researcher examined the familial and societal messages given to women who are not married by their mid-30's. Although the number of single women has increased, the stigma associated with being single at that age has not diminished, according to the women in this study. "We found that never-married women's social environments are characterized by pressure to conform to the conventional life pathway," said Larry Ganong, co-chair of Human Development and Family Studies in the College of Human Environmental Sciences." LINK to the article by clicking on the title of this post!

(First published August 11, 2011) 

Note that if you put I'm a Loser, I'm Not Married, Let's Just All Look at Me into a search engines, a number of academic/research abstracts re this article will come up.)

ELLEN PECK'S BABY TRAP HELPED ME DECIDE

ELLEN PECK'S BABY TRAP HELPED ME DECIDE

MINNESOTA PUBLIC RADIO - ABOUT ELLEN PECK AND THE BABY TRAP link

 She used the term "non-parent."

I once had a brochure by the group Ellen founded, the non-parents, that was full of questions a  person should ask themselves to help themselves decide if they wanted a baby now or at all.  I can't recall how I came to possess it.  One of the questions was "Do I want a child only if it is a girl or only if it is a boy child?" 

I realized early that I was not ready to parent.  Realizing the responsibility - especially financial - that I was not up to, I decided to either use contraception or avoid sex because abortion was not an option.  (Today I am pro-Choice.  I know contraception is not perfect.  I've met people who got pregnant anyway, despite using the Pill, the Diaphram, the IUD, even someone who got pregnant after a Tubal!) 

I left the option open that maybe if I married, and had a good marriage, after some time I might change my mind, but I always told men I was dating that I didn't think I wanted any children.  That may have hurt my prospects, but so be it. 

As the years went by, I realized that I did not want to be a mother, even if I married someone who could afford a nanny. 

KYLIE MINOGUE : FINER FEELINGS

KYLIE MINOGUE : FINER FEELINGS

LET THE LADIES AGAINST WOMEN REMIND YOU...

A YouTube presentation, film by Tim Wessel.

Let the Ladies Against Women REMIND YOU of some of the reasons MARRIAGE has been a raw deal for women, and what feminism is about. This is a 2003 performance of the Ladies Against Women, who also perform in parades such as the Do Da Parade that is held in Pasadena, California - a remedy for the Rose Bowl.

Seriously though, did you form a bad opinion about marriage due to feminist enlightenment?

(First posted on Feb 2, 2008)

STRANGE BUT TRUE : MOST OF MY FRIENDS ARE FIRST OR ONLY CHILDREN! DOES BIRTH ORDER HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH BEING AN NMNK?

STRANGE BUT TRUE : MOST OF MY FRIENDS ARE FIRST OR ONLY CHILDREN!  DOES BIRTH ORDER HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH BEING AN NMNK?

Sister here : Recently I realized that most of my friends are first or only children - and they were born mostly before have 2.5 children was the norm! (I wonder what the psychologists who believe in birth order are going to do about that "middle child" in their analysis?)

As a child- those first five years that they say are so vital - I had lots of neighbor children and cousins to play with. But as much as I liked playing with other children I also started honing quiet time for myself because I took to reading early and also loved making art projects.

I WONDER IF THERE ARE ANY STATS ON BIRTH ORDER AND NMNK?!

(First published July 25, 2011)

 

ASEXUALITY : A HOT TOPIC : HOW IT'S DIFFERENT FROM CELIBACY ?

 ASEXUALITY : A HOT TOPIC : HOW IT'S DIFFERENT FROM CELIBACY ?

I get a whole lot of hits on my post about ASEXUAL CELEBRITIES. A person who is asexual feels as though they are devoid of sexual motivation or sexual nature. They may be a very loving person, a sensual person, but they just don't get into sex. They can love deeply but see no need or have little to no interest in taking that love into the physical. This is the perfect way to be if you're a person who is spiritually based and participating in religious life that requires celibacy. A person may be asexual for a while or for life. They may be married and have children but no longer be interested. CELIBACY is not participating in sexual contact with other people as a chosen lifestyle, at least temporarily (the sexual fast after a break up and before another involvement for instance.) The person might like sex, even love sex, but feel that for now it's time out. While many asexuals are celibate, many celibates struggle with attractions, despite their decisions. I think the difference is motivation or attitudes. NMNK is a blog for everyone who is NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS, and being asexual or celibate are two possible ways to be NMNK.

(First published June 12, 2012)

JULIAN LENNON : NMNK : OUTLIVING THE LEGACY OF A DIFFICULT CHILDHOOD

JULIAN LENNON : NMNK : OUTLIVING THE LEGACY OF A DIFFICULT CHILDHOOD

The son of once-upon-a-time Beatle, John Lennon and his first wife, Cynthia, Julian Lennon has said publicly that he thinks he hasn't married or had children because of what he went through as the child.   linking here to an article from The Telegraph, an English newspaper online : JULIAN LENNON BLAMES FATHER JOHN LENNON : NO CHILDREN : NO MARRIAGE

An excerpt
"Julian has, however, also shown understanding of his father’s situation – in particular the fact that he was a young parent who had himself endured a difficult childhood. John Lennon went 20 years without seeing his father Alfred and grew up living with his aunt Mimi, not his mother Julia.

Julian Lennon has also had difficult relationships with Yoko Ono and Sean Lennon, Yoko and John’s son.... "

(First published April 26, 2012)

I GOT CALLED A SPINSTER TODAY and... LOOSER TRAUMA

 I GOT CALLED A SPINSTER TODAY and...

the guy who called me that (because I am never married, no children) informed me that it used to be if you were not married by 25 this was the appropriate word. Well, I know that some women are IN YOUR FACE calling THEMSELVES SPINSTERS... but I have to admit I was feeling offended by this guy. He has five children. Three in marriage, two not. And he has nothing to do with any of them at this point. He says that is their choice. Their mothers are with other men, other fathers. Now I don't know enough to judge him or I don't want to judge him badly about this. But he seemed to think I was terribly old fashioned. He told me that in marriage you have about 10 minutes a day with your partner and he called that BED TIME! Is there something wrong with wanting a lot more than 10 minutes a day and a life revolving around duty towards children?  

(First published February 4, 2008)

LOOSER TRAUMA

The other morning a man who has five children, three in marriage, and says he may have more he doesn't know, about called me a looser for having never married. Well, I haven't brought ANY CHILDREN into this world, and I think, considering that he has no contact with ANY of HIS children, that I am the one who has behaved responsibly. He said I was "afraid of life." He said celibates were not normal. (My argument that there is a full range of sexual expression, including celibacy was something he was not going to hear. He admitted that he has a big porn collection.) WHAT LINGO or LABEL is BEST for those of us who have never had a child? HOW ABOUT NON-PARENT?

(First published February 13, 2008)

 

DR EMILIA SAM'S GROWN WOMAN's OATH

DR EMILIA SAM'S GROWN WOMAN's OATH

EMELIA SAM - THE GROWN WOMAN'S OATH


I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT EMILIA - IS SHE NMNK?

 

(First Published  April 14, 2014)