I GOT CALLED A SPINSTER TODAY and... LOOSER TRAUMA

 I GOT CALLED A SPINSTER TODAY and...

the guy who called me that (because I am never married, no children) informed me that it used to be if you were not married by 25 this was the appropriate word. Well, I know that some women are IN YOUR FACE calling THEMSELVES SPINSTERS... but I have to admit I was feeling offended by this guy. He has five children. Three in marriage, two not. And he has nothing to do with any of them at this point. He says that is their choice. Their mothers are with other men, other fathers. Now I don't know enough to judge him or I don't want to judge him badly about this. But he seemed to think I was terribly old fashioned. He told me that in marriage you have about 10 minutes a day with your partner and he called that BED TIME! Is there something wrong with wanting a lot more than 10 minutes a day and a life revolving around duty towards children?  

(First published February 4, 2008)

LOOSER TRAUMA

The other morning a man who has five children, three in marriage, and says he may have more he doesn't know, about called me a looser for having never married. Well, I haven't brought ANY CHILDREN into this world, and I think, considering that he has no contact with ANY of HIS children, that I am the one who has behaved responsibly. He said I was "afraid of life." He said celibates were not normal. (My argument that there is a full range of sexual expression, including celibacy was something he was not going to hear. He admitted that he has a big porn collection.) WHAT LINGO or LABEL is BEST for those of us who have never had a child? HOW ABOUT NON-PARENT?

(First published February 13, 2008)