DO YOU HATE DATING? YOU CAN'T BE MATCH MADE

Is this you?

You can't be match made.  

When someone tries to match you, you feel uneasy, even angry.

You don't want to go out to clubs, unless you just want to dance or listen to the music, but you would happily hang at a table and talk, or dance and say "Thanks! but no Thanks" because you do not want to give out your phone number or ask for anyone else's number.  You do not want to pretend that you will call someone to see them again, unless maybe just as friends.

But you've noticed that when you say "I'm just looking for friends" most of the time you are not believed.  If someone is interested in you more than you are interested in them, saying that you're just interested in meeting people for friendship usually results in them trying to change your mind - now you're a challenge! 

So if you're simply nice, because you aren't trying to be mean, just honest, the whole club scene just results in follow up and follow through you aren't really interested in.

You're not anti-social.  You just don't want to date.  Not now.  Maybe not ever.  You need to get over you past experiences  or you need a break.  Maybe the problem is sex.   You don't like it or you want to wait until marriage or you think it's over emphasized.

Maybe you want to try going a year  or longerwithout having sex at all, because you find that sex seems to complicate things. 

You are not interested in meeting on the Internet either.  The whole experience leaves you feeling like you're in a beauty competition and marketing a product when you're a person.  It feels unnatural to you - and a time waster. 

Or you've tried it and it didn't work for you.  You spent your time meeting people who just wanted to e-mail, or who you met in person and didn't want to actually date you after all that.

IS THIS YOU?

Sister

(All original writing on this blog is C Sister/ Never Married No Kids Blogspot)

L'WREN SCOTT SUICIDE and FUNERAL : I'M ADDICTED TO THE NEWS COVERAGE! WHY?

I have a really lousy cell phone that won't download any apps, but it does have a news feed on it that you can program. I chose to follow the news of the suicide of L'Wren Scott, high fashion designer and girlfriend (?) of Mick Jagger for thirteen years closely.  I normally have the phone shut off all day, but I was checking that news hourly, all day, all night, and when I woke up in the middle of the night.

Not an especially fashionable person, I might not have heard of L'Wren if she were not associated with Mick Jagger.  In fact, I first picked up the news because I was reading a book about the Rolling Stones and picked up that they were on tour. 

The news was SPECULATIVE and REPETITIVE and therefore not much was new.  As usual I suspected that the speculation became the official word and that reports of family strife were probably exaggerated.  I thought how tough it must be to live your life and then have your death in the public eye, and the funeral is today!  (That is, if they have the tight security at Hollywood Forever cemetery in place.  I read guests will be delivered by car to tents.  The tents should keep the photographers from taking close ups of Mick and family and friends crying their eyes out.

WHY AM I SO HUNG UP ON THIS STORY?

Well, I think it has to do with something that I have not seen any coverage on, and that is that L'Wren was raised as the adopted daughter of a devout Latter Day Saints Family and I wonder if she is still a believer or what it is that she (or Mick) actually believe, if anything, spiritually,

My guess is that she left that religion long ago, the way she left Utah for Paris modeling or Hollywood Stylist work, or New York based fashion design.  One of the reasons I think this is that Latter Day Saints STRESS MARRIAGE, especially early marriage, and HAVING CHILDREN.  I think that there are more babies being born to Latter Day Saints Couples than Catholic Couples here in the United States.  I read that L'Wren was married to two millionaires before she chose to be not married to Mick Jagger for all these years, both marriages ending in divorce, who knows why.  She was career oriented or she had fertility issues or they did or maybe she didn't want to bring children into marriages that ended a couple years into it.

My feeling is that because she was raised in this conservative religion that expects marriage and children she may have felt a failure and that may have been more important a failure than a fashion business that needed loans or restructuring or bankruptcy.

I wish she were more FEMINIST!  But I think her feminine fashions were all about men and women having very different roles in life.

I too am speculating.

All for now,

Sister


C Sister/ Never Married No Kids BlogSpot 2014  All Rights Reserved.

UNMARRIED ORG FOR UNMARRIED EQUALITY - FOR GAY MARRIAGE

UNMARRIED ORG - FOR UNMARRIED EQUALITY  site link...

OK, one of my personal jokes is that the ONLY people who want to get married these days are GAY PEOPLE...

REVISITING KIDFREE AND LOVING IT

KIDFREE AND LOVING IT - RESOURCES including TERMINOLOGY   (EVER WANT TO KNOW WHAT DIAPERWHIPPED MEANS?!

JOEY RAMONE : NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS

Born Jeffry Ross Hyman, every profile of Joey I've ever read says he had girlfriends but... some even claim to know he was "sterile!"  Really!  As if infertility would explain why someone would not marry!  Maybe he didn't want to.  Maybe he didn't have to.   Joey died in 2001 of lymphoma cancer.


HERE'S his web site :JOEY RAMONE.COM

SINGLE PARENTS EXCLUDED FROM MARRIAGE AS BEST FORM OF COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP?

PARENTING BLOG - DOES CHAMPIONING MARRIAGE   VERY INTERESTING ARTICLE!

"The theory that the “hollowing out of marriage” is harming children comes from the kinds of statistics and anecdotes described earlier this year in “Two Classes, Divided by ‘I Do’”: lower scores on standardized tests, poorer grades and an increased likelihood of dropping out of high school or failing to attend college; and stories of single parents with little time left after work, who struggle to provide the same access to activities, help with homework or even to read aloud."

SISTER HERE!  FOR ME PERSONALLY, I BELIEVE A STRONG MARRIAGE COMES FIRST BEFORE HAVING CHILDREN DOES and that no one should decide how many children they want before marriage or agree to more than one until they've actually had one.  BEFORE MARRIAGE people ought to discuss their feelings and thoughts about having children though, and it's unethical to claim you want to have children when you don't just to get someone to marry you.  If one person feels strongly that they do not want children, then they shouldn't make a life partner out of someone who could not live without children.  At issue is age, health, stability of income...  Children cost money and loving them won't make up for destitution.

As for the gay marriage issue, I'm all for it, without it being my own personal issue.

UNCONVENTIONAL NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS? HERE ARE SOME RETORTS TO STUPID QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS!

1) When I hear someone saying something stupid about me on the basis that I'm NMNK I will speak up and tell them "That's Stupid!"  (I'm especially sick of hearing "You never gave birth so you don't know what it is to raise/have a child.")

2) When someone such as a stranger asks me my marital status I will say "unavailable," and offer no further explaination than "Just am."  (If you don't have the courage for this try saying unmarried rather than single.  You really do not owe strangers personal information anyway.)

3) When someone such as a stupid stranger asks (usually because they just learned I'm NMNK) "Have you ever been in love?"  I'll say "Am I a human being?"

4) When someone suggests that I'm childless because I "ran out of time,"  I'll say, "NO actually not having children was my PLAN!)

5) When someone tries to introduce me to someone else for the purposes of matchmaking I will no longer agree just because I like this middle-person.  I will ask "What makes you think this person and me are compatible?"  and "Let me think about it."

6) When I meet someone who has a woe is me attitude simply because they have not married or had children (yet) I will suggest to them that they read this blog!

THE HOLIDAYS FOR ONE!

Here we are closing into the last cluster of Holidays - Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve, and New Years, and I haven't got a date and I don't care.  I'm not depressed.  I don't feel bad for myself.  I like being single and unattached.  I have freedom compared to most people I know who are overworked from having jobs and having families.  Many of these people say they do it all for their children, but rarely have quality time for those children.  Everything they do is in a rush. It's chaos most of the time.  Most of them overdose their children with gifts to make up for the time they don't have to spend with them. Most of these children are spoiled.

As far as visiting other people goes, me and my doggie are planning on a three mile walk that will allow us to visit my 92 year old senior citizen friend some time soon.  He lost a wife he met while a young teenager and thus knew for over 60 years when she died and has children and grandchildren but is mostly alone most of the time.  I respect him because he reads and writes, keeping his intellect.  He gets out of the house more than most people his age and refuses to use a cane.  At the senior living home he's in there are 10 women for every one man and he's still keeping all of them at arm's length.  His wife was it for him and I get that.

I feel happy that I have all my (minimal) shopping done.  That my cupboards are stocked with food.  That I have a bunch of old movies I want to watch and a plan to eat healthy while I watch them, doggie at my side.   Wishing my readers Happy Holiday for ONE!   Sister

A STAY AT HOME THANKSGIVING - ME AND MY RECENTLY ATTACKED DOG

Maybe it's because these days it's not uncommon to eat turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and green beans any time of the year, when you have a taste for it, but I'm in no mood for THANKSGIVING.

A few days ago I felt up for it, but now I want to stay home with my dog.

What happened to change my mind or my mood?

My dog, a small dog, was attacked while we were on an early morning walk by a big black dog, a dog unleashed.

As we approached the usual cross over from cement to wood chips, an area my dog gets stickies on from time to time and so goes cautiously on, I noticed the dogs were looking at each other and appeared stalled.  I attributed my dog's caution to wanting to survey the area and go slow over it, so I continued and she followed.  Suddenly the big black dog was upon her and since she was leashed she couldn't get away.  She tried to duck as he growled and tried to chew up her snout and head.  I was screaming out loud!  The owner of the black dog called him off to no avail.  I pushed the big black dog away, fearless in the moment, which was a little crazy.  He went for another round at her. Finally he pulled her away.  This big black dog had hatred in its eyes.

"There's a leash law in this town and a $1200 fine for having your dog off leash for starters, " I said.  Your dog wanted to maul my dog and kill her.  She's small and timid.  She doesn't defend herself.  She has a hard time imagining anyone - any dog - wouldn't like her."

The man seemed quiet and maybe remorseful.

I checked for wounds and blood and miraculously saw none.  I like to think that the big black dog got mostly her long hair in its mouth.

No I didn't get his ID etc.  I don't know him or where he lives.  (Only later by description did I realize that this may be the man who the neighborhood is looking for, a man with a big dog that never bends to pick up his dog's shit!)

I picked up my dog and walked her about 30 feet and then set her back down to walk home.  At home I put her under the bed covers with me.  She seemed OK.  I hoped what they say is true, that a dog is forgetful, but within the hour she had thrown up on the carpet.  It was nerves - trauma.  Her little body holds this memory.

I had to leave her for the day.

Later, after talking to a friend who has three dogs smaller than mine, I decided to take her advice and feed my dog baby food incase her stomach was upset.  Indeed it was.  For a week she'd ignored the wheatgrass I have planted on the doorstep in a pot.  Now she was avid to eat the wheatgrass.  She ate only half a jar of the beef baby food puree and then snuggled right next to me in bed.

It's my turn to try and cry out the inner hysteria I felt when unthinkingly trying to rescue her from attack.  I've been on the verge of tears since, angry, and scared.

What if she had been mauled and this owner had run off and instead of having her next to me she was DEAD?  What if I'd had to put her asleep?

So I am THANKFUL that I have my dog alive and well.