ALL IN A ROW

 

SENIORS WHO GAVE THEIR CHILDREN "EVERYTHING" and STILL DO NOT GET VISITS

I was talking to someone about this the other day and they said, "Sister, you do not know what the relationships were like. Maybe these parents abused their children and don't deserve a relationship."  He had a point, but as a NMNK I have looked in on a few seniors in my neighborhood who went to live in Assisted Living.  I looked in on people who

NEVER MARRIED OR HAD KIDS

Had children who were disabled and were in some way not capable.

Had children who hated them; sometimes the reasons were questionable.  Such as the woman whose daughter hated her because she also had a son who was ill and needed her attention much more.

Had children who were given cars, college educations, and help financing starter homes, but who still rarely visited their parents.

That the children were "too busy" or "have their own life," were the reasons given.

I just thought that maybe these children were only too glad they didn't have to take time off from their jobs or careers or their travel or whatever because their parents were in what was considered a safe place.

However even the so called "exclusive" building was not a great. For instance, at one place they had chicken almost every night for dinner, there was theft going on and it was probably staff blaming residents, and I walked in on an employee having a very long personal phone conversation who let the front desk - and taking calls from residents go without attendance.

I'm meeting more only children who have the full responsibility for BOTH parents as they age now.

One woman has parents who divorced, a mom with memory loss, who are in two different places.  She is NMNK and burdened with this unshared responsibility though she is intelligent, educated, and loves her parents.

Without judgement on what sort of relationship a parent has with their children,  I can say that HAVING CHILDREN IS NO GUARANTEE THAT THEY WILL BE ALIVE, WELL, INTERESTED IN YOU, or THERE FOR YOU IN SICKNESS and in AGE.

HAVING CHILDREN ONLY BECAUSE YOU THINK SOMEONE WILL BE THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU GET OLD is NOT A REASON TO HAVE CHILDREN.

Sister

NMNK in 2023 REVIEW: ARE YOU NMNK BECAUSE OF FINANCIAL CONSIDERATIONS?

 Hello my friends, NMNK and otherwise.

This year I ...

Had to tell a man who has a daughter but otherwise has been divorced for years without any intent to remarry what NMNK means.  (It was funny because he thought maybe I was trying to tell him about my sexuality)  Never Married No Kids.

Met more people who are having trouble paying their rent (even when they have had several children who are NOT helping their parents).  I met divorced or unmarried persons who are stuck in inadequate housing... such as living in a room or living with one or more roommates rther than having their own apartment or home.

Was proposed to by a friend since he said, neither of us have ever married.  (But he had a ten year relationship with a woman he did not marry, who left the relationship to marry someone else.  I thought he was sincere but have no romantic or sexual interest in him.  I had to remind him that crushes don't last and that living together or getting married is serious.

Had a crush of my own - Yes it happens.  But I suppose the interest was not mutual because this man did not make a move. 

Met a NMNK man, who has had sex with a LOT of women but came closest to marriage with a ten year relationship that ended badly, tell me about how when he was 30 he ad his then girlfriend decided upon an abortion.  He said sometimes he thinks that he could have a child who would be 40 now, but that there is no way that he could have supported a child in his profession.  (Lot's of people work hard and cannot afford to bring a child into the word or raise it.)

Met a man, a senior who said that he is not willing to consider dating for two reasons.  One, he physically cannot have sex anymore, and secondly that if he married and it did not work out then he would loose his condo, which is basically his safety, security, and net worth.

ARE YOU NMNK BECAUSE OF FINANCIAL CONSIDERATIONS?

Sister

INTENTIONAL COMMUNITY

 

POPULATION SERVICES INTERNATIONAL

 POPULATION SERVICES INTERNATIONAL

Linking here to Population Services International, the organization that Ashley Judd works for and writes about so vividly in her new book, just out, called ALL THAT IS BITTER AND SWEET. Some people feel that we should be concentrating on the problems of our own country when we are in such deep doo-doo economically, and perhaps on our way to being a 3rd world country, others that spending billions to help other people in other countries out of desperate poverty; this book is also about children and women held as sex slaves (she uses the term enslaved prostitutes throughout) DO YOU DO VOLUNTEER?

POPULATION SERVICES INTERNATIONAL

ALONE NOT LONELY

 

SINGLE BY FATE? GOD'S PLAN FOR YOU TO BE ALONE AND LONELY?

Have you ever met someone who was convinced that GOD has a PLAN for their life and interprets every bad thing as some part of a grand plan that will end OK for them?  Have you ever met someone who talks this belief aloud and interprets everything that has happened and is happening for you the same way?

Recently I met such a person, a woman, while waiting for a bus with her after just missing one.  It was a too hot day, I was tired, and worried that my dog had been home alone too long. 

At first I appreciated the empathy but as she began to throw on the GOD'S PLAN interpretation of being stranded for a half hour and then my life, I felt sorry that I had been so frustrated that I'd spewed information aloud.

I felt uncomfortable and was unable to be honest and tell her that I personally DO NOT BELIEVE THAT GOD HAS PLANNED THE MICRODETAILS OF MY LIFE, and certainly not a GRANDE SCHEME.  I think it is a very passive interpretation of life, and I think we should be striving towards goals, even if we are not so successful.

When I got home I began to think about how many people think that if they marry or not it's up to GOD.  So many of these people are also so fatalistic that they actually think Mr. or Mrs. Right is going to knock on their door, introduce themselves, and proceed towards marriage.  These people are maybe shy, or afraid to take risks, or took risks and lost.  This is why it is best to STRIVE!

C 2021

Sister

EVERY WHICH WAY

 

IT'S MY LIFE : TALK TALK

IT'S MY LIFE : TALK TALK