It's True, you can love your mom and be Happily Infertile, Childfree By Choice, Celibate... or simply NOT READY TO HAVE CHILDREN. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT MARRIED. Yes you can be a NMNK and still love your mom.
But you may not like your mom much if she's one of those pushy women who is trying to get you married so you can have "her" grandchildren. ...Matchmaking you when you don't want to be, telling other people that you have a problem with commitment when you don't...nagging at you...
I have a cousin with a mother like that. (Luckily she isn't the side of the family that supplies me my genes!)
I told my cousin, "She has no right to demand or expect that of you."
But Mom Z. does.
It's time for this mom to go find something else to do with her elder years than wait around to be a grandma or live her life through others, even if it's her own daughter.
Not only does Mom Z. have her daughter's life planned out for her daughter, she has her daughters life planned out for herself! SELFISH!
Mom Z. has been a control freak and overly involved in her daughter's life for a long time.
As some of you know I haven't posted for several weeks, which is probably an all-time record of absence since I began this blog. I noticed it slip down in rank because I wasn't posting and - to my horror - I saw so very many more sites that are ALL ABOUT WHAT'S "WRONG" with a person that they are 30 and still not married, 40 and still not married, 50 and still not married... It's pathetic!
2/26/13
TAYLOR SWIFT : GET OFF HER BACK ALREADY!
GET OFF TAYLOR SWIFT's BACK ALREADY!
Over the last few months I've been increasingly sensitized by the way that media - mostly magazines and tabloids - have been closely following the young singer-songwriter Taylor Swift's love life. One article after another has put her on the spot about her love life, why she does or doesn't have a steady boyfriend, or is not heading towards (early) marriage and/or children. It's almost as if they want her to explain or apologize. Things got worse when she ended or he ended the relationship with a Kennedy.
So many young women feel this pressure when they are decidedly career oriented or feel that marriage and children are commitments and responsibilities that they wish to delay or avoid all together. In Taylor Swift's case THIS IS THE SAD SIDE OF FAME.
What's wrong with not being heavily invested in getting married? Certainly Taylor is not the first or last young woman who wants to date for fun, or date for self-knowledge, rather than to date for marriage.
The hounding by the media of this extremely creative, capable, talented, possibly musical genius, as well as gorgeous woman, makes me sick.
Of course some of the problem here is not journalists desperate to make a story. It's also the psychologists desperate to propagate their profession, pathologizing the choice to be NMNK - even when someone is only in their early 20's.
There is always some psychologist or MFCC who wants to appear to be the expert on record who takes a public jab at someone they will never see in their office, and if they did THEN THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE CONFIDENTIAL ISN'T IT!?
Meanwhile, look who went ahead and bred a couple children - and wants more - even though she is mentally ill, does not have a stable relationship or marriage, and is in fact under someone else's custody...and is no stay at home mom to raise them.
You know who I mean.
C Sister 2013 / Never Married No Kids Blog. All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights
Over the last few months I've been increasingly sensitized by the way that media - mostly magazines and tabloids - have been closely following the young singer-songwriter Taylor Swift's love life. One article after another has put her on the spot about her love life, why she does or doesn't have a steady boyfriend, or is not heading towards (early) marriage and/or children. It's almost as if they want her to explain or apologize. Things got worse when she ended or he ended the relationship with a Kennedy.
So many young women feel this pressure when they are decidedly career oriented or feel that marriage and children are commitments and responsibilities that they wish to delay or avoid all together. In Taylor Swift's case THIS IS THE SAD SIDE OF FAME.
What's wrong with not being heavily invested in getting married? Certainly Taylor is not the first or last young woman who wants to date for fun, or date for self-knowledge, rather than to date for marriage.
The hounding by the media of this extremely creative, capable, talented, possibly musical genius, as well as gorgeous woman, makes me sick.
Of course some of the problem here is not journalists desperate to make a story. It's also the psychologists desperate to propagate their profession, pathologizing the choice to be NMNK - even when someone is only in their early 20's.
There is always some psychologist or MFCC who wants to appear to be the expert on record who takes a public jab at someone they will never see in their office, and if they did THEN THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE CONFIDENTIAL ISN'T IT!?
Meanwhile, look who went ahead and bred a couple children - and wants more - even though she is mentally ill, does not have a stable relationship or marriage, and is in fact under someone else's custody...and is no stay at home mom to raise them.
You know who I mean.
C Sister 2013 / Never Married No Kids Blog. All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights
1/16/13
CANADA NMNK! LIVING IN BACHELOR TOWNHOUSES IN TORONTO? FREEDOM OR EROSION OF SOCIETY
LIVING ALONE : A TESTAMENT TO FREEDOM OR AN EROSION OF SOCIETY article by Zosia Bielski from the Globe and Mail link here!
EXCERPT: There are now, for the first time, more one-person households in Canada than those populated by couples who have children. (Only two-person households are more common.)
EXCERPT: There are now, for the first time, more one-person households in Canada than those populated by couples who have children. (Only two-person households are more common.)
1/14/13
2013 BRINGS US A NEW OPPORTUNITY TO DESIGN OUR OWN WHOLE LIVES? WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Sister here!
Although I know we can decide at any time to make resolutions, or new goals, I'm probably like you. I look to the new year to be the time to start.
I was reading that the number one goal of Americans is to loose weight (especially the weight recently acquired due to holiday over eating!) Well, I could probably loose ten pounds, but I'm not worrying over it. Overall I'm satisfied with my life.
Sure there are a few things I'd like to do that I'm not. I'd like more time and energy and money. (Are you laughing with me?)
Hmm. What to do first?
Today I'm thinking about the people who swear they are going to redesign their entire lives. Basically, they are unhappy with just about everything. Thus the whole life makeover in contemplation!
If your life as a NMNK is not happy, and you know the source of that unhappiness is that you ARE a NMNK, well, you may be able to focus on getting married and/or having a child. Being more traditional than many, I think the married should come first. However, some of you may have 8 days in your week, extreme energy and loads of money in the bank as well as a huge extended family that provides free child care or raising the child in a "village." (Woops! I forgot to mention easy fertility!)
Most people I know are very busy earning a living and feel that they do not have enough time to focus on themselves. They scramble to get things done on work nights so that once in a while they can take an entire weekend and go out of town. Make that scramble and lie to their boss about being sick on a Friday, so they can take off 3 whole days in a row! (Some people love to travel alone too!)
Sometimes it seems to me that economics - money - earning it - spending it - having enough - feeling that we have enough - is the key issue for the majority.
But I have to ask. DO YOU DREAD MONDAY?
It's easy to say to someone quite young that they can just change jobs and be done with the bad boss, or the bad business, or whatever. Not so easy for most people. It's true that a NMNK may be totally unencumbered with the issue of having to support other people, though some are caregivers for their parents.
When it comes right down to it, what is the one thing that you want that will make all the difference in your life?
Although I know we can decide at any time to make resolutions, or new goals, I'm probably like you. I look to the new year to be the time to start.
I was reading that the number one goal of Americans is to loose weight (especially the weight recently acquired due to holiday over eating!) Well, I could probably loose ten pounds, but I'm not worrying over it. Overall I'm satisfied with my life.
Sure there are a few things I'd like to do that I'm not. I'd like more time and energy and money. (Are you laughing with me?)
Hmm. What to do first?
Today I'm thinking about the people who swear they are going to redesign their entire lives. Basically, they are unhappy with just about everything. Thus the whole life makeover in contemplation!
If your life as a NMNK is not happy, and you know the source of that unhappiness is that you ARE a NMNK, well, you may be able to focus on getting married and/or having a child. Being more traditional than many, I think the married should come first. However, some of you may have 8 days in your week, extreme energy and loads of money in the bank as well as a huge extended family that provides free child care or raising the child in a "village." (Woops! I forgot to mention easy fertility!)
Most people I know are very busy earning a living and feel that they do not have enough time to focus on themselves. They scramble to get things done on work nights so that once in a while they can take an entire weekend and go out of town. Make that scramble and lie to their boss about being sick on a Friday, so they can take off 3 whole days in a row! (Some people love to travel alone too!)
Sometimes it seems to me that economics - money - earning it - spending it - having enough - feeling that we have enough - is the key issue for the majority.
But I have to ask. DO YOU DREAD MONDAY?
It's easy to say to someone quite young that they can just change jobs and be done with the bad boss, or the bad business, or whatever. Not so easy for most people. It's true that a NMNK may be totally unencumbered with the issue of having to support other people, though some are caregivers for their parents.
When it comes right down to it, what is the one thing that you want that will make all the difference in your life?
12/22/12
ONWARD TO 2013!
I see we have survived 12 -12 - 2012 and 12 -21- 2012....
and so...
see you in 2013!
Sister
and so...
see you in 2013!
Sister
8/12/12
IS YOUR DOG OR CAT YOUR SPOUSE SUBSTITUTE?
Is your dog or cat taking so much of your time, energy, love? that you don't feel the need for a spouse?
(I used to know a woman who wouldn't go to college unless her parents supplied her an apartment where she could live with her dog!)
Or maybe you're looking for love at the dog park?
(I used to know a woman who wouldn't go to college unless her parents supplied her an apartment where she could live with her dog!)
Or maybe you're looking for love at the dog park?
8/8/12
NMNK and PETS : MARIE CORELLI quote
"I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night." - Maria Corelli
5/2/12
CEMETERY DISCRIMINATION : FROM NMNK ARCHIVES
Are you aware that some cemeteries bury "single" people in rows with each other, separate from the double headed tombstones of the married? Now, I first realized this when I was in Santa Cruz, California and doing a tombstone inventory of an old cemetery there. They also had a separate (but close in) area for Chinese and war veterans, and of course this is a lesson in history and the development of a town with ethnic immigration of a few minorities.
I wonder if this has anything to do with beliefs about the resurrection of the dead in the end times/judgement.
Tombstones are often tributes to the best in people but we all know of couples who were horribly married but in death rest aside each other till eternity - or the worms! Walking along in the cemetery you can imagine that they are in eternal life happily with each other, and maybe this notion satisfies their children, but you know better. Besides what ever happened to that marriage vow "Till death?"
I think cemeteries are set up for the married people. But you can pop a spinster or confirmed bachelor down in with the parents' graves too.
REPORT HERE ANY CEMETERIES YOU KNOW THAT WILL NOT PUT SINGLE PEOPLE IN NEAR THE MARRIEDS!
HAVE YOU CHOSEN TO BE CREAMATED SO AS TO NOT DEAL WITH THE FAMILY CEMETERY?
FROM JANUARY 2008
I wonder if this has anything to do with beliefs about the resurrection of the dead in the end times/judgement.
Tombstones are often tributes to the best in people but we all know of couples who were horribly married but in death rest aside each other till eternity - or the worms! Walking along in the cemetery you can imagine that they are in eternal life happily with each other, and maybe this notion satisfies their children, but you know better. Besides what ever happened to that marriage vow "Till death?"
I think cemeteries are set up for the married people. But you can pop a spinster or confirmed bachelor down in with the parents' graves too.
REPORT HERE ANY CEMETERIES YOU KNOW THAT WILL NOT PUT SINGLE PEOPLE IN NEAR THE MARRIEDS!
HAVE YOU CHOSEN TO BE CREAMATED SO AS TO NOT DEAL WITH THE FAMILY CEMETERY?
FROM JANUARY 2008
4/18/12
ARE YOU NMNK BECAUSE YOU'RE A CLOSETED GAY ?
It seems everyone who's gay is "OUT" right?
There are gay pride parades in most cities and so many places in the country where you can walk hand in hand (or even wildly make out) with your favorite person of the same gender in public, so what's left to fear?
There are gay pride parades in most cities and so many places in the country where you can walk hand in hand (or even wildly make out) with your favorite person of the same gender in public, so what's left to fear?
MANY LIBERAL PEOPLE FORGET THAT THERE ARE LOTS OF NOT SO LIBERAL PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT OK WITH GAY! Besides those who are in a questioning phase about their own sexuality and don't want to say, or are simply more private by nature, there are those who come from conservative families, have jobs where they've heard the anti gay talk and attitudes expressed so they don't dare come out in their workplace, and those who go to churches that are explicitly not ok with gay such as the Latter Day Saints.
Yes, things may have changed a lot, but maybe not so much.
Yes, things may have changed a lot, but maybe not so much.
ARE YOU SECRETLY GAY? WOULD YOU SAY THAT S WHY YOU ARE NMNK?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)