The Confirmed Bachelor Down the Block is probably not at all mysterious but in walking my dog I've met a log of single women who Wonder About Him. They want to know if he has ever married, if he has children, and (though he is in a macho profession) if he is gay, or whatever! Some are curious and some are looking for a man and think he's handsome.
I talk to this Confirmed Bachelor once in a while. I pass by his house a lot because I walk my dog past it on my way to the store and I notice that he is a person who keeps himself immaculate and so is his house and yard. He has the time and inclination to have everything clean and in place.
He is smiling and happy. He has friends - male friends.
They seem to spend the weekends watching sports together.
He's hard working and up early to go to various job sites.
A few times he was on his porch with one of his male friends and me and the dog went over there to talk to them. We joked and laughed a lot.
Then, he joked that he was "available," but the way he was joking, I wasn't sure. Was he baiting me? Was he making a joke of his Confirmed Bachelorhood? Did he want me to ask him out? Did he think I was only talking to him because I'm looking for a man?
Well, I'm NOT looking for a man, but I wouldn't mind making a new friend.
I backed off even making a friend of him. For a few weeks I avoided walking that side of the street with my dog.
I thought maybe he would be surprisingly complicated if I tried to, that I would have to give him too many assurances that I was not trying to pick him up, date him, or be anything other than a platonic friend. I thought it would be over doing it to go to him and say, "I am only looking for friendship."
Was he wary of me? Is he "afraid of women?" Now I may be more curious about the Confirmed Bachelor than most of the other women who want to know about him.
IF HE WANTS A GIRLFRIEND HE IS MISSING OUT ON SOME DECENT PROSPECTS!
Sister
4/3/14
CELIBACY AS THE "NEW SEXY?" A HOT TOPIC : IS IT ALLOWED? WILL IT PREVENT CHILDREN BORN OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE
HUFF POST : Sannon Colleary full article ON THE MARKETING OF SEX
EXCERPT: ..." read a fascinating article in the New York Times called "Life Without Sex" by the engaging French author and French Elle editor, Sophie Fontanel. The author took a 12-year hiatus from sexual congress... My first thought when I read this was, "Can you do that? Is that allowed?" he writes, "At the beginning, I kept the fact that I had given up sex a secret, and nobody around me could guess how untouched I was. I knew perfectly well that people accept all kinds of sexual behaviors, just so long as you are doing something with your body."
MYBROTHA ; one Black persons viewpoint of Celibacy as Sexy full article link ON THE ISSUE OF CHILDREN BEING BORN OUT OF WEDLOCK IN THE BLACK COMMUNIT
EXCERPT: "It's sexy because it represents a total commitment to emotional, spiritual and intimate growth, and puts the worries and social pressures to have sex on the backburner. And while many people believe that abstaining from sex is difficult, faith-based dating sites like BlackCelibacy.com are dedicated to providing education and support for those who wish to explore celibacy.
With over 70 percent of kids being born out of wedlock, the continued spread of HIV/AIDS, and blacks leading the nation in divorce, BlackCelibacy believes it is important to work on fostering more healthy relationships in the Black community...."
BLACK CELIBACY COM to check out that site, click here!
VOGUE : CELIBATE MARRIAGE
EXCERPT:"Celibacy is no longer a vexatious condition of religious life. It is now a considered choice individuals are exerting -- those not of the cloth or cloister but choosing nevertheless to gird their loins, test the frontiers of self-restraint and redirect their Eros towards other ends. Let's not forget, Gandhi and Freud did it."
ENJOY THESE ARTICLE!
Sister
EXCERPT: ..." read a fascinating article in the New York Times called "Life Without Sex" by the engaging French author and French Elle editor, Sophie Fontanel. The author took a 12-year hiatus from sexual congress... My first thought when I read this was, "Can you do that? Is that allowed?" he writes, "At the beginning, I kept the fact that I had given up sex a secret, and nobody around me could guess how untouched I was. I knew perfectly well that people accept all kinds of sexual behaviors, just so long as you are doing something with your body."
MYBROTHA ; one Black persons viewpoint of Celibacy as Sexy full article link ON THE ISSUE OF CHILDREN BEING BORN OUT OF WEDLOCK IN THE BLACK COMMUNIT
EXCERPT: "It's sexy because it represents a total commitment to emotional, spiritual and intimate growth, and puts the worries and social pressures to have sex on the backburner. And while many people believe that abstaining from sex is difficult, faith-based dating sites like BlackCelibacy.com are dedicated to providing education and support for those who wish to explore celibacy.
With over 70 percent of kids being born out of wedlock, the continued spread of HIV/AIDS, and blacks leading the nation in divorce, BlackCelibacy believes it is important to work on fostering more healthy relationships in the Black community...."
BLACK CELIBACY COM to check out that site, click here!
VOGUE : CELIBATE MARRIAGE
EXCERPT:"Celibacy is no longer a vexatious condition of religious life. It is now a considered choice individuals are exerting -- those not of the cloth or cloister but choosing nevertheless to gird their loins, test the frontiers of self-restraint and redirect their Eros towards other ends. Let's not forget, Gandhi and Freud did it."
ENJOY THESE ARTICLE!
Sister
4/1/14
DO YOU HATE DATING? YOU CAN'T BE MATCH MADE
Is this you?
You can't be match made.
When someone tries to match you, you feel uneasy, even angry.
You don't want to go out to clubs, unless you just want to dance or listen to the music, but you would happily hang at a table and talk, or dance and say "Thanks! but no Thanks" because you do not want to give out your phone number or ask for anyone else's number. You do not want to pretend that you will call someone to see them again, unless maybe just as friends.
But you've noticed that when you say "I'm just looking for friends" most of the time you are not believed. If someone is interested in you more than you are interested in them, saying that you're just interested in meeting people for friendship usually results in them trying to change your mind - now you're a challenge!
So if you're simply nice, because you aren't trying to be mean, just honest, the whole club scene just results in follow up and follow through you aren't really interested in.
You're not anti-social. You just don't want to date. Not now. Maybe not ever. You need to get over you past experiences or you need a break. Maybe the problem is sex. You don't like it or you want to wait until marriage or you think it's over emphasized.
Maybe you want to try going a year or longerwithout having sex at all, because you find that sex seems to complicate things.
You are not interested in meeting on the Internet either. The whole experience leaves you feeling like you're in a beauty competition and marketing a product when you're a person. It feels unnatural to you - and a time waster.
Or you've tried it and it didn't work for you. You spent your time meeting people who just wanted to e-mail, or who you met in person and didn't want to actually date you after all that.
IS THIS YOU?
Sister
(All original writing on this blog is C Sister/ Never Married No Kids Blogspot)
You can't be match made.
When someone tries to match you, you feel uneasy, even angry.
You don't want to go out to clubs, unless you just want to dance or listen to the music, but you would happily hang at a table and talk, or dance and say "Thanks! but no Thanks" because you do not want to give out your phone number or ask for anyone else's number. You do not want to pretend that you will call someone to see them again, unless maybe just as friends.
But you've noticed that when you say "I'm just looking for friends" most of the time you are not believed. If someone is interested in you more than you are interested in them, saying that you're just interested in meeting people for friendship usually results in them trying to change your mind - now you're a challenge!
So if you're simply nice, because you aren't trying to be mean, just honest, the whole club scene just results in follow up and follow through you aren't really interested in.
You're not anti-social. You just don't want to date. Not now. Maybe not ever. You need to get over you past experiences or you need a break. Maybe the problem is sex. You don't like it or you want to wait until marriage or you think it's over emphasized.
Maybe you want to try going a year or longerwithout having sex at all, because you find that sex seems to complicate things.
You are not interested in meeting on the Internet either. The whole experience leaves you feeling like you're in a beauty competition and marketing a product when you're a person. It feels unnatural to you - and a time waster.
Or you've tried it and it didn't work for you. You spent your time meeting people who just wanted to e-mail, or who you met in person and didn't want to actually date you after all that.
IS THIS YOU?
Sister
(All original writing on this blog is C Sister/ Never Married No Kids Blogspot)
3/26/14
L'WREN SCOTT SUICIDE and FUNERAL : I'M ADDICTED TO THE NEWS COVERAGE! WHY?
I have a really lousy cell phone that won't download any apps, but it does have a news feed on it that you can program. I chose to follow the news of the suicide of L'Wren Scott, high fashion designer and girlfriend (?) of Mick Jagger for thirteen years closely. I normally have the phone shut off all day, but I was checking that news hourly, all day, all night, and when I woke up in the middle of the night.
Not an especially fashionable person, I might not have heard of L'Wren if she were not associated with Mick Jagger. In fact, I first picked up the news because I was reading a book about the Rolling Stones and picked up that they were on tour.
The news was SPECULATIVE and REPETITIVE and therefore not much was new. As usual I suspected that the speculation became the official word and that reports of family strife were probably exaggerated. I thought how tough it must be to live your life and then have your death in the public eye, and the funeral is today! (That is, if they have the tight security at Hollywood Forever cemetery in place. I read guests will be delivered by car to tents. The tents should keep the photographers from taking close ups of Mick and family and friends crying their eyes out.
WHY AM I SO HUNG UP ON THIS STORY?
Well, I think it has to do with something that I have not seen any coverage on, and that is that L'Wren was raised as the adopted daughter of a devout Latter Day Saints Family and I wonder if she is still a believer or what it is that she (or Mick) actually believe, if anything, spiritually,
My guess is that she left that religion long ago, the way she left Utah for Paris modeling or Hollywood Stylist work, or New York based fashion design. One of the reasons I think this is that Latter Day Saints STRESS MARRIAGE, especially early marriage, and HAVING CHILDREN. I think that there are more babies being born to Latter Day Saints Couples than Catholic Couples here in the United States. I read that L'Wren was married to two millionaires before she chose to be not married to Mick Jagger for all these years, both marriages ending in divorce, who knows why. She was career oriented or she had fertility issues or they did or maybe she didn't want to bring children into marriages that ended a couple years into it.
My feeling is that because she was raised in this conservative religion that expects marriage and children she may have felt a failure and that may have been more important a failure than a fashion business that needed loans or restructuring or bankruptcy.
I wish she were more FEMINIST! But I think her feminine fashions were all about men and women having very different roles in life.
I too am speculating.
All for now,
Sister
C Sister/ Never Married No Kids BlogSpot 2014 All Rights Reserved.
Not an especially fashionable person, I might not have heard of L'Wren if she were not associated with Mick Jagger. In fact, I first picked up the news because I was reading a book about the Rolling Stones and picked up that they were on tour.
The news was SPECULATIVE and REPETITIVE and therefore not much was new. As usual I suspected that the speculation became the official word and that reports of family strife were probably exaggerated. I thought how tough it must be to live your life and then have your death in the public eye, and the funeral is today! (That is, if they have the tight security at Hollywood Forever cemetery in place. I read guests will be delivered by car to tents. The tents should keep the photographers from taking close ups of Mick and family and friends crying their eyes out.
WHY AM I SO HUNG UP ON THIS STORY?
Well, I think it has to do with something that I have not seen any coverage on, and that is that L'Wren was raised as the adopted daughter of a devout Latter Day Saints Family and I wonder if she is still a believer or what it is that she (or Mick) actually believe, if anything, spiritually,
My guess is that she left that religion long ago, the way she left Utah for Paris modeling or Hollywood Stylist work, or New York based fashion design. One of the reasons I think this is that Latter Day Saints STRESS MARRIAGE, especially early marriage, and HAVING CHILDREN. I think that there are more babies being born to Latter Day Saints Couples than Catholic Couples here in the United States. I read that L'Wren was married to two millionaires before she chose to be not married to Mick Jagger for all these years, both marriages ending in divorce, who knows why. She was career oriented or she had fertility issues or they did or maybe she didn't want to bring children into marriages that ended a couple years into it.
My feeling is that because she was raised in this conservative religion that expects marriage and children she may have felt a failure and that may have been more important a failure than a fashion business that needed loans or restructuring or bankruptcy.
I wish she were more FEMINIST! But I think her feminine fashions were all about men and women having very different roles in life.
I too am speculating.
All for now,
Sister
C Sister/ Never Married No Kids BlogSpot 2014 All Rights Reserved.
3/21/14
UNMARRIED ORG FOR UNMARRIED EQUALITY - FOR GAY MARRIAGE
UNMARRIED ORG - FOR UNMARRIED EQUALITY site link...
OK, one of my personal jokes is that the ONLY people who want to get married these days are GAY PEOPLE...
OK, one of my personal jokes is that the ONLY people who want to get married these days are GAY PEOPLE...
2/18/14
REVISITING KIDFREE AND LOVING IT
KIDFREE AND LOVING IT - RESOURCES including TERMINOLOGY (EVER WANT TO KNOW WHAT DIAPERWHIPPED MEANS?!
2/9/14
JOEY RAMONE : NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS
Born Jeffry Ross Hyman, every profile of Joey I've ever read says he had girlfriends but... some even claim to know he was "sterile!" Really! As if infertility would explain why someone would not marry! Maybe he didn't want to. Maybe he didn't have to. Joey died in 2001 of lymphoma cancer.
HERE'S his web site :JOEY RAMONE.COM
1/22/14
SINGLE PARENTS EXCLUDED FROM MARRIAGE AS BEST FORM OF COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP?
PARENTING BLOG - DOES CHAMPIONING MARRIAGE VERY INTERESTING ARTICLE!
"The theory that the “hollowing out of marriage” is harming children comes from the kinds of statistics and anecdotes described earlier this year in “Two Classes, Divided by ‘I Do’”: lower scores on standardized tests, poorer grades and an increased likelihood of dropping out of high school or failing to attend college; and stories of single parents with little time left after work, who struggle to provide the same access to activities, help with homework or even to read aloud."
SISTER HERE! FOR ME PERSONALLY, I BELIEVE A STRONG MARRIAGE COMES FIRST BEFORE HAVING CHILDREN DOES and that no one should decide how many children they want before marriage or agree to more than one until they've actually had one. BEFORE MARRIAGE people ought to discuss their feelings and thoughts about having children though, and it's unethical to claim you want to have children when you don't just to get someone to marry you. If one person feels strongly that they do not want children, then they shouldn't make a life partner out of someone who could not live without children. At issue is age, health, stability of income... Children cost money and loving them won't make up for destitution.
As for the gay marriage issue, I'm all for it, without it being my own personal issue.
1/2/14
UNCONVENTIONAL NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS? HERE ARE SOME RETORTS TO STUPID QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS!
1) When I hear someone saying something stupid about me on the basis that I'm NMNK I will speak up and tell them "That's Stupid!" (I'm especially sick of hearing "You never gave birth so you don't know what it is to raise/have a child.")
2) When someone such as a stranger asks me my marital status I will say "unavailable," and offer no further explaination than "Just am." (If you don't have the courage for this try saying unmarried rather than single. You really do not owe strangers personal information anyway.)
3) When someone such as a stupid stranger asks (usually because they just learned I'm NMNK) "Have you ever been in love?" I'll say "Am I a human being?"
4) When someone suggests that I'm childless because I "ran out of time," I'll say, "NO actually not having children was my PLAN!)
5) When someone tries to introduce me to someone else for the purposes of matchmaking I will no longer agree just because I like this middle-person. I will ask "What makes you think this person and me are compatible?" and "Let me think about it."
6) When I meet someone who has a woe is me attitude simply because they have not married or had children (yet) I will suggest to them that they read this blog!
2) When someone such as a stranger asks me my marital status I will say "unavailable," and offer no further explaination than "Just am." (If you don't have the courage for this try saying unmarried rather than single. You really do not owe strangers personal information anyway.)
3) When someone such as a stupid stranger asks (usually because they just learned I'm NMNK) "Have you ever been in love?" I'll say "Am I a human being?"
4) When someone suggests that I'm childless because I "ran out of time," I'll say, "NO actually not having children was my PLAN!)
5) When someone tries to introduce me to someone else for the purposes of matchmaking I will no longer agree just because I like this middle-person. I will ask "What makes you think this person and me are compatible?" and "Let me think about it."
6) When I meet someone who has a woe is me attitude simply because they have not married or had children (yet) I will suggest to them that they read this blog!
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