THE SINGLE KILLER - A TRAGIC COMEDY

SINGLE?  Then you must be SUSPECT!

ANOTHER ATTACK ON ME FOR BEING AN NMNK : SISTER SPEAKS

You haven't heard from me for a while.  

The reason is that I took a part time job in August, which for about a month in December turned into a full-time job. I went into it with hope, as I, like many of you, have been negatively affected by the Covid shut down experience.  For all the news that there are plenty of jobs, well, I think there are certain kinds of jobs that are available in some places, but the good jobs, people clung to.  So, I took this job in part because I needed to earn money and in part because they made certain 'promises' about the future that to me sounded good.

My immediate boss was a woman who upon meeting me started bragging about one of her children. I didn't realize she was baiting me to talk about my personal life. I wasn't ready to get into a 'tell all' chat with her.  It was soon clear that she had no respect for me or appreciation of my very hard work.  I soon knew I was doing the job of 2 people, sometimes 3, but I held onto their promise that soon I would be working full time and at a livable wage.  I knew from the way they were set up that probably that meant I would work in other departments with other people.  From others I learned that she was from a family of five children and the only daughter, and that she had married a high school sweetheart and had four sons. She wanted for nothing. Her husband had a successful business, she did not 'have' to work, but she wanted to. She was a volunteer who had taken on a big project.

For a few months I came home exhausted every day and my hope dwindled.  I kept my behavior professional, ignoring her taunts, but one day I felt myself shaking.  Two other women showed up to work, I thought for the holidays.  One was intimidated by her and the other, the mother of seven who had lost custody of her children because of her drug addiction, was aggressively trying to prove she was worthy of the job. Actually, having any job at all was important to both these women, but their labor was being paid for by an outside source since they were both from a sober living situation.  I and my friends by November thought that there was now no incentive for this employer to keep their word to me.  They didn't want to pay.

However, when a Covid economic relief program paid me to work there full time for the last few weeks of the year, I could not say no.  The boss was supposed to go on a vacation the last week of the year, and I looked forward to working without her being there. Though she had said and done much to demean and diminish me, and I knew it was abuse, and the two women who came out of the sober living decided they did not want to work that last week of the year, I persisted. I came home every night and pretty much went straight to bed to be ready for the next day.

It was then announced that a member of her immediate family, living with her, had a positive Covid test and if I wanted to, I could get tested.  I had been told everyone who worked there was supposed to be vaccinated but I knew she claimed she had already had Covid so there was no need...Just before she left, she and the mother of seven were talking together about a program for Christmas in which poor children were given presents from Santa.  The boss said how she had "made' her single childless brothers fork over money for this program.  Looking directly at me she sneered and said, "These people with no children."

That was not the beginning of the end. I knew this job would not sustain me.

When the new year began, the program that was paying me that last month was over.  The employer had not asked me to meet with them to discuss my future in the new year, and I did not go back. The company has not provided me the forms to do my taxes.

I have been a long time advocate for us NMNK who are used up and spit out in the workplace. I can't say this experience is typical, but I have noticed in other situations that it's assumed that the NMNK will be happy to cover for and compensate for other employees who have children.  Once in a while that is appropriate, but NMNK have things going on in their lives besides work, including caring for parents and other family members or the friends in their family of choice. 

C 2022  Never Married No Kids - BlogSpot

 

BIRTHRATE TUMBLES

 MSN : MORE PEOPLE WANT TO REMAIN CHILDLESS THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT

So few people can actually afford to have a child or children,

DO YOU FEEL PRESSURE BECAUSE OF YOUR RELIGION TO BE MARRIED RATHER THAN NMNK?

It's traditional that a person should be married and live their life partnered and raising children.  DO YOU FEEL PRESSURE BECAUSE OF YOUR RELIGION TO BE MARRIED or TO BE MARRIED AND HAVE CHILDREN?

Sister here.  I'd like to hear from you!

MAJOR GROCERY STORE VONS DISCRIMATES AGAINST THE TRADITIONAL SHOPPER - WHY WOULD I ORDER A DELIVERY WHEN I SHOP FOR SMALL AMOUNTS OF FOOD AS NEEDED?

 A while back, though I hated to do it, I signed up for Von's online deals.  The idea here is that the store is watching what you buy and so has a link between your grocery purchases, your Von's card that is your phone number and an e-mail address.  Yes I hate all that.  I THINK IT IS THE LAW THAT ALL CUSTOMERS ARE TO RECIEVE THE LOWEST ADVERTISED PRICE but like anyone else, I don't feel like calling a manager to check out of tangling with a cashier whose fault it is not.

But I did it and it seemed amazing to me that some of the thing I purchased in the past were significantly lower in price just because I went into the store website and clicked on those items.  Of course expiration dates, as with traditional paper coupons, give you the feeling that you have to hurry into the store where you are likely to purchase other items as well. 

However, I recently realized that there were MORE PRODUCTS WITH DISCOUNTS THAT WERE NOT INCLUDED FOR IN PERSON SHOPPERS if you ordered in advance to be picked up or delivered.  I guess the store is following in the steps of the Big Box stores and this might significantly change the situation with employees - specifically Union Employees.

I'm one of those people WHO REFUSES TO DO THE LABOR OF AN Employee.  People do it without realizing they are helping to eliminate jobs.  The job of a cashier is a hard one, ongoing movement, standing on one's feet for hours, and dealing with hundreds of people each day, some who are not nice and who change their mind about what they want to purchase.  However, UNION JOBS are the jobs that people can keep all their lives, as they age, and gain a decent retirement.  With this drive to have someone at the store pull items from shelves and deliver or send to pick up, I'm wondering what the future of cashiering will be.

Like many people who EAT FOR ONE, I'm a person who does not like to stock up.  I usually do not need gallons of ice cream or yogurt, I don't buy for a family and I don't want coupons that are for buying more than one of anything or bulk purchases.  To eat a variety of foods and small meals I cook for myself, I will buy what I need very close to when I need it.

Another aspect of this whole delivery system is the ASSUMPTION THAT SOMEONE IS HOME and not working or at play when boxes of food arrive. I have ordered on line only 3 times in my life and one of those times was a library book I was replacing because I lost the original and the other two times were during Covid lock downs when it was not advisable to go out.  NMNK people are usually active people into their senior years. but I suppose this is convenient for some.

It irked me as I stood in line knowing that if I were not shopping in person, my overall grocery bill would be less.  

In my area only the rich seem to avoid stores that used to be "Dollar" stores to buy grocery basics - some of which is imported from China.  Due to the economic conditions of the world which currently include dozens of ships containing imports from China waiting docking and unloading, there is word of shortages all along the line.  I do worry about food shortages.

Economics makes people search for deals on food, but I say, if you are an NMNK, protest the discrimination when it comes to stores with the deals that don't seem to include a model for the NMNK buyer.

C 2021 Never Married No Kids BlogSpot, 

ARE PEOPLE WHO BECOME PARENTS IN THEIR 60'S SELFISH? I Think So!

The fact that if you can afford it you can have a child by a surrogate has meant that many people - of any gender or sexuality can afford a child.  It has meant that women who are no longer fertile can parent. But the question is still the same: just because you can does not mean you should.

Though we cannot guarantee anything in life, we do need to think about what would happen to a child if both parents were unable to parent.

I see the crisis in affordability of everything.

I see how population is shifting due to unaffordability.

I see how contraception has allowed women to choose to have a child or not though contraception is not perfect.  Abortion also, though this is still a difficult choice for many and increasingly there are those who want to basically FORCE PARENTING.

Adoption is an option but POOR WOMEN SHOULD NOT UNPAID BABY MAKERS FOR RICH PEOPLE.

BEING NMNK does not mean you don't care about children.  

This Daily Mail UK- MAIL ON LINE article discusses the 60 somethings who have children and will likely die before they are adults.  I DO THINK IT IS SELFISH.  I seriously question people in their 50's having children for the same reason.  Wealth and a younger spouse as well as a functional family willing to step in can figure in the decision.

Daily Mail - Woman Sparks Debate Mothers in 60's Selfish by Claire Toureille

THE REASON YOU ARE NOT MARRIED?

 YOU DON'T WANT TO BE!

SANDRA BULLOCK Quote

 

I find it weird that a woman who never married is considered strange rather than the one who did it around eight times - Sandra Bullock

From StatusMind.com

A TWENTY-SOMETHING ASKS ME IF I EVER WANTED CHILDREN....

I know a couple, she much older than he, she who at any other time in the past would be called elderly.  She is vital.  He, also officially a senior, would also be considered vital.  He is still employed.  Luckily, through inheritance, education, and hard work, they became quite comfortable financially. They also had two daughters, when she was in her 40s!  Apparently, this was easy for her.  Both greatly benefit from their largesse.

Somewhere along the line they sort of adopted the daughter of a neighbor. The child's parents were on drugs.  Unable to be parents.  This daughter experienced a mother who was often laying in bed doped up, who somehow provided the apartment but not much more.  So she would go to their house after school and do her homework.  Both of these drug addict parents are gone now.  The mother went first, the father who was never in her life next.  It must be difficult to be 18 and have to find a job that will pay half of all expenses and to do so first, not surprisingly, by moving in with a boyfriend. She works as a waitress, is now a few lovers ahead, living with a motherly housemate.

She is active on social networking sites, looking for another boyfriend.  In so many ways she is more experienced and worldly than I was at 22.  But do these sites overall give the impression that you can have everything you want in another person, or that you should break up with someone who doesn't fit all your criteria?

She found me alone, doing dishes, and in a way that suggested to me that she was worried about me, asked me if I ever considered using social networking to find a man.  And if I ever wanted children.  I said No.  NO!  

DON'T YOU LIKE CHILDREN? the 22 year old asked

I was hoping she didn't find me defective for not having a partner.  But this question DON'T YOU LIKE CHILDREN? made me feel judged negatively.

"Sure I like SOME children. But when you HAVE CHILDREN, you have to be prepared to get whatever you get."

She had not been parented.  Her housemate was trying to teach her to do the things she had never been taught by a mother (or father).  For instance, she orders her food in and doesn't know how to cook.

Did she understand what I meant?

When you have a child you get what you get. That child might be the adorable, intelligent, nice, and beautiful creature of your dreams but what if the child is NOT? Do you have the ability to cope? Do you have the financial resources?

It's my idea that financial issues are the main reason people are having no children or limiting themselves to one or two. Having to work full time also limits how much time can be devoted to parenting.  The rich, two career parents are just as not there for their children as the single mother.  

CHILDREN NEED and DESERVE A WHOLE LOT.

C 2021  Never Married No Kids BlogSpot