NMNK singles are the LAST to receive help when it comes to shelters, housing, and so on. The local "intake" people prefer to help people with children, in particular women who are mothers who have no husbands contributing to household income. When a social services agency gives a housing voucher to such a person, they get the credit for housing several people at at time. Their stats go up. And no one wants children to be on the street, it's dangerous. How can you succeed in school while sleeping in a car or living in a tent. I get it.
That said, a person who is NMNK and becomes homeless has nowhere to turn. Meeting a person who works for an agency that claims to help the homeless get into housing. I learned that the single's expert was basically the SENIORS expert.
Age discrimination in the workplace, an episode of bad health, these are the things that can bring a previously self supporting and productive individual to the street. The street can make a person emotionally or mentally ill. Such persons are encouraged to try to SSI or SSDI so that they can have an income. It sometimes takes years to get these benefits. Meanwhile they are on GR (a couple hundred a month) and their food benefits can run out before the end of the month. Then, if they do intake at a social service agency that gets the housing vouchers, they may be out there for two or more years. The situation doesn't get better for seniors because there are not enough government subsidized housing projects and the ones that exist are full and not even taking applications.
The sympathy is just not there for people who have no family, have not created a family, who are childless by fate or choice. They are not a priority. They may have been law abiding citizens, they may be educated, they may have supported themselves, but basically when it comes right down to it, they are out of luck. And so, SOME NMNK who as responsible individuals did not bring children into this world they could not afford, feel PUNISHED for being that responsible. They begin to resent all those who didn't use contraception even though they could not afford to bring a child or children into this world. Sure, contraception isn't perfect, but let's face it. Some people start having babies as teenagers and keep having babies.
ARE YOU A NMNK person who feels discriminated against in this or any other governmental program?
1/28/20
1/15/20
WHY ARE MEN UNMARRIED ? LACK OF SOCIAL SKILLS IS JUST THE BEGINNING!
PHYS ORG : REASONS MEN ARE SINGLE ACCORDING TO REDDIT 2018
According to this article, the type of men who would have been married in the days when marriages were arranged are not now because they lack social skills. I do think that a lack of social skills can mean being dateless or friendless. Shortness or Baldness where another problem for the men who answered the questionnaire. In my experience shortness and baldness are simply excuses. Another excuse I've heard men claim to be a problem for them is that American women are just too demanding (but the men who claimed this also seemed to always have to have their own way.)
EXCERPT: Up to 35% of people in North American and European societies are single or live on their own.
According to this article, the type of men who would have been married in the days when marriages were arranged are not now because they lack social skills. I do think that a lack of social skills can mean being dateless or friendless. Shortness or Baldness where another problem for the men who answered the questionnaire. In my experience shortness and baldness are simply excuses. Another excuse I've heard men claim to be a problem for them is that American women are just too demanding (but the men who claimed this also seemed to always have to have their own way.)
EXCERPT: Up to 35% of people in North American and European societies are single or live on their own.
1/1/20
S IS FOR SINGLE
Be proud to be SINGLE with no sense of SHAME !
Keep a crummy marriage? Now that's INSANE!
I first posted this in 2009!
12/2/19
SEASONAL DEPRESSION and the NMNK - IT CAN HURT TO GO THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS WITH RELATIVES
Although I spent Thanksgiving in a part of Southern California that was relatively cold and damp, the fact that tourists go to the beach in December here isn't lost on me. Especially not when much of the country is in for a horrible never ending cold and snowy winter. Which means that Seasonal Depression is more likely. For those not in the know, Seasonal Depression is a depression thought to be caused by a lack of sunlight and it might even be tied in with the need for humans and animals to hibernate or at least slow down and stay indoors a while. The longer and darker the winter is, the more likely people are also to indulge themselves in too much alcohol (and perhaps other drugs) in order to self treat for the Seasonal Depression.
Because the Holidays can be especially trying for NMNK's due to the expectation that the holidays, from Halloween to New Years be FAMILY HOLIDAYS, pressure to find a mate and/or have children and "start your own family" can be acute, and hey, maybe you do want those things and are already beating yourself up for not having a date, a marriage ready partner, or some other deficit, as you see it.... MAYBE YOU'RE READING THIS TO SEE WHAT SOMEONE WHO NEVER FELT A DRIVE TO FIND A HUSBAND OR A BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS LIKE. Well, love begins with you loving you. I know that sounds like a corny song, but there's truth to it.
I'm lucky perhaps because while I doubt there's a person alive who has never felt blue or depressed (unless they're a sociopath who cannot feel) seasonal depression isn't something I experience.
But if you do, get out in the air and sunlight (or daylight) every day for at least 20 minutes, get some physical activity in every day, even if it's indoors, and before you go to sleep, count your lucky stars. I always hear about people kept awake by active minds, cell phones, worries, or sleepless due to too much electric light, all to consider. Try to be moderate in your habits and not overindulge in self medicating. Mostly, pull yourself out and away from people who don't respect your life choices.
C 2019 NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS BLOGSPOT
Because the Holidays can be especially trying for NMNK's due to the expectation that the holidays, from Halloween to New Years be FAMILY HOLIDAYS, pressure to find a mate and/or have children and "start your own family" can be acute, and hey, maybe you do want those things and are already beating yourself up for not having a date, a marriage ready partner, or some other deficit, as you see it.... MAYBE YOU'RE READING THIS TO SEE WHAT SOMEONE WHO NEVER FELT A DRIVE TO FIND A HUSBAND OR A BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS LIKE. Well, love begins with you loving you. I know that sounds like a corny song, but there's truth to it.
I'm lucky perhaps because while I doubt there's a person alive who has never felt blue or depressed (unless they're a sociopath who cannot feel) seasonal depression isn't something I experience.
But if you do, get out in the air and sunlight (or daylight) every day for at least 20 minutes, get some physical activity in every day, even if it's indoors, and before you go to sleep, count your lucky stars. I always hear about people kept awake by active minds, cell phones, worries, or sleepless due to too much electric light, all to consider. Try to be moderate in your habits and not overindulge in self medicating. Mostly, pull yourself out and away from people who don't respect your life choices.
C 2019 NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS BLOGSPOT
11/7/19
EMMA WATSON IS "SELF-PARTNERED"
WASHINGTON POST : EMMA WATSON - NEW DEFINITION OF SINGLE by Lisa Bonos
EXCERPT: Whether "self-partnered" speaks to you or not, it harks to the larger trnd of SOLOGAMY, or marrying oneself. Japanese travel agencies offer "solo wedding' Packages.... A New York woman "married" her community...
9/28/19
UNHAPPILY INFERTILE and an NMNK?
Early in my blogging here at NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS BLOGSPOT, I said that being NMNK is sometimes NOT A CHOICE, but just how a person's FATE is.
I know some people who are NMNK really did not and do not WANT to be. I can only assure them that a person can so have a good life without marriage or children.
I understand that sometimes people experience a seachange and want what they did not before. This can include marriage or having children. Because so many people are having multiple committed relationships today, including marriage-like living-together without the papers experiences, who is NMNK gets more difficult to define. My own person feeling, which came upon me young, that I did not WANT to have children, that I did not WANT to be married in a conventional way - be a stay at home mom - does dominate this blog. For a long time I was open to the idea that I might experience a relationship and a new desire for children but it hasn't happened and I no longer give it that chance that it will.
My experience with infertility is NOT PERSONAL but vicarious, based on knowing people who have had that seachange, wanting children after years of marriage, or as a person gets into her thirties without any husband. These women have sometimes waited until they are at an age when fertility is naturally in decline. Then it seems they get desperate fast.
I still think it's ridiculous to become a single mother on purpose and without significant familial or friendly commitment to help raise a child or children and without a high income or huge savings. I feel it's a prerequisite to afford a child or children alone. I'm being realistic. You'll have to pay for childcare for years as you work. You'll have to afford so much alone.
Even friends who were married and then divorced with children and high incomes I feel suffer in the single mom lifestyle. They are always running, always stressed, always to some degree anxious and insecure. They are eager to put my choices down by saying that I could not possibly understand since I don't have children, or even it's because I have never given birth. I think I can see what's happening clearly.
Their children for the most part have taken full advantage of their parent's guilt over not giving them a two parent family and the parents and other caregivers compensate with spoiling materially and giving into them. These children rule the house and I can only hope that there's a natural maturing process in place. I dread a younger generation of demanding brats: Narcissist Personality Disorders on the rise.
If you are a person who has wanted children and cannot have any due to infertility and expensive medical options are not yours, there are still many ways to be NURTURING. I suggest volunteering working with children or being involved in a mentoring program such as Big Sisters Big Brothers programs.
Here is a link: Big Sisters Big Brothers
C 2019 Never Married No Kids BlogSpot
All Rights Reserved
I know some people who are NMNK really did not and do not WANT to be. I can only assure them that a person can so have a good life without marriage or children.
I understand that sometimes people experience a seachange and want what they did not before. This can include marriage or having children. Because so many people are having multiple committed relationships today, including marriage-like living-together without the papers experiences, who is NMNK gets more difficult to define. My own person feeling, which came upon me young, that I did not WANT to have children, that I did not WANT to be married in a conventional way - be a stay at home mom - does dominate this blog. For a long time I was open to the idea that I might experience a relationship and a new desire for children but it hasn't happened and I no longer give it that chance that it will.
My experience with infertility is NOT PERSONAL but vicarious, based on knowing people who have had that seachange, wanting children after years of marriage, or as a person gets into her thirties without any husband. These women have sometimes waited until they are at an age when fertility is naturally in decline. Then it seems they get desperate fast.
I still think it's ridiculous to become a single mother on purpose and without significant familial or friendly commitment to help raise a child or children and without a high income or huge savings. I feel it's a prerequisite to afford a child or children alone. I'm being realistic. You'll have to pay for childcare for years as you work. You'll have to afford so much alone.
Even friends who were married and then divorced with children and high incomes I feel suffer in the single mom lifestyle. They are always running, always stressed, always to some degree anxious and insecure. They are eager to put my choices down by saying that I could not possibly understand since I don't have children, or even it's because I have never given birth. I think I can see what's happening clearly.
Their children for the most part have taken full advantage of their parent's guilt over not giving them a two parent family and the parents and other caregivers compensate with spoiling materially and giving into them. These children rule the house and I can only hope that there's a natural maturing process in place. I dread a younger generation of demanding brats: Narcissist Personality Disorders on the rise.
If you are a person who has wanted children and cannot have any due to infertility and expensive medical options are not yours, there are still many ways to be NURTURING. I suggest volunteering working with children or being involved in a mentoring program such as Big Sisters Big Brothers programs.
Here is a link: Big Sisters Big Brothers
C 2019 Never Married No Kids BlogSpot
All Rights Reserved
9/11/19
KEY TO VERY LONG LIFE? DON'T GET MARRIED! LOUISE JEAN SIGNORE TURNS 107!
Here's a NMNK I just heard about! She looks to be a sweety!
DAILY MAIL, LOUISE JEAN SIGNORE SUGGESTS ITALIAN FOOD and NEVER GETTING MARRIED
At 103 she was mugged and her bingo cards were taken from her. Born in 1912, she's lived through many Presidential administrations.
DAILY MAIL, LOUISE JEAN SIGNORE SUGGESTS ITALIAN FOOD and NEVER GETTING MARRIED
At 103 she was mugged and her bingo cards were taken from her. Born in 1912, she's lived through many Presidential administrations.
8/27/19
THESE BRATS MADE ME POP MY CORK!
Many people think that if you do not personally want or have children then you hate children. All children. Who hates children? Really, there are some people out there who do HATE CHILDREN, and many of them HAVE children; they can be abusers.
Well, I don't hate children. I actually think children deserve a lot, such as being loved, protected, nurtured, SOCIALIZED, and raised to fulfill their potential - ideally. I realize contraception is not perfect and abortion is controversial at best but it really is best to plan to have children when you can afford them and have the personal resources to do so. I don't believe you should ditch your children with their grandparents so you can party or grow up. Most likely, adoption is a better option for the child of unwed parents, or deserted single women. Life is not perfect and I know people can do a whole lot right and still find themselves in the pickle, but hooking up with someone who is irresponsible about using contraception or supporting the children they fathered is not someone I even want to be friends with. Raising children takes a lot of energy, effort, and money, but I've met children raised in poverty who have more going for them than some raised in wealth, because at least one parent if not two SOCIALIZED them.
Recently I popped my cork after an encounter with a couple of undisciplined BRATS. I went off to a volunteer gig I do and where over a year I've slowly learned how to handle an aspect of fund-raising and public reputation, of marketing and outreach. I bring to this some past paid employment experience and some academic education. Through this process of learning how, I experimented and I innovated. I also shared the work with other people who were at it before I showed my face and when someone else needs help there and I roll up my sleeves I ask them what they want me to do and how to do it. It's a matter of basic respect to let someone experienced teach you how they've been doing something, even if when they leave the gig you decide to do things differently. I'm not trying to turn what I do into rocket science or brain surgery here, but I want to explain all this before I tell you what happened.
I showed up early because I know we've been short on volunteers, and began to set up. I'm used to other people dropping things off for me to do when they see me and I direct them where to put things as I have my process and this helps me stay organized. These people are all adults.
Suddenly two girls, one about 6 and the other about 9 or 10 were dropped off to me by their grandparents - who were volunteering that day. No one asked me if this would be OK. So obviously what was being thought is that I would like to add babysitting onto my agenda that day. (It is not customary for volunteers to bring children with them.)
The idea was that we would play at how we do things and so at first I cooperated showing them this and that on the desk. Though I was being bombarded as usual, these two cuties were thrown into the mix. They were interruptive when I spoke to other people. They were rude. They were demanding. They moved things on me. One of them actually asked me to get out of her way physically!
They were a couple princesses who are being raised to be CEO's. The world revolves around them and their needs. Apparently they will never have to respect adults, supervisors, or bosses. They will never have to work for money at low level jobs while in high school or college. They will just get in there and do things their way.
A half hour of cuteness was about all it took for me to realize that they were overindulged spoiled BRATS. I got further and further behind on what I needed to accomplish. At 11:30 another volunteer walked in and noticed how far behind I was and I popped. When the two sisters started being abusive to each other, I told one to go ask someone else for something to do to make her go away and give the little sister a moment to accomplish something. Finally I just told them "Thank You but I have nothing else for you two to do so ask someone else."
No doubt their parents and their grandparents ask them what THEY WANT TO DO and DO IT THEIR WAY ALL THE TIME. I do think that parents like these tend to have one precious child or maybe two. The children don't learn to share, unless they are put into a preschool where the TEACHER makes them.
Now imagine if you are a parent who is raising your child or children - SOCIALIZING THEM - to be polite and respectful of others, to share.
WOULD YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO BE FRIENDS WITH THESE BRATS? Always find themselves playing their way? If not being bullied, being bossed?
Do you as an adult want to work with someone who is so entitled? Do we actually think that these girls WILL GROW OUT OF IT? They will not. When life throws them hardships - and most of us endure them - what will their response be? They are not developing patience. They are not learning to get along with others. Raising children to be BRATS is actually irresponsible parenting. As I age I dread that we may have generations of these children in charge. Can you imagine whole workplaces of people who all think they are the boss?
It is NOT CHILD ABUSE to SOCIALIZE YOUR CHILDREN.
Sister
C 2019 Never Married No Kids BlogSpot\
All Rights Reserved
Well, I don't hate children. I actually think children deserve a lot, such as being loved, protected, nurtured, SOCIALIZED, and raised to fulfill their potential - ideally. I realize contraception is not perfect and abortion is controversial at best but it really is best to plan to have children when you can afford them and have the personal resources to do so. I don't believe you should ditch your children with their grandparents so you can party or grow up. Most likely, adoption is a better option for the child of unwed parents, or deserted single women. Life is not perfect and I know people can do a whole lot right and still find themselves in the pickle, but hooking up with someone who is irresponsible about using contraception or supporting the children they fathered is not someone I even want to be friends with. Raising children takes a lot of energy, effort, and money, but I've met children raised in poverty who have more going for them than some raised in wealth, because at least one parent if not two SOCIALIZED them.
Recently I popped my cork after an encounter with a couple of undisciplined BRATS. I went off to a volunteer gig I do and where over a year I've slowly learned how to handle an aspect of fund-raising and public reputation, of marketing and outreach. I bring to this some past paid employment experience and some academic education. Through this process of learning how, I experimented and I innovated. I also shared the work with other people who were at it before I showed my face and when someone else needs help there and I roll up my sleeves I ask them what they want me to do and how to do it. It's a matter of basic respect to let someone experienced teach you how they've been doing something, even if when they leave the gig you decide to do things differently. I'm not trying to turn what I do into rocket science or brain surgery here, but I want to explain all this before I tell you what happened.
I showed up early because I know we've been short on volunteers, and began to set up. I'm used to other people dropping things off for me to do when they see me and I direct them where to put things as I have my process and this helps me stay organized. These people are all adults.
Suddenly two girls, one about 6 and the other about 9 or 10 were dropped off to me by their grandparents - who were volunteering that day. No one asked me if this would be OK. So obviously what was being thought is that I would like to add babysitting onto my agenda that day. (It is not customary for volunteers to bring children with them.)
The idea was that we would play at how we do things and so at first I cooperated showing them this and that on the desk. Though I was being bombarded as usual, these two cuties were thrown into the mix. They were interruptive when I spoke to other people. They were rude. They were demanding. They moved things on me. One of them actually asked me to get out of her way physically!
They were a couple princesses who are being raised to be CEO's. The world revolves around them and their needs. Apparently they will never have to respect adults, supervisors, or bosses. They will never have to work for money at low level jobs while in high school or college. They will just get in there and do things their way.
A half hour of cuteness was about all it took for me to realize that they were overindulged spoiled BRATS. I got further and further behind on what I needed to accomplish. At 11:30 another volunteer walked in and noticed how far behind I was and I popped. When the two sisters started being abusive to each other, I told one to go ask someone else for something to do to make her go away and give the little sister a moment to accomplish something. Finally I just told them "Thank You but I have nothing else for you two to do so ask someone else."
No doubt their parents and their grandparents ask them what THEY WANT TO DO and DO IT THEIR WAY ALL THE TIME. I do think that parents like these tend to have one precious child or maybe two. The children don't learn to share, unless they are put into a preschool where the TEACHER makes them.
Now imagine if you are a parent who is raising your child or children - SOCIALIZING THEM - to be polite and respectful of others, to share.
WOULD YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO BE FRIENDS WITH THESE BRATS? Always find themselves playing their way? If not being bullied, being bossed?
Do you as an adult want to work with someone who is so entitled? Do we actually think that these girls WILL GROW OUT OF IT? They will not. When life throws them hardships - and most of us endure them - what will their response be? They are not developing patience. They are not learning to get along with others. Raising children to be BRATS is actually irresponsible parenting. As I age I dread that we may have generations of these children in charge. Can you imagine whole workplaces of people who all think they are the boss?
It is NOT CHILD ABUSE to SOCIALIZE YOUR CHILDREN.
Sister
C 2019 Never Married No Kids BlogSpot\
All Rights Reserved
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