Many people think that if you do not personally want or have children then you hate children. All children. Who hates children? Really, there are some people out there who do HATE CHILDREN, and many of them HAVE children; they can be abusers.
Well, I don't hate children. I actually think children deserve a lot, such as being loved, protected, nurtured, SOCIALIZED, and raised to fulfill their potential - ideally. I realize contraception is not perfect and abortion is controversial at best but it really is best to plan to have children when you can afford them and have the personal resources to do so. I don't believe you should ditch your children with their grandparents so you can party or grow up. Most likely, adoption is a better option for the child of unwed parents, or deserted single women. Life is not perfect and I know people can do a whole lot right and still find themselves in the pickle, but hooking up with someone who is irresponsible about using contraception or supporting the children they fathered is not someone I even want to be friends with. Raising children takes a lot of energy, effort, and money, but I've met children raised in poverty who have more going for them than some raised in wealth, because at least one parent if not two SOCIALIZED them.
Recently I popped my cork after an encounter with a couple of undisciplined BRATS. I went off to a volunteer gig I do and where over a year I've slowly learned how to handle an aspect of fund-raising and public reputation, of marketing and outreach. I bring to this some past paid employment experience and some academic education. Through this process of learning how, I experimented and I innovated. I also shared the work with other people who were at it before I showed my face and when someone else needs help there and I roll up my sleeves I ask them what they want me to do and how to do it. It's a matter of basic respect to let someone experienced teach you how they've been doing something, even if when they leave the gig you decide to do things differently. I'm not trying to turn what I do into rocket science or brain surgery here, but I want to explain all this before I tell you what happened.
I showed up early because I know we've been short on volunteers, and began to set up. I'm used to other people dropping things off for me to do when they see me and I direct them where to put things as I have my process and this helps me stay organized. These people are all adults.
Suddenly two girls, one about 6 and the other about 9 or 10 were dropped off to me by their grandparents - who were volunteering that day. No one asked me if this would be OK. So obviously what was being thought is that I would like to add babysitting onto my agenda that day. (It is not customary for volunteers to bring children with them.)
The idea was that we would play at how we do things and so at first I cooperated showing them this and that on the desk. Though I was being bombarded as usual, these two cuties were thrown into the mix. They were interruptive when I spoke to other people. They were rude. They were demanding. They moved things on me. One of them actually asked me to get out of her way physically!
They were a couple princesses who are being raised to be CEO's. The world revolves around them and their needs. Apparently they will never have to respect adults, supervisors, or bosses. They will never have to work for money at low level jobs while in high school or college. They will just get in there and do things their way.
A half hour of cuteness was about all it took for me to realize that they were overindulged spoiled BRATS. I got further and further behind on what I needed to accomplish. At 11:30 another volunteer walked in and noticed how far behind I was and I popped. When the two sisters started being abusive to each other, I told one to go ask someone else for something to do to make her go away and give the little sister a moment to accomplish something. Finally I just told them "Thank You but I have nothing else for you two to do so ask someone else."
No doubt their parents and their grandparents ask them what THEY WANT TO DO and DO IT THEIR WAY ALL THE TIME. I do think that parents like these tend to have one precious child or maybe two. The children don't learn to share, unless they are put into a preschool where the TEACHER makes them.
Now imagine if you are a parent who is raising your child or children - SOCIALIZING THEM - to be polite and respectful of others, to share.
WOULD YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO BE FRIENDS WITH THESE BRATS? Always find themselves playing their way? If not being bullied, being bossed?
Do you as an adult want to work with someone who is so entitled? Do we actually think that these girls WILL GROW OUT OF IT? They will not. When life throws them hardships - and most of us endure them - what will their response be? They are not developing patience. They are not learning to get along with others. Raising children to be BRATS is actually irresponsible parenting. As I age I dread that we may have generations of these children in charge. Can you imagine whole workplaces of people who all think they are the boss?
It is NOT CHILD ABUSE to SOCIALIZE YOUR CHILDREN.
Sister
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