1/10/17

FAKE NEWS STORIES - NEWS ROT - THE NEGATIVE EFFECT ON YOUR PYSCHE

About six weeks ago, I finally started e- reading, mostly books.  It was time.  I had noticed that I was reading Daily Mail UK too much, though the publication does have some excellent coverage of "hard news," such as the Presidential election, it's very driven by the 'soft news" of celebrity, especially women so desperate for attention that they are exhibitionists, and coverage of inhuman acts and terrorism.  I started feeling that nothing was right with this world, and that's simply not true.  I had also grown unhappy with my news AP, which I upgraded and still don't much like.   There's nothing like a news AP to reveal how repetitive the news gets and how few real journalists there are, fact checking, making sure that an issue has coverage from more than one point of view and isn't just a PR piece being placed in as fact.  Then there is the spectacle of FAKE NEWS STORIES, which do come up on news APS and which I had to work my way through, when wanting to know the real story, about the hacking scandals, the election, and much else.  FAKE NEWS STORIES waste our time.  Reading e-books of my choice has drastically cut down on the amount of time I'm reading information that I can't rely on and that I don't want to color my outlook negatively.


It occurred to me that those who do not have the constant and chronic overwrought of child bearing and raising, though rarely living lives of leisure, might actually expose themselves more, and that all this might be having a profoundly negative effect on us.


Consider that the Daily Mail UK seems to always have the expose on abusive parents, especially those who torture and kill their children.  It's not that I don't want to know these things happen, it's that it seems that people without ethics and morals of any sort, sociopaths, psychopaths, people a whole lot like Charlie Manson and his ilk, are everywhere.  It's as if evil is taking over the world.


Not having children myself does not mean that I hate children or that I'm not a child advocate!  In fact, understanding what a child needs to prosper, even feeling at times that no person should be allowed to raise a child who hasn't completed special classes to learn how to, is one of the many reasons I chose not to have children.  I know that I do not have the resources.


Over the holidays I was thinking about all the children in the world who are born to die, the children who labor to support themselves and their families and never go to school, the girls who are sex trafficked or raped or sold into slavery or married off before they can safely have sex, be pregnant, and deliver a baby.  Because these are often people "of color" and in the so called "Third World"  one has to be sensitive to cultural differences and expectations, but IF EVERY CHILD IN THIS WORLD WERE WANTED, and FURTHER, COULD BE AFFORDED BY IT'S PARENT(S), THERE WOULD BE NO OVERPOPULATION!


This year I don't know how often I will have to face off with, or walk away from, or ignore, people who want to find fault with me, people who want to think of me as defective in some way, for not having children.  This discrimination against me and my type seems to be never ending.  WHEN OTHER WOMEN are finding fault with me, I really have to wonder what their version of feminism is, if any.  Nothing is worse than a woman who defines herself by motherhood and then raises brats!


To me, any publication that propagates the notion or belief that being NEVER MARRIED - NO KIDS is not a valid and proper choice for some of us, is basically a FAKE NEWS outlet.


Sister


C 2017  Never Married No Kids BlogSpot Com



11/7/16

JENNIFER ANISTON - BRAD PITT - and ANGELINA JOLIE and ALL THOSE CHILDREN

Though JENNIFER ANISTON, the actress, does not qualify as NMNK since she has been married twice, she has gone through hell as a woman who has never had children, and for that I can relate.  Though the years her childlessness has been used against her, not only in attacks on her character (when she has conducted herself as a lady throughout!), but as the reason hunky BRAD PITT left her for the snarky ANGELINA JOLIE, or as the excuse for cheating on her.  (Jolie had done her first adoption before the two met.)  IT HAS BEEN ASSUMED THAT PITT's DESIRE FOR CHILDREN and ANISTON's RELUCTANCE (blamed on selfishly wanting her career as an actress more) or INABILITY, made her defective.  TABLOIDS have had a go on all of them for years, and now all those children are being dragged through a divorce and the question of who has custody, who gets to visit, how often, and when.


ANISTON seems to have left town for New York to be out of the way as much as possible through this latest divorce with children debacle, and I'm feeling sorry for BRAD, who probably has gotten angry with a spoiled brat child and lost his temper at least once.


(FRIENDS OF MINE WHOSE PARENTS WERE VERBALLY ABUSIVE TELL ME THAT WHEN THEY HAD CHILDREN THEY FORGAVE THEIR PARENTS AND UNDERSTOOD WHAT IT IS TO HAVE A CHILD YOU WORK  YOUR TAIL OFF TO SUPPORT BEING A SASSY ASS OF A KID!)


With the vast wealth of both JOLIE and PITT,  there is really no reason why their children need to be seen out in public, looking depressed, as all this goes on.  And if the couple were not world famous, it is unlikely the FBI, which has better things to do, like work against terrorist cells in the United States, would spend five minutes interrogating the apparently blind sided Pitt, who no doubt is probably SICK over the prospect of being separated at all from his brood.


I FULLY EXPECT, in the future, that all six children will write TELL ALL BOOKS ABOUT THEIR PARENTS, and how hard it was to grow up as they have.


It's not fair, what do I know?  I think the children should live with BRAD!


JOLIE IS WRONG that children do not need structure or discipline.  Discipline is possible without ABUSE.  I know this because I know of people who have well behaved and respectful children who have never been verbally or physically or otherwise abused.  AND IF I HAD CHILDREN, those are the CHILDREN mine would be allowed to play with!


Let me focus though on JENNIFER ANISTON.  Here is a beautiful and accomplished woman who has worked hard to have and keep a career, and she has had so much projected on her.  The day the news of the pending divorce came out, speculation became gossip became "truth" as she supposedly said, to an unnamed "friend," that Brad was getting his KARMA.  I suspect she has long ago moved on and into her new marriage and doesn't much have Brad on her mind at all.  Additionally, the poor woman cannot gain a pound and the pregnancy speculation begins...


IT WILL BE OK IF JENNIFER ANISTON DOES NOT HAVE CHILDREN, NOT ONE, NOT EVER!


ABC NEWS ENTERTAINMENT ANISTON AND KIDS


Sister

10/19/16

BUYING YOURSELF A RING OF PROMISE THAT YOU LOVE AND COMMIT TO YOURSELF

DAILY MAIL JEWELRY LINE FOR WOMEN BUYING LOVE AND COMMITMENT RINGS FOR THEMSELVES

EXCERPT:
Created by LA-based founders, Samira Far and Melody Godfred, and reminiscent of the famous 'Raise your Right Hand' De Beers jewellery campaign, the positivity-charged gems are made to inspire you to put yourself first.

'When you wear a Fred + Far Self Love Pinky Ring, you pinky promise to choose yourself, honour yourself, and remember yourself on a daily basis,' a message on their website reads.

Fashioned from 14 karat yellow, white or rose gold, the rings not only look and sound good, but come with good intentions, too.
They use lab-created white sapphires to ensure that the rings remain conflict-free, which means that the stones are not made in impoverished working environments.

10/3/16

U.S. LOWEST FERTILITY RATES IN 2015 - 3 to 4 MILLION BABY DEFICIT = BABY BUST

DAILY MAIL - 3 to 4 MILLION BABY DEFICIT  Is the Great Recession in the United States to blame?

EXCERPT: Only 3,978,000 births were recorded in 2015, about 600,000 less than if women between the 'childbearing ages of 20 to 39' maintained the same fertility rates recorded in 2007, according to a study conducted by the University of New Hampshire.


***
Sister here:  The article has a video that's about SMOKING effecting fertility rates.  However, I think this is more about women using contraception because they know they are not ready, willing, and able to have a child.

9/29/16

PARENTS WHO REGRET BECOMING PARENTS

DAILY MAIL FEMALE - PARENTS REVEAL WHY THEY WISH THEIR CHILDREN HAD NEVER BEEN BORN   by Unity Blott For Mailonline


EXCERPT:

Mothers have been taking to social media to reveal what it really feels like to regret having children.

Posting anonymously on sites like Facebook, Reddit and Quora, the disgruntled women have made startling confessions describing parenthood as 'drudgery and monotony'.

Citing reasons from sleep deprivation to financial security - and 'not liking kids' - some go as far as confessing they wish their offspring had never been born.

...  Link to read more confessionals... shot nerves, loss of friends, drudgery...

9/26/16

THE JOLIE-PITT DIVORCE and BAD PARENTING

MAY 2021 THE DIVORCE IS STILL NOT OVER.  I think Angelina is dragging it out to keep Brad in her life!



The Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie divorce is hot in the news, and I've been reading around it.  It seems there is a major difference in these two when it comes to their own childhoods and parenting styles.  Brad grew up with discipline.  Angelina, according to certain articles I read, was even allowed AT THE AGE OF 14 to have sex in their own home by her mother; the star says she was going to have her way and her mother preferred she have it at home than some other place.  Other articles say that the six children these two will be effecting by their divorce, three  who were adopted, and three born of the couple, each have a nanny, have been tutored and traveled the world but never spent a day in school, and are, well, BRATS. 

Frankly, I've been sick of Jolie for a long time for a lot of reasons but I'll stick with her desire to be seen as the world's best mother, her motivation for having the innards of her breasts removed and later the removal of her ovaries, because she's convinced she will die young like her own mother.  Unlike one British publicist who has written that Jolie should have settled down and been a wife to Brad rather than a globe-trotting activist and careerist (who supposedly wants to live in England, give up her citizenship, and follow in the footsteps of Lady Diana), because she stole Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston, I have nothing in particular against a woman having high career aspirations.  But I do have it against people who have children, DO NOT SOCIALIZE THEM, have them and do not want to PERSONALLY TAKE CARE OF THEM, and who basically use their children to THEIR OWN EGO ADVANTAGE.

Granted the Jolie-Pitts are very wealthy, and they can afford to do world travel, have nannies, and tutors.  However, it is up to the parents to oversee that their staff brings up all the children consistently and socialized, which means in sync with the way people treat other people in this world.

I do not think all children are brats.  And, as I've said in this BlogSpot before, not personally wanting or having children doesn't mean I cannot have an opinion on what it takes to have children, what they deserve, and how they should be raised.

I've encountered more than one lousy, spoiled, brat in my life - other people's children.  These brats didn't have the effect of making me not want children.  They had the effect of my stepping aside the parents.

To discipline a child does not require abusing them physically or otherwise. 

For instance, one of my professors in college had one of those bothersome mandatory potlucks at the end of the semester.  This woman was not a single mother, though her husband was nowhere in sight at the potluck.  Her children were running all over the place, and one of them struck me with a long plastic dagger, which could have blinded me.  I said, "You're kid just struck me with that."  The professor said, "She always does that."  Was I to say, "Could you mind your bratty child and discipline them that they should not use their toys to possibly injure someone?"  She was giving me grades. 

In a work situation, a twelve-year-old son of the business owner, studying for his Bar Mitzvah yet, came in and with his hands on his hips, told me how I work for HIM and bla bla bla.  They just stood there and let him talk to me this way.  I hear the kid has grown up to be a doctor.  I wonder how bad a parent he is.

One of my friends with a high powered and exhausting career, married and had two children, but her husband cheated on her and they divorced.  His willingness to parent was not remarkable, he was mostly the absent father who stood up the kids when he was supposed to be seeing them.  However, the kids took full advantage of the situation and their nanny didn't dare discipline them, and when I came to visit or called, they were selfish and demanding, screaming and yelling, and at best negotiating for material rewards for activities such as doing their homework.  They defied her every wish that they not have friends in the house when she wasn't home.  Last I heard from her, she realized that "professional help" was needed; therapists.

So Angelina Jolie was and is a SPOILED BRAT herself, and her idea of parenting is that an adult cannot tell a child what to do, can never get angry, can never tell them off.  And she wants to use Brad's anger that he felt with their oldest son, a young teenager, against him in the divorce.
I hope by some miracle that the six children of this union turn out to be adults who can get along with others from all walks of life and know how to share, rather than egotistical, demanding materialistic and greedy.  If they are truly as has been reported, it will take a miracle.

Contrast this with the reports of the children of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, who have been seen using an active listening technique to discipline and teach their royal children to behave.


C 2016  Never Married No Kids BlogSpot

9/3/16

MILLENNIAL NEIGHBORS JUST MAKING IT IN A NOW EXPENSIVE NEIGHBORHOOD BY NOT MAKING IT ON THEIR OWN

MILLENNIALS are people born between the late 1980s and the beginning of the 21st century, give or take a couple years.   Out walking my dog, I've made the acquaintance of several on my street.   They are all living in much more modern and expensive buildings than I live in, or renting houses with more than one person contributing to the rent. 

Maybe it's just the MILLENNIALS on my street, the one's I'm meeting, but they don't seem to be very independent for their ages.  None of them aspires to living in their own place, but is depending on a working girlfriend, parents, a trust fund, or some other supplemental income to make it as is, even as they drive for Lyft, Uber, take in people through AirBNB, post YouTube Videos,  EBay, Etsy, or find some other cell phone - Internet - computer way to have some money coming in.

I'm not saying that I have nothing to learn from them.  I can see that these are opportunities they seize rather than deal with being evicted or ruining their credit when they have no regular full time job to depend on. 

But just so you know, there are also OLDER people on the street who have addressed their money and work issues with DRIVING in particular, and the way they do it is that they take Lyft or Uber as their full time job, keep themselves to a regular schedule, such heading for their car every morning at the same time, and not coming home until 5 or 6 PM, when they have their dinner with their partner or spouse and then go walk the dog.  These OLDER people are also using their driving experience to get full time work driving for one of the van services for the disabled, the MTA or smaller Community Shuttles. 

Maybe they have given up on their dreams.  I don't know. 

I see part economic crisis and increasing unaffordability of the city, mixed with an unwillingness to let go of their basic need to be creative, or an unwillingness to redefine themselves in some boring, go nowhere job (of which I've had myself) that will kill their spirit, as the Millennial's dilemma..

To me the crisis point comes when someone gets pregnant and the possibility of having to financially and otherwise support offspring hits home.  Luckily there is contraception and legal abortion.  One couple on the street, married for seven years, both employed full time with the same companies, had their first child despite knowing that they may never afford an actual house.  Another couple, living together for a couple years, and also employed full time with the same companies, got married last year, but have their parents providing a down payment while a real estate agent friend combs the neighborhood for a small house they can get into, which they see as the first step before they have a child.

These people aren't aged out of having children yet, but they are approaching it.

The other day one neighbor who has been doing ALL of the things above to pay his share of the rent on a house, while his girlfriend with a Master's Degree is out hustling, making cold calls as a sales person, and I were talking.  He had just gotten his Real Estate license and had put a couple thousand dollars he BORROWED from her to pay for nice business cards and postcards which he is leaving everywhere he goes.  He had some early success in a creative field but it's been bumpy, he's trying to learn the business and doing office time, makes no money, and then drives in the evenings.  The other day this all went on hold when he got a call from one of the big film production companies to do some free lance work.  You could never say this man is lazy, but the fact is that if his girlfriend wasn't making a reported $100,000 a year, then he would likely be living in a single apartment alone.

He told me he wants children.  She however decided she does not because she fears the pain of childbirth.  (When I said, "There is always adoption.  There are also lots of foster kids who need a good home,"  the conversation stalled. )

A recent article in Daily Mail UK covered the great numbers of women who are avoiding pregnancy and childbirth for this very reason, even electing to have unnecessary cesareans. 

I think, but do not say to him, that I think he should break up with her if he really wants children.  He loves her for sure, and she probably loves him too, and rather than either of them break up or do something about meeting someone more compatible, they do not.  They get along, there are no bad fights or abuse happening in their relationship, and they do have more time to decide.  Certainly many people have chosen good partnerships without children over bad ones with.  Makes sense to me.

About once a year, usually around her birthday when this couple go out with her well to do family, she announces to him that she doesn't think their relationship is going to work out.  He becomes depressed and threatens to leave town and go back to his parents.  They have a dog as a child, and he is the full time caregiver of the dog while his girlfriend actually owns it. 

Recently the dog was injured and a vet gave the price to do surgery on it as $10,000!  Poorer people would have faced the fact that their beloved pet needed to be put to sleep and suffer for it.  Instead he started looking for inexpensive or free surgery for the dog.  It was about that time that he revealed that she was earning $100,000.

Well, if it were MY DOG and I were earning "bank,"  I might get a second and third opinion, or some price quotes, but I wouldn't let my boyfriend search out cheaper or free alternatives or let the dog suffer.

I don't say it but I think, "She clearly wants a man who is making a lot more money than you are.  That is the bigger issue in your relationship."  Who ever heard of a true partner only LOANING money to the other, especially when it comes to using that money for something like classes, rent while doing an Internship that might lead to paid work, business cards and marketing/promo postcards.  Our culture and tax system is set up to favor the married.  If they were doing joint tax returns a lot of this could be taken as tax deductions and business loses.  When one person is making so much more money than the other, and finds fault with their ability to make money, then I think it would be more than "nice," to help them in these practical ways.

I think these two have never been NMNK in their mind set. 

Instead of being an educated, hard working, BUSINESSWOMAN who prefers really to be out in the word and someone else to care for her dog child, she has the prop of a boyfriend and the marriage substitute called "living together."  She doesn't want children, be it painful childbirth or any other reason, and that's OK, especially because there is contraception and abortion, but she does not want to SUPPORT HIM. 

If it were a traditional marriage-like relationship in what we used to call "role reversal," where the wife goes out and makes the living and supports the family and the husband is the person who stays at home and takes care of all the domestic duties, she would not MIND SUPPORTING HIM.

He prefers to be a STAY AT HOME HUSBAND and FATHER, and a CREATIVE, that's clear.  He's not money motivated or a corporate person like she is. I think the Real Estate gig is him trying to prove to her that someday he too will make big bucks and then maybe when they are financial equals they will marry.

I like this man, very much.  He is a sensitive, kind, and caring person, and his parents did tell him over a decade ago, "We've done our parenting, now you're on your own."  Every time I talk to him though, I think he's going to tell me that they have realized that they don't belong together, and that he's moving out and on. 

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8/9/16

MORE SINGLES THAN MARRIEDS IN ENGLAND and WALES - DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR BRIDGET JONES

DAILY MAIL - REAL BRIDGET JONES WOULD BE RESILIENT AND MORE POSITIVE THAN SMUG MARRIED PALS   by  Rosie Taylor

EXCERPT:
For singletons have richer social lives, are more resilient and more positive than married couples, psychologists have found.
They said unattached people were more likely to value meaningful work and were more connected to their families, friends, neighbors and colleagues – unlike ‘insular’ married couples. ... According to the Office for National Statistics, there are now more singletons than married people in England and Wales.

6/9/16

SOPHIE TANNER STAGES HERSELF A TRADITIONAL WEDDING - TO HERSELF!

DAILY MAIL - FEMALE - SOPHIE MARRIES HERSELF  By Lucy Waterlow

WOW!  go to the article to see a picture of Sophie and her dad walking her down the isle to herself!

EXCERPT:


A single 37-year-old woman decided not to wait to meet Mr Right in order to have her dream wedding - and has instead married herself.  

Sophie Tanner, from Brighton, became a bride and tied the knot with herself at a ceremony in her home town where she was given away by her father and had ten of her friends as bridesmaids.

The bride-without-a-groom admits her plan was a little 'bonkers' but she kept up many wedding traditions on her big day by throwing the bouquet, cutting a cake and having a first dance.