LOVE YOUR FRIENDS AS THEY ARE

VALENTINES DAY can put a lot of pressure on devoted Never Married No Kids types. That's because this is the big American celebration of couplehood. But you CAN send Valentines to your very unmarried friends and let them know you LOVE THEM AS THEY ARE!

WARNING! VALENTINES DAY IS AHEAD

Valentine's Day is ahead and already NMNK are feeling the societal pressure to be included in the mushy love fest that this day has become.  Not dating?  Not interested in dating?  Have no one "special."  Haven't "made love" in ages - especially because you only attract people who see sex a different way? Well, consider that there are many ways to love and that includes PLATONIC.

Valentine's Day does not have to be about long stemmed red roses, candlelight dinners, or presenting yourself for sex wearing silk undies or something wicked and stupid from a lingerie store.

Spend it with friends.  Or don't go out at all.

Send only the people you really care about Valemtines or chocolate. Such as your siblings or you dad.

Women feel more pressure than men to do SOMETHING for this day.

Men who are heterosexual feel weird to remember their men friends for Valentines.

So the pressure is on Men to celebrate this by "treating" the Women in their lives.

Men, if you ARE dating, if you are having SEX, if there is someone special who qualifies to be remembered...

If you DO NOT, chances are the relationship will be OVER or at least DOWNGRADED.  You'll be considered cheap if you forget.  But I caution you NOT to say you love someone (or give them that impression) if you DO NOT.

A VALENTINE'S DAY WITHOUT A VALENTINE IS ... GREAT!

VALENTINE's DAY,  like so many other holidays, has been marketed as a gift-giving day, a day you have to spend to prove you like or love someone.  I think this day has put pressure on people to make a commitment or not too.  So I decided to do a little research and one site actually has a stat that FEBRUARY is the month that has the MOST BREAK UPS.  November isn't a great month for relationships either.  Let's face the fact that if someone doesn't want to be with you for the holidays - because they want to go to parties to meet someone else alone or don't want to spend money on you, November (right before Thanksgiving) is a great month to break up.  February is the month when the person has decided SPRING will provide them more opportunities to meet others.

Pixneo.com image

If you're dating someone and they are missing in action for Valentine's Day, then it's probably true that you are not a priority, and they don't want the relationship to go forward.  They may even be breaking up with you, or at least seeing how much you're going to put up with.  However, Valentine's Day should not be used to pressure a person to make a commitment, to give them a  deadline. When you get that commitment, especially if it's the day you get engaged, then for the rest of your relationship (note I did not say LIFE!), every Valentine's Day you've got that celebration pressure.  You will have to come up with gifts - so soon after Christmas and New Years - and go out to dinner - and all that - competing with the other couples for reservations.  And if the relationship does not work out, then every Valentine's Day you'll think about that. All those decorations hanging up, forcing this day at you, will remind you.  You're better off choosing another day for firsts to celebrate.


I'll tell you, it feels GOOD to not have those pressures.
It feels GOOD to not be thinking or worrying "Does he love me?" or "Will he propose?"
It feels GOOD not to be in ring competition with other women; I once had a very nice ring that I bought myself.  Since I lost it I have nor replaced it. I'm now ring free.

What of your friends who say things about marriage like, "We'll it's only a STARTER MARRIAGE!" or "Wonder if she'll EVER get married?"

I've got to tell  you that people who think this way are not people who can be friends.

Sister