Sister here:
This year like just most people I'm on a budget. I'm giving token gifts (under $5 or made by me in less than an hour) to my friends, most of whom at this point, are childless people. Years ago an aunt of mine told me that Christmas was really for the children, and maybe that's so. She was referring to the "miracle of Santa Claus" and the wonderment that children experience finding gifts under a tree. I enjoy giving and receiving gifts, especially gifts that are "right on" and show that the giver really knows me, but I prefer to have a dinner party and cook a beautiful meal as my gift rather than battle the crowds or go into debt. So if you are wondering if I'm going to give you some GIFT GIVING TIPS, you are right, I am.
First of all, is there a Trader Joe's near you? If so, they have some $5 or under special holiday herbal teas and chocolate. Next, do you know how to knit or crochet? I know there's not enough time to make a sweater, but I'm making crocheted scrap soap scrubbers (presented with a fresh cake of perfumed soap) with scrap yarn. Most of my friends are concerned about their diet because of their weight or health and it's so tempting to make a variety of cookies from scratch until I think of how they will probably gain five pounds over the holidays without my contribution. I plan on giving little items for their collections when possible. Whatever it is they collect, I keep an eye out all year including at garage sales and thrift stores.
I wish you a happy holiday mainly because for many NMNK this is the worst time of the year, because there is so much emphasis on family and children. Some families really make their NMNK members feel uncomfortable or even unwelcome, so remember there is nothing wrong with staying home with some comedy DVDs and avoiding those people! Yours in spirit, Sister
11/28/11
2011 INTERNATIONAL FAMILY PLANNING CONFERENCE in DAKAR SENEGAL
Dakar Senegal is the location of this conference which is entitled FAMILY PLANNING.
I'm not comfortable with that term because it is QUAINT. Family Planning assumes first of all that you are a person who is going to have a family. Family Planning assumes that you are thus a person who does not have sex unless contraception is a family planning issue (that you are married or going to wait until married), rather than an issue of having sex without bringing children into the world.
I think they are trying to be non controversial using this quaint FAMILY PLANNING term when this is a very controversial subject!
In many parts of the world - and still here in the United States in most families - those who do not want any children and do something about it - especially if you have yourself sterilized when you are young - are considered to be abnormal human beings. Even abortion here is understood as "not the right time" to have a child rather than "Never Wanted A Child In The First Place, and Probably Never Will."
I'm not comfortable with that term because it is QUAINT. Family Planning assumes first of all that you are a person who is going to have a family. Family Planning assumes that you are thus a person who does not have sex unless contraception is a family planning issue (that you are married or going to wait until married), rather than an issue of having sex without bringing children into the world.
I think they are trying to be non controversial using this quaint FAMILY PLANNING term when this is a very controversial subject!
In many parts of the world - and still here in the United States in most families - those who do not want any children and do something about it - especially if you have yourself sterilized when you are young - are considered to be abnormal human beings. Even abortion here is understood as "not the right time" to have a child rather than "Never Wanted A Child In The First Place, and Probably Never Will."
11/16/11
ALONE BUT NOT LONELY DURING THE HOLIDAYS
MY NMNK Friends, I haven't posted in a couple weeks because my entire abode seems to be falling down around me!
Two weeks ago I intended to cook a wonderful Thanksgiving meal and have over a few friends who have nowhere special to go, but here is what happened.
First I put the heater on one crisp morning, just before I stepped into the shower, but the heater burned up enough dust that the fire alarms went off while I was shampooing!
I sprung out of the shower, found my footstool, as the alarm blared loud enough to wake the neighbors, and reached up and hit the button again and again, but the fire alarm would not stop.
So I hit the circuit breakers, which worked at my last place, and the alarm kept sounding, as well as the panick button. I got back up on the footstool and pulled the batteries out of the alarm. That worked. But what didn't work, when I put all the circuit breaker switches back on was the electricity. Somehow, half the outlets were no longer operational. You know how you walk around with a little lamp checking? Nothing!
Just to make it all more fantastically upsetting, my towel rack in the bathroom fell and hit my toe. I was simply removing the towels for the laundry when it fell, but it's metal and ooouch!
I did the laundry and when I put a dozen hangers loaded with clothing on my closet pole, the entire shelving unit came out of the wall!
I know you are laughing now!
A friend came over to try and solve the mystery. We went back outside where the leaves are all over the ground and did not realize we had stepped in dog shit. That's supposed to be good luck, right? Well, we noticed when we brought it in on the carpeting.
So here I am, two weeks later with electricity that is back on, and a lot of holes in the wall where the carpenter attempted to find pre-building code studs, that need to be patched and repainted.
Now I'm thinking I will just stay home alone on Thansgiving and make myself some TURKEY TACOS! I need a break! Sister
Two weeks ago I intended to cook a wonderful Thanksgiving meal and have over a few friends who have nowhere special to go, but here is what happened.
First I put the heater on one crisp morning, just before I stepped into the shower, but the heater burned up enough dust that the fire alarms went off while I was shampooing!
I sprung out of the shower, found my footstool, as the alarm blared loud enough to wake the neighbors, and reached up and hit the button again and again, but the fire alarm would not stop.
So I hit the circuit breakers, which worked at my last place, and the alarm kept sounding, as well as the panick button. I got back up on the footstool and pulled the batteries out of the alarm. That worked. But what didn't work, when I put all the circuit breaker switches back on was the electricity. Somehow, half the outlets were no longer operational. You know how you walk around with a little lamp checking? Nothing!
Just to make it all more fantastically upsetting, my towel rack in the bathroom fell and hit my toe. I was simply removing the towels for the laundry when it fell, but it's metal and ooouch!
I did the laundry and when I put a dozen hangers loaded with clothing on my closet pole, the entire shelving unit came out of the wall!
I know you are laughing now!
A friend came over to try and solve the mystery. We went back outside where the leaves are all over the ground and did not realize we had stepped in dog shit. That's supposed to be good luck, right? Well, we noticed when we brought it in on the carpeting.
So here I am, two weeks later with electricity that is back on, and a lot of holes in the wall where the carpenter attempted to find pre-building code studs, that need to be patched and repainted.
Now I'm thinking I will just stay home alone on Thansgiving and make myself some TURKEY TACOS! I need a break! Sister
10/29/11
HALLOWEEN CELEBRATION OF OUTRAGEOUSNESS
Over the years I've grown increasingly disinterested in celebrating Halloween, which is probably the biggest holiday of the year in the United States, except for maybe Christmas. Maybe this is because increasingly Halloween is associated with outrageousness rather than the spiritual time it's connected to - a celebration of the ancestors and those who have passed before us. Therefore, I am sitting this Halloween out as I have many years, staying home - alone , and enjoying some cider and harvest foods, while quietly reading my spiritual books. Sister
10/15/11
RALPHS GROCERY DISCOUNT CARDS CHEAT THE SINGLE : SISTER SPEAKS
I was shopping at my local grocer the other day, Ralphs, one of the Kroger companies, when they actually told me I had lost 5 points, one a plastic bag, because they had bagged my groceries in these plastic bags, even though I had brought along one of my own shopping bags! (The clerk had not noticed by bag and told me I had not shown her I had one in enough time... yeesh!)
You see I live in California where there has been legislation to reduce the number of plastic shopping bags due to ecological concerns by charging for them in some way. Consumers are overall not impressed. Nobody wants to leave a store with purchases unbagged but no one wants to carry around stinky wrinkled old bags either.
WHAT I SEE IS THAT WE ARE NOW PURCHASING BAGS AT A DOLLAR OR MORE EACH and these bags are MADE IN CHINA and do not look biodegradable to me! (Though some of them may be made of some recycled materials.)
Beyond an argument for ecology here, is the fact that I CANNOT BUY GROCERIES AT THE BEST DISCOUNT AT MANY STORES WITHOUT USING ONE OF THEIR ACCOUNT CARDS. THESE CARDS PROVIDE SO CALLED REWARDS FOR HIGH GROCERY BILLS PER ACCOUNT : they reward FAMILIES.
It was this account card that was being zapped five points and the clerk (that twerp!) was admonishing me.
So I said (and her face turned red when I did). "You know, as a single person I HAVE NEVER ONCE PURCHASED ENOUGH TO GET ANY RALPHS REWARD. I believe that every person who walks in here should be eligible for the lowest price without these stupid cards! I see no reason whatsoever that your company should be collecting information on what I purchase here! It's enough to shop elsewhere!
The truth is that ever since the strike a few years back when Ralphs got caught by the IRS having some employees work using OTHER PEOPLE'S SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS and got a fine of a million or two, prices have been up into sticker shock zone. While I feel for dedicated employees and I see the trick the company used to try and break the unions, I'VE BEEN TAKING MOST OF MY GROCERY SHOPPING ELSEWHERE.
The other day I learned that Ralphs has closed about 50 stores since that strike and that people are now buying good at places like TARGET and WALLMART as well as Trader Joes which provide competition (and no union workers).
Trader Joes is my favorite for high quality basic items (I can't afford their fancy stuff) AND FOR PAYING THEIR EMPLOYEES WELL!
As the SINGLE (and unmarried) who are self supporting and have a household of ONE, WE ARE OFTEN NOT TREATED WELL AS CONSUMERS. But really, why does Ralphs or any other company need to know your name, address, phone number, demographic information, and that you do or do not buy... sanitary napkins, beer, canned chili, People magazine, or anything else!? in order to offer their lowest prices? Once in a while a coupon spits out of the register for something I bought or they want me to buy. I've gotten those intelligent coupons elsewhere without such a card.
NMNK need to speak up as consumers and on the spot.
You see I live in California where there has been legislation to reduce the number of plastic shopping bags due to ecological concerns by charging for them in some way. Consumers are overall not impressed. Nobody wants to leave a store with purchases unbagged but no one wants to carry around stinky wrinkled old bags either.
WHAT I SEE IS THAT WE ARE NOW PURCHASING BAGS AT A DOLLAR OR MORE EACH and these bags are MADE IN CHINA and do not look biodegradable to me! (Though some of them may be made of some recycled materials.)
Beyond an argument for ecology here, is the fact that I CANNOT BUY GROCERIES AT THE BEST DISCOUNT AT MANY STORES WITHOUT USING ONE OF THEIR ACCOUNT CARDS. THESE CARDS PROVIDE SO CALLED REWARDS FOR HIGH GROCERY BILLS PER ACCOUNT : they reward FAMILIES.
It was this account card that was being zapped five points and the clerk (that twerp!) was admonishing me.
So I said (and her face turned red when I did). "You know, as a single person I HAVE NEVER ONCE PURCHASED ENOUGH TO GET ANY RALPHS REWARD. I believe that every person who walks in here should be eligible for the lowest price without these stupid cards! I see no reason whatsoever that your company should be collecting information on what I purchase here! It's enough to shop elsewhere!
The truth is that ever since the strike a few years back when Ralphs got caught by the IRS having some employees work using OTHER PEOPLE'S SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS and got a fine of a million or two, prices have been up into sticker shock zone. While I feel for dedicated employees and I see the trick the company used to try and break the unions, I'VE BEEN TAKING MOST OF MY GROCERY SHOPPING ELSEWHERE.
The other day I learned that Ralphs has closed about 50 stores since that strike and that people are now buying good at places like TARGET and WALLMART as well as Trader Joes which provide competition (and no union workers).
Trader Joes is my favorite for high quality basic items (I can't afford their fancy stuff) AND FOR PAYING THEIR EMPLOYEES WELL!
As the SINGLE (and unmarried) who are self supporting and have a household of ONE, WE ARE OFTEN NOT TREATED WELL AS CONSUMERS. But really, why does Ralphs or any other company need to know your name, address, phone number, demographic information, and that you do or do not buy... sanitary napkins, beer, canned chili, People magazine, or anything else!? in order to offer their lowest prices? Once in a while a coupon spits out of the register for something I bought or they want me to buy. I've gotten those intelligent coupons elsewhere without such a card.
NMNK need to speak up as consumers and on the spot.
10/9/11
THE DISABLED : ANOTHER CATEGORY OF NMNK!
The other day I realized that I have devoted no time on this blog to THE DISABLED. Now we know that some disabled people are having relationships and getting married. BUT WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, I realized that many disabled people are ALONE (and MAYBE LONELY TOO) because - sad but true - being disabled is being disadvantaged, often economically.
Under the title of this blog I say AN INTENTIONAL COMMUNITY. I also say that NMNK is a lifestyle by choice or by fate.
And when you are born or become disabled, I think it's tougher in general to have a full life.
I know there are some disabled people out there who are showing us that is not so.
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU IF YOU ARE A NMNK DISABLED PERSON!
I want to know what your life is like!
Sister
Under the title of this blog I say AN INTENTIONAL COMMUNITY. I also say that NMNK is a lifestyle by choice or by fate.
And when you are born or become disabled, I think it's tougher in general to have a full life.
I know there are some disabled people out there who are showing us that is not so.
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU IF YOU ARE A NMNK DISABLED PERSON!
I want to know what your life is like!
Sister
9/15/11
DO YOU THINK ASTROLOGY HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU BEING SINGLE?
Sister here: I was wondering if anyone out there thinks that their astrology - fate - has everything to do with being NMNK. Would like to hear from you!
8/15/11
ZEDGE HAS SOME "ALONE NOT LONELY" IMAGE DOWNLOADS FOR YOUR CELL
Just checking for Zedge to see if there were any cool images to download as wallpaper for my cell and they have some under ALONE BUT NOT LONELY or ALONE NOT LONELY!
8/2/11
NEVER MARRIED CHILDLESS WOMEN IN AUSTRALIA
The data is from about 2006:
"A growing proportion of women reach older age without having married or having children. Assumptions that these older women are lonely, impoverished, and high users of social and health services are based on little evidence. This paper uses data from the Older cohort of the Australian Longitudinal Study on Women's Health to describe self-reported demographics, physical and emotional health, and use of services among 10,108 women aged 73-78, of whom 2.7% are never-married and childless. The most striking characteristic of this group is their high levels of education, which are associated with fewer reported financial difficulties and higher rates of private health insurance. There are few differences in self-reported physical or emotional health or use of health services between these and other groups of older women. Compared with older married women with children, they make higher use of formal services such as home maintenance and meal services, and are also more likely to provide volunteer services and belong to social groups. Overall, there is no evidence to suggest that these women are a "problem" group. Rather, it seems that their life experiences and opportunities prepare them for a successful and productive older age. "
"A growing proportion of women reach older age without having married or having children. Assumptions that these older women are lonely, impoverished, and high users of social and health services are based on little evidence. This paper uses data from the Older cohort of the Australian Longitudinal Study on Women's Health to describe self-reported demographics, physical and emotional health, and use of services among 10,108 women aged 73-78, of whom 2.7% are never-married and childless. The most striking characteristic of this group is their high levels of education, which are associated with fewer reported financial difficulties and higher rates of private health insurance. There are few differences in self-reported physical or emotional health or use of health services between these and other groups of older women. Compared with older married women with children, they make higher use of formal services such as home maintenance and meal services, and are also more likely to provide volunteer services and belong to social groups. Overall, there is no evidence to suggest that these women are a "problem" group. Rather, it seems that their life experiences and opportunities prepare them for a successful and productive older age. "
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)