HEALTH- US NEWS : ASEXUALITY INVISIBLE ORIENTATION
EXCERPT: About 1 percent of the population is asexual, according to research by Anthony Bogaert, a psychology professor at Brock University in Ontario, Canada. In comparison, 1.6 percent of Americans identify as gay or lesbian and 0.7 percent identify as bisexual, according to a 2013 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention survey of adults 18 and older.
10/24/15
DEMISEXUAL? GREYSEXUAL? LITHROMANTIC?
HUFFINGTON POST - SEXUALITY TERMS YOU PROBABLY DON'T KNOW by Noah Michelson - full article
EXCERPTS:
According to Asexuality.org, romantic attraction "is an emotional response that most people often feel that results in a desire for a romantic relationship with the person that the attraction is felt towards." The site notes that "many asexual people experience romantic attraction even though they do not feel sexual attraction" and though romantic and sexual orientations often "match," "it is common to find mixed combinations of romantic and sexual orientations" in the asexual community.
EXCERPTS:
According to Asexuality.org, romantic attraction "is an emotional response that most people often feel that results in a desire for a romantic relationship with the person that the attraction is felt towards." The site notes that "many asexual people experience romantic attraction even though they do not feel sexual attraction" and though romantic and sexual orientations often "match," "it is common to find mixed combinations of romantic and sexual orientations" in the asexual community.
10/21/15
ASEXUALITY IS NOT THE NEW NORMAL BUT IT IS BEING RECOGNIZED AS A SEXUALITY CATEGORY
One of the things that horrified me in my teens was the new knowledge that, if you got married, then you were signing on for being sexually active with the same person for the rest of your life and you HAD to satisfy them. At the time I wasn't sexual with anyone and most girls seemed to be intent on fending off boys who were supposed to be the "horny" ones. It seemed to be our jobs - and our reputations - to stop them. I hated the pressure and the feeling of being pursued madly. It felt to me like all boys were stalkerish.
Married for life: This is how just about everyone who surrounded me seemed to be doing it, being married and faithful and loyal. Divorce was rare among the people in my community. Perhaps I was too young to understand that married people had all sort of understandings and contracts between them, things that sustained them, and that all marriages were really not alike, even if these people had the traditional roles of man as breadwinner and woman as wife and mother.
I had no idea really about my parents' sexuality. Or anyone's. It was a private matter, not discussed, which I agree with actually. Parents should not be talking their intimate lives with their children. It was a shocker years later to find out that one of my friend's parents had divorced after three children because he was actually homosexual and his rejection of his wife had lead her to drink and sleep around.
Still, when you're just trying to figure things out for yourself, it can be daunting to imagine that you might have to have sex for the rest of your life with the same person, granted a person who you supposedly love and who supposedly loves you, and who you made a (sacred) commitment to for life. If you have some sexual experiences with boys who have not a clue what they are doing and remain unsatisfied yourself, sex feels like a chore, an obligation, a duty, and a danger.
Well, I've got lots of love to give, always have. But I never met that "special someone" who I could imagine being committed to, in love with, and sexual with, for the rest of my life. Nor did he find me.
Am I asexual?
I've been reading around this subject and actually I don't think so. The reason I don't think so is that from what I'm reading it sounds like asexual could be a natural state one experiences their entire life. Such a person just never is very interested in sex.
Maybe we all go through questioning, doubts, and experiences, and eventually we come to come to a decision about our ORIENTATION, and our GENDER. What about when people get older and find themselves with much less libido? They are still likely to self identify themselves based on all the experiences they had as younger people.
Still, I know some asexual (by self identification) people have read NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS BLOGSPOT and left comments in the past, explaining to me that this is WHY they are NMNK.
Early on in this blog I tried to identify the various groups of people who are NMNK including priests and nuns. I said being NMNK could be a temporary lifestyle or something you have no choice in, though I myself am NMNK by choice.
So in the next few posts I'm going to look into the latest on ASEXUALITY.
C 2015 Never Married No Kids - An Intentional Community All Rights Reserved
Married for life: This is how just about everyone who surrounded me seemed to be doing it, being married and faithful and loyal. Divorce was rare among the people in my community. Perhaps I was too young to understand that married people had all sort of understandings and contracts between them, things that sustained them, and that all marriages were really not alike, even if these people had the traditional roles of man as breadwinner and woman as wife and mother.
I had no idea really about my parents' sexuality. Or anyone's. It was a private matter, not discussed, which I agree with actually. Parents should not be talking their intimate lives with their children. It was a shocker years later to find out that one of my friend's parents had divorced after three children because he was actually homosexual and his rejection of his wife had lead her to drink and sleep around.
Still, when you're just trying to figure things out for yourself, it can be daunting to imagine that you might have to have sex for the rest of your life with the same person, granted a person who you supposedly love and who supposedly loves you, and who you made a (sacred) commitment to for life. If you have some sexual experiences with boys who have not a clue what they are doing and remain unsatisfied yourself, sex feels like a chore, an obligation, a duty, and a danger.
Well, I've got lots of love to give, always have. But I never met that "special someone" who I could imagine being committed to, in love with, and sexual with, for the rest of my life. Nor did he find me.
Am I asexual?
I've been reading around this subject and actually I don't think so. The reason I don't think so is that from what I'm reading it sounds like asexual could be a natural state one experiences their entire life. Such a person just never is very interested in sex.
Maybe we all go through questioning, doubts, and experiences, and eventually we come to come to a decision about our ORIENTATION, and our GENDER. What about when people get older and find themselves with much less libido? They are still likely to self identify themselves based on all the experiences they had as younger people.
Still, I know some asexual (by self identification) people have read NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS BLOGSPOT and left comments in the past, explaining to me that this is WHY they are NMNK.
Early on in this blog I tried to identify the various groups of people who are NMNK including priests and nuns. I said being NMNK could be a temporary lifestyle or something you have no choice in, though I myself am NMNK by choice.
So in the next few posts I'm going to look into the latest on ASEXUALITY.
C 2015 Never Married No Kids - An Intentional Community All Rights Reserved
10/14/15
MATCHMAKE YOURSELF? TWO YEARS OF BLISS and then ON YOUR NERVES?
The other night I told a friend of mine that I'd been thinking of a writing a list of questions which I could hand out to anyone who thinks they want to have a relationship with me. I mean men, who if they answer enough questions right could be friends with me or if they answered ALL the questions right, could actually have a Relationship with me, or at least start one. The reason for this is that suddenly I've attracted three potential Relationships with men I've met in recent months. I see how easy it is for having flowing conversations, a few laughs, or a good time, can make people skip over all the important issues, and become too involved, and then break up anyway.
WHO NEEDS THAT?
I decided the list of questions would be, not tricky, but the reader would not necessarily know where I was coming from so they couldn't guess what answers I hoped for. I would warn them to be honest since they had no idea.
The inspiration for this idea was a recent article that explained why everything you like or love about a person WILL BE ON YOUR NERVES in two years. Well, what happens is that the characteristic you liked or loved seems exaggerated at that point. He was neat. Now he's excessively neat and on your back about dishes in the sink. You loved her long hair. Now you go crazy waiting the two hours it takes for her to shampoo, condition, set, and comb out before you go out. Etc.
So I'm not going to tell you all the questions on my list. I'm going to tell you ONE and encourage you to make your own list, if you think that you'll have the courage to actually present it upon someone new in your life.
1) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF LAS VEGAS?
WHO NEEDS THAT?
I decided the list of questions would be, not tricky, but the reader would not necessarily know where I was coming from so they couldn't guess what answers I hoped for. I would warn them to be honest since they had no idea.
The inspiration for this idea was a recent article that explained why everything you like or love about a person WILL BE ON YOUR NERVES in two years. Well, what happens is that the characteristic you liked or loved seems exaggerated at that point. He was neat. Now he's excessively neat and on your back about dishes in the sink. You loved her long hair. Now you go crazy waiting the two hours it takes for her to shampoo, condition, set, and comb out before you go out. Etc.
So I'm not going to tell you all the questions on my list. I'm going to tell you ONE and encourage you to make your own list, if you think that you'll have the courage to actually present it upon someone new in your life.
1) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF LAS VEGAS?
10/1/15
MATCH MAKING? THE JEWISH MATCHMAKER IN AN OLD NEIGHBORHOOD
I lived in a Jewish neighborhood for a while and actually encountered a match maker. A tradition. Usually a Jewish woman who makes it her business to know who is unmarried, looking for marriage, and who is eligible. As in the romantic old film "Crossing Delancy Street."
She told me that her services extended to referring men in particular for make overs and especially some better clothing. (Ah but after marriage either his wife dresses him or he goes back to slovenly looks.)
She said that it is believed in the Jewish faith that if you match make three couples, then you go to heaven. She had match made two couples. You see she got into this late and wasn't sure she would go past three.
Since then I've learned that Jewish people seem to put a lot of pressure on their own to be married. Married is the way people are supposed to go through life, it is believed. Though there is a LOT of intermarriage with other faiths, primarily Christians, there is also a lot of pressure for the Christian spouse to convert; if a person really believed in Jesus this would be impossible. But it's thought to be better after all to be unified religiously if you're going to raise children.
There are ALWAYS people who do not marry, for any number of reasons. Matchmaking works on the problem of actually meeting people in general. It can be helpful to those who are not too social maybe because they are too busy with education and work.
She told me that her services extended to referring men in particular for make overs and especially some better clothing. (Ah but after marriage either his wife dresses him or he goes back to slovenly looks.)
She said that it is believed in the Jewish faith that if you match make three couples, then you go to heaven. She had match made two couples. You see she got into this late and wasn't sure she would go past three.
Since then I've learned that Jewish people seem to put a lot of pressure on their own to be married. Married is the way people are supposed to go through life, it is believed. Though there is a LOT of intermarriage with other faiths, primarily Christians, there is also a lot of pressure for the Christian spouse to convert; if a person really believed in Jesus this would be impossible. But it's thought to be better after all to be unified religiously if you're going to raise children.
There are ALWAYS people who do not marry, for any number of reasons. Matchmaking works on the problem of actually meeting people in general. It can be helpful to those who are not too social maybe because they are too busy with education and work.
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