MILLENIALS WANT TO PAY OFF HUGE DEBT BEFORE MARRIAGE?

MARKET WATCH - MILLENIALS KILLING MARRIAGE - THAT'S GOOD


EXCERPT:
Lowry is one of many people in her age group waiting longer to tie the knot. The average age for marriage is now 27 for women and 29 for men compared to 21 years for women and 23 years old for men in 1963 — and that is if they get married at all. Only two in five millennials were married in 2015, compared to two in three in 1980.

Many couples cite high levels of student loan debt as an obstacle to marriage, and millennials are wise to wait to pay that off before tying the knot, said Brianna McGurran, personal finance expert at NerdWallet. She noted that people with more financial independence have the resources to break off relationships they may be forced to stay in otherwise just to split rent or pay the bills.


....
What happened to marrying and THEN PAYING OFF YOUR MUTUAL DEBT TOGETHER?

WANT ROMANCE BUT NOT SEX?

THE VERGE - ASEXUAL DATING - ONLINE DATING ISN'T EASY by Julie Kleigman

Great article!  But are you really "asexual" because you want to have an emotional attachment with someone (i.e. love them or really like them a lot) before you have sex?  (I always worry that some Freudian psychologist or not-religious nut is going to take most people and label them abnormal for not wanting to have commitment-free, "casual" sex.)  A funny article and you may be tempted to click on the "asexual umbrella" link.  Yes I do think that being under that umbrella is one of the reasons why some people are and remain NMNK.

EXCERPT: Asexuality remains poorly understood by the public at large, and includes a broad spectrum of orientations; some asexual people feel no sexual attraction toward others and may be averse to sex, while others who feel no sexual attraction may still happily have sex with their partners. Other aces (the umbrella term for those on the asexual spectrum) like Cutler identify as gray asexual or demisexual, meaning they sometimes feel sexual attraction once they develop an emotional connection with someone. Some may want romance but not sex; others fall on the aromantic spectrum, meaning they sometimes or never feel romantic attraction. For those who do feel romantic attraction (to men, women, or any combination of genders), that’s where online dating comes in.

A VALENTINE'S DAY WITHOUT A VALENTINE IS ... GREAT!

VALENTINE's DAY,  like so many other holidays, has been marketed as a gift-giving day, a day you have to spend to prove you like or love someone.  I think this day has put pressure on people to make a commitment or not too.  So I decided to do a little research and one site actually has a stat that FEBRUARY is the month that has the MOST BREAK UPS.  November isn't a great month for relationships either.  Let's face the fact that if someone doesn't want to be with you for the holidays - because they want to go to parties to meet someone else alone or don't want to spend money on you, November (right before Thanksgiving) is a great month to break up.  February is the month when the person has decided SPRING will provide them more opportunities to meet others.

Pixneo.com image

If you're dating someone and they are missing in action for Valentine's Day, then it's probably true that you are not a priority, and they don't want the relationship to go forward.  They may even be breaking up with you, or at least seeing how much you're going to put up with.  However, Valentine's Day should not be used to pressure a person to make a commitment, to give them a  deadline. When you get that commitment, especially if it's the day you get engaged, then for the rest of your relationship (note I did not say LIFE!), every Valentine's Day you've got that celebration pressure.  You will have to come up with gifts - so soon after Christmas and New Years - and go out to dinner - and all that - competing with the other couples for reservations.  And if the relationship does not work out, then every Valentine's Day you'll think about that. All those decorations hanging up, forcing this day at you, will remind you.  You're better off choosing another day for firsts to celebrate.


I'll tell you, it feels GOOD to not have those pressures.
It feels GOOD to not be thinking or worrying "Does he love me?" or "Will he propose?"
It feels GOOD not to be in ring competition with other women; I once had a very nice ring that I bought myself.  Since I lost it I have nor replaced it. I'm now ring free.

What of your friends who say things about marriage like, "We'll it's only a STARTER MARRIAGE!" or "Wonder if she'll EVER get married?"

I've got to tell  you that people who think this way are not people who can be friends.

Sister