THE CONFIRMED BACHELOR DOWN THE BLOCK

The Confirmed Bachelor Down the Block is probably not at all mysterious but in walking my dog I've met a log of single women who Wonder About Him.  They want to know if he has ever married, if he has children, and (though he is in a macho profession) if he is gay, or whatever!  Some are curious and some are looking for a man and think he's handsome.

I talk to this Confirmed Bachelor once in a while.  I pass by his house a lot because I walk my dog past it on my way to the store and I notice that he is a person who keeps himself immaculate and so is his house and yard.  He has the time and inclination to have everything clean and in place.

He is smiling and happy.  He has friends - male friends.

They seem to spend the weekends watching sports together.

He's hard working and up early to go to various job sites.

A few times he was on his porch with one of his male friends and me and the dog went over there to talk to them.  We joked and laughed a lot.

Then, he joked that he was "available," but the way he was joking, I wasn't sure.  Was he baiting me?  Was he making a joke of his Confirmed Bachelorhood?  Did he want me to ask him out?  Did he think I was only talking to him because I'm looking for a man?

Well, I'm NOT looking for a man, but I wouldn't mind making a new friend.

I backed off even making a friend of him.  For a few weeks I avoided walking that side of the street with my dog.

I thought maybe he would be surprisingly complicated if I tried to, that I would have to give him too many assurances that I was not trying to pick him up, date him, or be anything other than a platonic friend.  I thought it would be over doing it to go to him and say, "I am only looking for friendship."

Was he wary of me?  Is he "afraid of women?"  Now I may be more curious about the Confirmed Bachelor than most of the other women who want to know about him.

IF HE WANTS A GIRLFRIEND HE IS MISSING OUT ON SOME DECENT PROSPECTS!

Sister

CELIBACY AS THE "NEW SEXY?" A HOT TOPIC : IS IT ALLOWED? WILL IT PREVENT CHILDREN BORN OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE

HUFF POST : Sannon Colleary  full article  ON THE MARKETING OF SEX

EXCERPT: ..." read a fascinating article in the New York Times called "Life Without Sex" by the engaging French author and French Elle editor, Sophie Fontanel. The author took a 12-year hiatus from sexual congress... My first thought when I read this was, "Can you do that? Is that allowed?"  he writes, "At the beginning, I kept the fact that I had given up sex a secret, and nobody around me could guess how untouched I was. I knew perfectly well that people accept all kinds of sexual behaviors, just so long as you are doing something with your body."


MYBROTHA ; one Black persons viewpoint of Celibacy as Sexy  full article link  ON THE ISSUE OF CHILDREN BEING BORN OUT OF WEDLOCK IN THE BLACK COMMUNIT

EXCERPT: "It's sexy because it represents a total commitment to emotional, spiritual and intimate growth, and puts the worries and social pressures to have sex on the backburner. And while many people believe that abstaining from sex is difficult, faith-based dating sites like BlackCelibacy.com are dedicated to providing education and support for those who wish to explore celibacy.

With over 70 percent of kids being born out of wedlock, the continued spread of HIV/AIDS, and blacks leading the nation in divorce, BlackCelibacy believes it is important to work on fostering more healthy relationships in the Black community...."

BLACK CELIBACY COM  to check out that site, click here!

VOGUE : CELIBATE MARRIAGE


EXCERPT:"Celibacy is no longer a vexatious condition of religious life. It is now a considered choice individuals are exerting -- those not of the cloth or cloister but choosing nevertheless to gird their loins, test the frontiers of self-restraint and redirect their Eros towards other ends. Let's not forget, Gandhi and Freud did it."


ENJOY THESE ARTICLE! 

Sister

DO YOU HATE DATING? YOU CAN'T BE MATCH MADE

Is this you?

You can't be match made.  

When someone tries to match you, you feel uneasy, even angry.

You don't want to go out to clubs, unless you just want to dance or listen to the music, but you would happily hang at a table and talk, or dance and say "Thanks! but no Thanks" because you do not want to give out your phone number or ask for anyone else's number.  You do not want to pretend that you will call someone to see them again, unless maybe just as friends.

But you've noticed that when you say "I'm just looking for friends" most of the time you are not believed.  If someone is interested in you more than you are interested in them, saying that you're just interested in meeting people for friendship usually results in them trying to change your mind - now you're a challenge! 

So if you're simply nice, because you aren't trying to be mean, just honest, the whole club scene just results in follow up and follow through you aren't really interested in.

You're not anti-social.  You just don't want to date.  Not now.  Maybe not ever.  You need to get over you past experiences  or you need a break.  Maybe the problem is sex.   You don't like it or you want to wait until marriage or you think it's over emphasized.

Maybe you want to try going a year  or longerwithout having sex at all, because you find that sex seems to complicate things. 

You are not interested in meeting on the Internet either.  The whole experience leaves you feeling like you're in a beauty competition and marketing a product when you're a person.  It feels unnatural to you - and a time waster. 

Or you've tried it and it didn't work for you.  You spent your time meeting people who just wanted to e-mail, or who you met in person and didn't want to actually date you after all that.

IS THIS YOU?

Sister

(All original writing on this blog is C Sister/ Never Married No Kids Blogspot)