SENIORS WHO GAVE THEIR CHILDREN "EVERYTHING" and STILL DO NOT GET VISITS

I was talking to someone about this the other day and they said, "Sister, you do not know what the relationships were like. Maybe these parents abused their children and don't deserve a relationship."  He had a point, but as a NMNK I have looked in on a few seniors in my neighborhood who went to live in Assisted Living.  I looked in on people who

NEVER MARRIED OR HAD KIDS

Had children who were disabled and were in some way not capable.

Had children who hated them; sometimes the reasons were questionable.  Such as the woman whose daughter hated her because she also had a son who was ill and needed her attention much more.

Had children who were given cars, college educations, and help financing starter homes, but who still rarely visited their parents.

That the children were "too busy" or "have their own life," were the reasons given.

I just thought that maybe these children were only too glad they didn't have to take time off from their jobs or careers or their travel or whatever because their parents were in what was considered a safe place.

However even the so called "exclusive" building was not a great. For instance, at one place they had chicken almost every night for dinner, there was theft going on and it was probably staff blaming residents, and I walked in on an employee having a very long personal phone conversation who let the front desk - and taking calls from residents go without attendance.

I'm meeting more only children who have the full responsibility for BOTH parents as they age now.

One woman has parents who divorced, a mom with memory loss, who are in two different places.  She is NMNK and burdened with this unshared responsibility though she is intelligent, educated, and loves her parents.

Without judgement on what sort of relationship a parent has with their children,  I can say that HAVING CHILDREN IS NO GUARANTEE THAT THEY WILL BE ALIVE, WELL, INTERESTED IN YOU, or THERE FOR YOU IN SICKNESS and in AGE.

HAVING CHILDREN ONLY BECAUSE YOU THINK SOMEONE WILL BE THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU GET OLD is NOT A REASON TO HAVE CHILDREN.

Sister

NMNK in 2023 REVIEW: ARE YOU NMNK BECAUSE OF FINANCIAL CONSIDERATIONS?

 Hello my friends, NMNK and otherwise.

This year I ...

Had to tell a man who has a daughter but otherwise has been divorced for years without any intent to remarry what NMNK means.  (It was funny because he thought maybe I was trying to tell him about my sexuality)  Never Married No Kids.

Met more people who are having trouble paying their rent (even when they have had several children who are NOT helping their parents).  I met divorced or unmarried persons who are stuck in inadequate housing... such as living in a room or living with one or more roommates rther than having their own apartment or home.

Was proposed to by a friend since he said, neither of us have ever married.  (But he had a ten year relationship with a woman he did not marry, who left the relationship to marry someone else.  I thought he was sincere but have no romantic or sexual interest in him.  I had to remind him that crushes don't last and that living together or getting married is serious.

Had a crush of my own - Yes it happens.  But I suppose the interest was not mutual because this man did not make a move. 

Met a NMNK man, who has had sex with a LOT of women but came closest to marriage with a ten year relationship that ended badly, tell me about how when he was 30 he ad his then girlfriend decided upon an abortion.  He said sometimes he thinks that he could have a child who would be 40 now, but that there is no way that he could have supported a child in his profession.  (Lot's of people work hard and cannot afford to bring a child into the word or raise it.)

Met a man, a senior who said that he is not willing to consider dating for two reasons.  One, he physically cannot have sex anymore, and secondly that if he married and it did not work out then he would loose his condo, which is basically his safety, security, and net worth.

ARE YOU NMNK BECAUSE OF FINANCIAL CONSIDERATIONS?

Sister