I kind of skipped Valentine's Day this year. In the past I've made it a point to celebrate the day by acknowledging my better friends, but this year I was feeling it was time to be on the receiving end.
And I got no acknowledgement from said friends.
But I did have a Valentine.
A man I'm casually dating (that does not mean casual sex) called the night before to ask if I would be his Valentine. He followed through with a couple mini quotes about love which he texted and showed up (his turn to buy) with some easy to heat up food and deserts and a bottle of wine from Trader Joes. Simple enough and delicious, we enjoyed the meal, and a couple hours later he left at curfew hour (I'm joking, as an adult I no longer have a curfew) with a sweet single kiss on the lips.
I'm not sure if this relationship is destined to be more than friendship. I'm trying to keep an open mind and have decided to be lazy about it.
I don't feel like working to hard to have a relationship.
I don't even feel like dating.
But it's nice to have someone to bop around town with on occasional.
2/9/15
50 SHADES OF EVIL and THE TURN OFF OF SEX - SISTER SPEAKS!
I've been following the controversy of the books and upcoming movie, entitled FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, which depicts an S and M (Sadistic and Mean!), bondage, power-over, "relationship" between a recent college graduate who is unbelievably naïve and stupid, and an extremely powerful billionaire who is more than intimidating. He's a stereotype of a "successful" businessman, if you only consider material success as success. He is "brilliant" but also into his power and has a very dark side. He picks the naïve and stupid college grad to teach lessons to.
I read two of the books a couple years ago, because I was curious about a best seller. The paperbacks were on a free books shelf, discarded there by some other turned off reader, and as I confessed to a friend of mine who was over for Sunday night dinner last night, I admit that as I turned the pages I kept wondering if maybe I would get turned on, but I didn't. I got turned off.
I got angry.
Christian ministers are upset, while many businesses with a VALENTINE'S DAY EVENT are actually using the S and M theme. (One local free publication had a Valentine's article that said we were all looking forward to the release of the movie, and supposedly the release of our inhibitions.) My friend said he heard women were even presenting their lovers with handcuffs to use on them for Valentine's Day gifts.
(Hopefully as joke gifts! Though not funny.)
In some parts of the country theatres are preselling tickets to the movie. Controversy began with the induction of actors to play the roles, some who refused or quit rather than risk their careers, but there is already talk of sequels to continue the sick on-screen relationship.
The author could care less about any bad reviews because she's got a best seller, has become wealthy, and has somehow managed not to be condemned as a pornographer. If this were a literary review, which it isn't, because that's not my focus of this article, I would say it was a badly written book, with stilted dialogue. Other than having the hots for each other, there is no good motivation presented for the relationship other than sex play, and maybe some people can find all the explorations of physical pain to be somehow about deeper psychological issues and meaning, that will somehow find release, and be resolved in the end, but I couldn't.
Having taken creative writing classes and being a sometimes voracious reader, my first criticism is that the dummy college student is not a believable character. It's almost as she was written as a 13 year old but then that would have been clearly evil. Set in the present and having been to college, I simply cannot believe that any woman today who manages to make it through to her graduation could be so uninformed, and if having never been brought up with or escaped Judaic-Christian values that dominate in the Western world, then untouched by feminism, or ignorant about the abuse of women.
My fear is that these books and the film are BLURRING the Question of WHAT IS RAPE?
Abusing another person with chains, ropes, and other implements and gear is now newly fashionable, in the form of potentially painful and violent sex play because two legal adults are doing so with "mutual permission"? Well, one of them gets to "do things" to the other. So how mutual is that?
Here is the state of things here in the Western World.
It is NOT OK to drug women for sex, because drugged or knocked out people cannot give permission, and so that is rape. It is not OK to have sex with a minor or someone who is unable due to low IQ to give permission no matter what age, because they are not able to really understand enough to give permission. It is NOT OK to have sex with corpses. It is NOT OK to molest or rape children, but the age at which one is a child rarely includes anyone over 12.
There used to be no such thing as rape in marriage because the rule of marriage was that a woman could not say no when her husband wanted to have sex - but we changed our minds about that as a culture as late as the 1970's. That reality is still played out in other cultures and microcultures but most of us in the West plan sex because we plan contraception. (That one female person cannot say no to one male person because she is not a person but an owned object is a HUGE TURNOFF towards traditional marriage as I see it.)
But if you use your "persuasion" or your "seduction" to get a woman/another person to do something, if you are manipulative or deceitful, then it's OK because the other person gave "permission" ?
It's about TRUST?
Ah, I HOPE the psychology profession is all shook up by this cultural phenomena.
PORNOGRAPHY goes terrible things to those who watch it.
It gives normal men the worry that their penis's are too small and the erroneous idea that all women want to be "banged."
(You will not find love, compassion, or gentleness, in porn.)
The women actors give great performances of loud, fake orgasms, and a lot of urging the male actors on. The male actors often have to see a lot of naked women kept aside the set who they are not performing with to get it up and keep it up. Porn gives permission for men to judge the normal women they meet for their bodies and what they will do sexually, or not, but it does not teach anyone how to have a relationship. In order to keep things "real" these actors do not use rubbers and there have been abortions, the spread of VD, and even AIDS, all for a destructive FANTASY of how sex is... when it isn't.
S and M is practiced by people who are spiritually ill and mentally ill. It is written and performed by people who are spiritually ill and mentally ill.
It's a destructive behavior.
There is no good reason for it.
C 2015 Never Married No Kids - An Intentional Community / Sister
Google Blogger
All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights
I read two of the books a couple years ago, because I was curious about a best seller. The paperbacks were on a free books shelf, discarded there by some other turned off reader, and as I confessed to a friend of mine who was over for Sunday night dinner last night, I admit that as I turned the pages I kept wondering if maybe I would get turned on, but I didn't. I got turned off.
I got angry.
Christian ministers are upset, while many businesses with a VALENTINE'S DAY EVENT are actually using the S and M theme. (One local free publication had a Valentine's article that said we were all looking forward to the release of the movie, and supposedly the release of our inhibitions.) My friend said he heard women were even presenting their lovers with handcuffs to use on them for Valentine's Day gifts.
(Hopefully as joke gifts! Though not funny.)
In some parts of the country theatres are preselling tickets to the movie. Controversy began with the induction of actors to play the roles, some who refused or quit rather than risk their careers, but there is already talk of sequels to continue the sick on-screen relationship.
The author could care less about any bad reviews because she's got a best seller, has become wealthy, and has somehow managed not to be condemned as a pornographer. If this were a literary review, which it isn't, because that's not my focus of this article, I would say it was a badly written book, with stilted dialogue. Other than having the hots for each other, there is no good motivation presented for the relationship other than sex play, and maybe some people can find all the explorations of physical pain to be somehow about deeper psychological issues and meaning, that will somehow find release, and be resolved in the end, but I couldn't.
Having taken creative writing classes and being a sometimes voracious reader, my first criticism is that the dummy college student is not a believable character. It's almost as she was written as a 13 year old but then that would have been clearly evil. Set in the present and having been to college, I simply cannot believe that any woman today who manages to make it through to her graduation could be so uninformed, and if having never been brought up with or escaped Judaic-Christian values that dominate in the Western world, then untouched by feminism, or ignorant about the abuse of women.
My fear is that these books and the film are BLURRING the Question of WHAT IS RAPE?
Abusing another person with chains, ropes, and other implements and gear is now newly fashionable, in the form of potentially painful and violent sex play because two legal adults are doing so with "mutual permission"? Well, one of them gets to "do things" to the other. So how mutual is that?
Here is the state of things here in the Western World.
It is NOT OK to drug women for sex, because drugged or knocked out people cannot give permission, and so that is rape. It is not OK to have sex with a minor or someone who is unable due to low IQ to give permission no matter what age, because they are not able to really understand enough to give permission. It is NOT OK to have sex with corpses. It is NOT OK to molest or rape children, but the age at which one is a child rarely includes anyone over 12.
There used to be no such thing as rape in marriage because the rule of marriage was that a woman could not say no when her husband wanted to have sex - but we changed our minds about that as a culture as late as the 1970's. That reality is still played out in other cultures and microcultures but most of us in the West plan sex because we plan contraception. (That one female person cannot say no to one male person because she is not a person but an owned object is a HUGE TURNOFF towards traditional marriage as I see it.)
But if you use your "persuasion" or your "seduction" to get a woman/another person to do something, if you are manipulative or deceitful, then it's OK because the other person gave "permission" ?
It's about TRUST?
Ah, I HOPE the psychology profession is all shook up by this cultural phenomena.
PORNOGRAPHY goes terrible things to those who watch it.
It gives normal men the worry that their penis's are too small and the erroneous idea that all women want to be "banged."
(You will not find love, compassion, or gentleness, in porn.)
The women actors give great performances of loud, fake orgasms, and a lot of urging the male actors on. The male actors often have to see a lot of naked women kept aside the set who they are not performing with to get it up and keep it up. Porn gives permission for men to judge the normal women they meet for their bodies and what they will do sexually, or not, but it does not teach anyone how to have a relationship. In order to keep things "real" these actors do not use rubbers and there have been abortions, the spread of VD, and even AIDS, all for a destructive FANTASY of how sex is... when it isn't.
S and M is practiced by people who are spiritually ill and mentally ill. It is written and performed by people who are spiritually ill and mentally ill.
It's a destructive behavior.
There is no good reason for it.
C 2015 Never Married No Kids - An Intentional Community / Sister
Google Blogger
All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights
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