Today I was, as I often do, browsing through the other sites that come up when I put NEVER MARRIED NO KIDS into a search engine. I'm so tired of the LONELY HEART postings in which people actually APOLOGIZE TO THE WORLD, that they are NMNK...
We do not OWE anyone to have children, especially if we don't want children. And, sometimes being unmarried and childless really is not the lifestyle choice a person wants, but for whatever reason it is their fate, at least for now. But still, stop feeling sorry for yourself on that basis already!
People who have no children to support and raise have far more time to do the things they want to. People with children are always complaining of having no time - not even for their "friends."
MAKE A FAMILY OF CHOICE !
Sister
Showing posts with label Blacksheep of the Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blacksheep of the Family. Show all posts
7/31/09
ARE YOU BLACK SHEEP OF YOUR FAMILY ?
ARE YOU THE BLACK SHEEP OF YOUR FAMILY?
Recently I learned that psychologists often view the person who is the Black Sheep in the family to be the healthiest person in it.
Often the Blacksheep is the person who admits there is a problem and that means others have to change. Though sometimes it's just a matter of being "different" as in the one who hasn't married and had children.
In a dysfunctional relationship (be that the family of origin or the "family at work) people are somehow assigned or grow into their roles and even if they're sick roles and they get used to being in them. The Black Sheep on the other hand, wants change.
When the Black Sheep wants change, the others who don't want change or who are afraid to change may be mightly compelling in their behavior to keep the status quo, even if the status quo is sick.
They may kick the Black Sheep out of the family or fire them at the office, BLAME THEM entirely for the problem, or be exceptionally critical and judgemental against them. By abandoning or isolating a family member, as in the case of shunning, that person's overall situation is weak. They will no longer have the benefits of being a member of the so called "building block" of society - the family!
If they love their family (or need their job), and many do despite everything, they may go back and agree to their old role, rather than not have any connection at all.
ARE YOU THE BLACK SHEEP OF YOUR FAMILY?
Sister
Recently I learned that psychologists often view the person who is the Black Sheep in the family to be the healthiest person in it.
Often the Blacksheep is the person who admits there is a problem and that means others have to change. Though sometimes it's just a matter of being "different" as in the one who hasn't married and had children.
In a dysfunctional relationship (be that the family of origin or the "family at work) people are somehow assigned or grow into their roles and even if they're sick roles and they get used to being in them. The Black Sheep on the other hand, wants change.
When the Black Sheep wants change, the others who don't want change or who are afraid to change may be mightly compelling in their behavior to keep the status quo, even if the status quo is sick.
They may kick the Black Sheep out of the family or fire them at the office, BLAME THEM entirely for the problem, or be exceptionally critical and judgemental against them. By abandoning or isolating a family member, as in the case of shunning, that person's overall situation is weak. They will no longer have the benefits of being a member of the so called "building block" of society - the family!
If they love their family (or need their job), and many do despite everything, they may go back and agree to their old role, rather than not have any connection at all.
ARE YOU THE BLACK SHEEP OF YOUR FAMILY?
Sister
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