I certainly missed POSTING for Christmas. The Holidays.
So I have to admit to you, I've been feeling a bit alone, maybe not to the point of being lonely, and certainly not to the point where I thought "Gee it's all my fault that I didn't get married and have children."
Well, I had to be reminded that being married doesn't mean you never experience loneliness. In fact it's probably awful to be MARRIED and feel ALONE IN THE MARRIAGE.
Before I could feeling sorry for myself, I realized my two newest friends are in need of a person like me to go places with them because their partners (one in a same-sex marriage) are so busy with work and other friends and activities that do not include them. Not that they would stop their partners from having friends or activities that they aren't interested in, but both of them admitted to me that they spent many hours alone.
My friend in the same sex marriage has been with his husband, the income earner, for 20 years. He helped raise the man's daughter, now grown, being the one who drove her and picked her up for school and other activities. His partner is a professional who seems to always take on more in his profession. Sometimes, in order to spend time together, he goes on rides to this man's meetings, then finds something to do like go shopping while he's in there. He has been like a traditional stay at home wife, making a beautiful home and so on for them so that the professional really only has to come home. I encouraged him to speak up and say they need more quality time together, but he will not. He says usually he likes all the alone time he has.
My friend in the opposite sex marriage married a man who she knew as a coworker for 35 years, someone who was married for 20 of that to someone else. He's a man who lives up in his head and is rather uncommunicative overall. I see how she always goes to him and tells him she loves him before she leaves the house. I know they most often sleep alone for practical reasons. Their house is rather quiet and she says she is not much of a talker - but she is with me.
One day I got a text from her saying that someone she feels alone in the world.
Neither relationship is likely to end in divorce. These people have accepted the limitation of their partnerships.
As I must too.
Because when the partner actually wants to spend some of that quality time, one way or another I will be cancelled upon or put on hold. I understand it. I do. So far I haven't been offended.
Yet, it is also nice to have other unpartnered friends who won't do that to me.
C 2018 Never Married No Kids BlogSpot All Rights Reserved.
