No Divorce No Heartbreak?
By Sister
Do some others assume that because you've never married and divorced (or lived with someone spouse-like and split up) that you are - well, not experienced with heartbreak? This blog understands that being NMNK is often a choice but sometimes it's just the way your life went despite your best efforts. WHATEVER, now that you fit in our CATEGORY, you are subject to the sam BS the rest of us are experiencing. Maybe you tried to join the ranks of the married and never got there. I dare say that some of you may be NMNK because of a heartbreak that occurred at some time in your life and you've never really gotten over him or her.
This blog is NOT about being unloving or unloved, however. I simply propose that for some of us creating "family" has much more to do with choice - having a family of friends. Some of us are truly "loners" but others of us have lives full of people. We don't need as much as some others or we get our need for companionship and socialization from people we are not married to or creating families with.
People often ask me invasive personal questions - even in public with other strangers around - wanting to know the details of my love life, sex life - present or past - and it always pisses me off. In fact, I've distanced myself from more than one person - male persons in particular - who have put me on the spot "just wanting to know."
The truth is, your personal life is personal unless you don't want it to be. You don'tOWE anyone any explanations for why you are the way you are - single and childless - and it used to be that such questions were UNDERSTOOD to be THE HEIGHT OF RUDENESS. I wish I had a standard answer to shut these rude questioners up but I seem to feel the eyes upon me expecting me to make a pronouncement. But when I do, I suspect that they are wondering if I'm just a great actress.
What kind of retorts have YOU made when someone tries to disarm you or make your lifestyle suspect?-
Sister
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2 comments:
An acquaintance anxious to marry was told in my presence "don't worry, you won't end up like Ann". I was so stunned that I didn't retort... Some of the childfree websites offer some great comebacks and I will use them in the future...I read your blog regularly and I hope you keep it up. It really helps me. Ann
Sorry but WHAT A STUPID REMARK. I dare you to call her up and tell her how you hope you don't "end up" like her - rude and insensitive! (Besides when it comes to "ending up" is anyone's story really over before it's OVER?!
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